[S1] Chapter 17: Trust

Maybe I should try making my own meals again, but after a month of not having to do anything except pick from the cafeteria menu at school, I'm having a hard time with it. That's how I ended up ordering in every single day since. Cooking was an option, I swear, but for that, I would need ingredients, which means I have to go out and do the shopping, therefore leaving my apartment.

I'm not ready for human contact yet. Everything with Miko and the guild was so awkward and uncomfortable that I couldn't think about anything else. I wasn't even able to look the food delivery guys in the face.

*Ding Dong*

I startle as my doorbell rings. Before I get up, I check my cell phone to see if anyone has announced their arrival but find nothing of the sort. I haven't ordered anything today either, so I have no idea who this is supposed to be. So I just pretend I'm not home.

*Ding Dong*

With a huge sigh, I swing myself out of my chair and head for the door. I go crazy when the bell rings again. I run my hand through my hair and try to straighten it a little, and finally, I find out who has rung, not once but twice.

"You look like shit."

"Thank you."

"Wasn't a compliment. Can I come in?"

"Is there any point in saying no?"

"Not really."

I take a step to the side and let no one less than Miko walk into my apartment. The last time I saw her was just under a week ago, the day we arrived back home. She sits down on my bed and examines my apartment as she did the first time she was in there. I'll never forget her disappointed face from back then.

"Good thing you didn't forget to eat." She nods at my collection of cardboard boxes next to my trash can.

"Are you trying to tell me you were worried about me?" my statement is meant somewhat ironically. She hasn't written or called me once in the last few days. Not that I've tried to get in touch either. How could I after I ran off?

"A little, maybe."

"There was no real reason to worry anyway."

"Why are you being so stupid, Kayla?"

I take a seat on my chair and turn so that I'm facing Miko.

"Ah, you came here to insult me? Is that all you want?" My stomach is churning, and I don't want to have a conversation like this. I don't want to argue. Why did I even let her in?

"I can tell you're wondering why you let me in. I admit, I'm surprised too. I thought about what I wanted to say to you, but now that I finally see you, I don't have the courage." She takes a deep breath and exhales slowly as if she is trying to calm herself down.

That's it, isn't it? First, she got me to join the guild, and now she's telling me they're kicking me out, right? I shake my head. These thoughts make no sense. I'm trying to talk myself into some bullshit, and I don't know why. Miko is here. She came here for me.

"So, what did you want to tell me?"

"Are you not listening to me? I can't really talk about it." Miko doesn't even look me in the eye. Her behavior is actually starting to worry me a little.

"Sorry, take your time." I simply say, but she seems to take it literally as we sit in silence for some minutes afterward.

"Okay, whatever, I'll just spill it." Miko claps both hands on her thighs and turns her gaze to me.

"First of all, you're a big jerk for just running off. What's with this childish behavior? Is it because I didn't fall around your neck after your confession? Boohoo." So, she does want to insult me, and I probably deserve it.

"I thought everything was fine. I thought we had agreed to start a new chapter. I can't really look inside you. I couldn't know how much I hurt you. I'm sorry, I really am. But there's one thing I can't forgive you for. Why do you trust me so much? Why do you trust my words as if they were the absolute truth?"

Somehow, I'm losing her right now. What's she getting at? "What do you mean?"

"I told you I don't think I feel the same as you. But that you are important to me. I have no idea how love works, okay? I've never had a relationship, especially not with a woman. Didn't it just occur to you that a confession like that might be a bit overwhelming? And then you just assume that you should disappear and throw away everything we have?"

I jump up from my chair. "You wanted to know how I feel about you! Don't you think I'm a little overwhelmed when you suddenly ask me something like that?" I notice how I get upset and angry.

"Do you understand what I'm trying to say?"

"No! How could I? You're not making any sense!" I shout.

"I don't want you to give up!"

"Give up what?"

"Me. I've been thinking a lot, and I don't want you to stop being in love with me."

"Are you actually listening to yourself? How can you be so selfish?"

"I just want more time. I need more time to try to understand your feelings."

"So you're telling me that you might fall in love with me at some point in the future?"

"I think so."

"You're stupid. And you think that's okay? Holding out on me and demanding that I pretend we didn't talk about it?"

"I have no idea if that's okay! But I want you to come back! The days without you sucked, I miss you!"

I'm overwhelmed. I am listening to Miko, but somehow, the meaning of her words isn't sinking in. What should I say now? A little defeated, I drop back into my chair. "You really are hopeless."

"Huh?"

"Did you really think I would give up? That I would suddenly hate you? I still love you, you stupid."

"It's impressive how you can say that without batting an eye."

"Why don't you try it yourself? Tell me that you love me. Not as a partner, just as a friend."

"Never."

What did I expect? It's still Miko I'm talking to here.

"Ah, I have just remembered something else," she says before swallowing noticeably hard.

"Hm?"

"We have a mission."

"Oh, really? So that is the real reason you're here?"

"No? Of course not."

I start staring at her to find out the truth, but she doesn't show me anything. Her poker face is simply too strong. But I can't shake the feeling that Lilith and Eliza sent her here to tell me about the mission.

"All right. What kind of mission?"

"No plan, we'll see when the time comes. Lilith's words."

Yes, sounds like her. Now, only one thing is missing to make this announcement perfect.

"When are we going?"

"The day after tomorrow."

"When did you find out about this mission?"

"Remember when you had that nasty nosebleed?"

"Sure, it's been a few weeks, but I remember that. And the idea of telling me about it didn't occur to you?"

"Sorry."

◆

"And you're sure this is the right place?"

"I think so."

I don't like Miko's tone of voice because she doesn't sound sure at all. But at least I know we're in the right city, in front of the right train station.

We're back in the city where I had my first mission. The fact that we're supposed to go to the place where all those mages died doesn't exactly make me look forward to it. Still, the thought of entering a dungeon, in general, doesn't scare me as much as it used to.

"Eww," Miko says and turns her gaze away from where she was looking before. My gaze automatically wanders there, and I discover the reason for her disgust. It is a young-looking man with shoulder-length, slightly wavy black hair that fades downwards into a light gray. As he drags his suitcase behind him and approaches us, I can't take my eyes off his skinny legs. These tight black jeans look far too good on him.

"Good morning, ladies."

"Good morning, Wace," I say with a slight smile, while Miko just looks at him wordlessly. I don't know the history between the two of them, and, strangely, I've never asked her about it.

When he supervised my practical license exam, he seemed very nice and courteous. I'm still terrified of table edges and the possibility of breaking my arm on one, but other than that, I can't say anything bad about him.

"And are you excited yet?" he asks.

"Not really, are you?"

"A little, I have to admit. The team that's been put together for this mission is really something special."

"Is that so?"

"Definitely. Didn't Lilith tell you anything?"

"Nope, she said it's more fun when we're surprised."

"I understand." Wace smiles a little sheepishly and looks around. "Let's see who arrives next."

Without knowing who else is coming, I do the same and look around to see who is coming out of the station building. But it's a cab that stops right in front of us that catches my attention.

The back door opens, and a woman gets out who, at first glance, reminds me of some celebrity. Simply because her outfit, consisting of dark, wide sweatpants, a crop top that shows off her incredibly slim waist, and a light blue oversized shirt, suits her far too well.

Her dark blue hair shines so beautifully silky that I can't help but assume that her care products are more expensive than my entire life.

"Stop staring like that; it makes even me uncomfortable," Miko whispers to me. At her command, I turn my gaze away from the woman who is taking her suitcase out of the trunk. How did I see that even though I wasn't looking? Well.

"Good morning."

I flinch a little when she speaks to us and again when I see her face from nearby. She is simply beautiful, and she also smells incredibly good.

"How are you, Luna?" Wace asks, only to be ignored.

"You must be Kayla and Miko. It's a pleasure to meet you. Lilith has told me a lot about you."

"Really? She didn't tell us anything." I just want to be honest, but my words bring a wry smile to Luna's face. She's irritated and doesn't know what to say, you can tell.

"Nice to meet you." Surprisingly, Miko holds out her hand to Luna, who happily takes it.

"Which guild are you from?" I ask, trying not to let the conversation fall asleep - after all, that's better than awkward silence. But instead of replying to me, Luna turns red. I don't know what has caused her to feel so ashamed. Maybe I don't want an answer to my question anymore after all.

"From… the Magical Girls Sparkle Society," she whispers. Even if I tried, I couldn't hold back the laughter that bursts out of me. I can't hold back my tears.

"That's all right. I can take it. Even our fans laugh at the name."

"You have fans?"

With a fluid movement, Luna pulls her cell phone out of her pocket, swipes across the display a few times, and then holds up a page with social media stats in front of my face. The Magical Girls Sparke Society accounts have a total of 7.2 million followers.

"Are you famous?" I ask as my heart sinks. Have I just laughed at a proper celebrity?

"I only have 170,000 followers. We are known more as a collective."

"What exactly do you do? You're a mage guild, aren't you?"

"Yes, in principle we are. But we mainly share a few personal insights into our lives in our content and make a few vlogs around the dungeons. We're not allowed to film inside or reveal any details about the monsters, but if we change the stories a bit, we can actually tell everything we experience."

Well, with the content, it's no wonder I don't know them. When something about magic was recommended to me, I clicked it away faster than I could have read the title.

"Awesome. Do you also shoot videos during our mission?"

"My manager asked me to, but I don't have to. Especially because you all have nothing to do with this stuff. Would you like to shoot something with me?" Her smile is so broad and joyful that I wonder what she's imagining.

"I don't know. It might be fun, but I don't know if I'm entertaining in front of a camera."

"You can think about it." She winks at me, and I feel my cheeks heat up. Somehow, she seems pretty flirty, almost uncomfortable being on the receiving end of something like this.

"Oh, here comes the rest," Wace says with a certain sadness in his voice, probably because everyone but me has ignored him so far.

I'm not good at recognizing people, but I'm still very familiar with the faces that come our way. While the presence of Krystoff, the mage whose life I saved in front of the dungeon we have to enter, catches me by surprise, I understand the meaning behind it. He's already been in that dungeon. He probably knows his way around it. And he certainly has a personal motivation to complete the mission.

But what are the two girls doing here? Alex, the green-haired, sporty student from the Student Council, is walking next to Krystoff. And in front of them is Nada, the young blonde student who was responsible for the magic barrier during the fighting tournament.

The moment Nada and I make eye contact, she runs off, and when we arrive, she puts her arms around me and hugs me tightly.

"You have to help me. Alex is weird. I've never seen her like this before."

I give Alex a look, but she's just having a lively conversation with Krystoff and throws him one or two charming smiles. Ah, I think I understand what she means. Alex seemed rather reserved at school, not shy but rather expressionless in the way she moves. But right now, she gives the impression of being the life in bloom.

"I want to go home." It is Miko who speaks up quietly.

"Oh, come on, it'll be fun," Luna says and waves to Krystoff and Alex, who look a little shocked at the sight of her. A danger for any gender when a beauty like her pays attention to you. Of course, I already know that from Miko. I haven't forgotten her. How could I?

"Good morning," Krystoff says as he arrives and bows slightly. Alex glances around, startled for a moment, and does the same.

And so the seven of us stand there, all carrying suitcases and backpacks. While Nada remains standing in front of me and Miko, Luna walks over to Alex and Krystoff. Wace, however, remains on his own and looks around between us.

"Right now that everyone's here, I'll briefly explain what happens next. First of all, just so everyone knows, my name is Wace, I'm the leader of this mission. If you have any questions or concerns during the mission, just talk to me. We're going to walk to the dungeon gate now. It'll take us about ten minutes. Our camp is being set up as we speak. Once everyone is settled in, we'll have the official mission briefing so everyone is aware of what we're up to. Everything clear so far?"

It's not his clear and distinct speech that amazes me, but how captivated and concentrated people like Miko and Luna, who were treating him like air just a moment ago, are listening to him. It's as if the switch had been flipped to working mode.

As no one speaks up, we begin our short walk towards the park where the dungeon gate is located. The area is no longer cordoned off by a magical field like before but instead by barrier tape and wire mesh fences.

"Nada, would you be so kind?" Wace says as we stop in front of the fences. She puts her backpack down on the ground, opens it, and takes out a small wooden plate with some kind of pattern on it. With his foot, Wace pushes some earth aside, and Nada places the board at this spot. Wace finally places a hand on the plate and feeds it with his mana. Shortly afterward, a barrier spreads out along the fence.

"What did you do?" Alex asks, somewhat irritated.

"We've put a barrier. Non-mages won't be able to see or hear anything that is happening behind the fence." Nada explains.

"Your invention?" Miko asks as she glides her fingers over the fence.

"Unfortunately not, I wouldn't be able to do that yet," Nada replies, scratching the back of her head. It seems as if she had been expecting the question, and yet it made her visibly uncomfortable.

We then entered the site under a section that was only cordoned off with barrier tape. The magical barrier is also active there, which I can recognize by the slightly shimmering mana in the air, which looks similar to heat flickering.

Although we are allowed to and have to work here, it almost feels illegal to wander around in this area. I can already see our camp in the distance. It reminds me of the old base of Krystoff's guild, where I first healed his comrades and finally him.

I was so relaxed earlier, but now I'm slowly realizing that it's about to start. Trust me, the excitement is greater than my anxiety. But I can't shake off a certain uneasy feeling.