A Conffesion

I walked with a smile, carrying the birthday cake... I walked towards the school gymnasium. He's there every day for basketball practice... he's the captain of the school basketball team. It's his responsibility to lead the school team. Although they lost in last year's winter cup, I'm confident they will win this time. I've seen significant changes in him since that defeat... he's become like... going back to that time... that stranger seems to have disappeared... I can't explain it in detail... but he's back to how he was before the Kisedai tragedy in junior high...

Now, I'm standing in front of the school gymnasium.

Silent...

I can't hear the sound of basketball dribbling or the bustling of the basketball club. Usually, Kugayama-senpai's voice is the most audible... but why is it quiet now?

I tried to peek from the entrance... there's only him... finishing practice, perhaps? Why isn't he going straight to the classroom to get his bag?

The tall guy with brown hair is sitting leaning against the gym wall by the basketball court. He's drinking mineral water, then he pours it over his head... tiist, tiist, tiist... I can see how the air drips onto each strand of his hair... he lowers his head... letting the water flow down to the floor...

What happened to him? I wondered if something bad happened to him. Did I come at the wrong time?

Isn't he busy practicing for the winter cup final next week? Did the burden of last year's loss make him stressed?

Should I just go home?

I stared again... he's still leaning down...

If it's like this, it feels like telling someone to stay away from him, or he will devour you... that's roughly the aura he gives off... suffocating... he has a strange aura that makes people submit to him...

Maybe it's best if I distance myself for now. I don't want to feel the pain of his sharp words. I've experienced it before in junior high, when his team mate talents emerged. When he became someone very... very unfamiliar to me... he didn't even apologize after making me cry all night... it's partly my fault, I came at the wrong time... So, I should step back...

I froze...

"Come in, you want to talk to me, right?"

His voice sounded piercing in my ears. My heart raced. His intimidating voice is so strong... as if it could crush my bones...

I contemplated whether to see him or not... he called me without even looking at me? So, he knew I came even though he didn't see it? Could he see me?

"Don't you hear my order?" he asked again.

I took a breath... he told me to enter... when he orders, you must obey immediately, because his orders are absolute... even though he has returned to the little friend I used to know, sometimes his perfectionist side still remains...

I approached him... "Akashi-kun..." yes, Akashi... Akashi Yuichirou, the guy I've loved for a long time...

Silence...

After he told me to enter, he ended the topic like this. I often struggle when I'm with him...

Rather than getting a headache, I took out the cake I brought and offered it...

"H-Happy Birthday, Akashi-kun..."

He raised his head... finally, he looked... no, he looked at the cake I brought...

"Hn. Thank you," he said.

I sat down and took out a cake knife... no birthday song, no candle blowing... Akashi-kun doesn't like it ever since his mother passed away... he also doesn't expect his birthday to be celebrated... but this has been my routine since we were little... I feel like it's my duty... I will continue to do it as long as Akashi-kun doesn't refuse... but if one day he lets me stop, then I will... but his order is absolute in my ears... I can't just defy it...

"This..."

I offered him a piece of my cake... he accepted it directly... it may seem very ordinary, but for me, who loves him, being close to him makes me very happy... my heart pounds with joy... it feels very happy...

I watched as he enjoyed my cake... nervously awaiting his comment.

He swallowed my cake...

"...delicious," he said.

I immediately withdrew my smile... I'm very happy... "Th-thank you... I tried really hard... I'm glad."

Praise from Akashi-kun is the best. It's very difficult to get praise from him. Even if I get a score of 90, he won't praise me until I get 100...

"Towel..."

"Towel?"

I raised an eyebrow... towel?

"Towel. You brought it, right? In your bag," he said.

Heeee... I know his eyes can predict the future, his instincts are like a psychic, but could he really predict a gift that I wrapped with gift paper inside my bag? That would be uncannily accurate.

I did give him a towel as a gift inside my bag! If he knew the color and size, it would be even more eerie.

"Towel, Maya. Didn't you hear what I said?"

I heard Akashi-kun mention the towel again.

Flustered, I immediately took the gift-wrapped towel from my bag. I had to give him this towel right away. After all, this towel was indeed a gift for him, so it belongs to him.

"Here..." I said, offering the towel to him.

Akashi-kun opened my gift... rather roughly.

I had wrapped it very carefully last night, but he tore it open in one go...

Haaah... typical guy... Why couldn't he be a bit gentler with my gift? I watched as the torn gift paper was discarded, feeling like my heart had been torn into pieces.

Well, in the end, that gift paper would only end up as trash. It couldn't be used again. What matters is the content of the gift, right?

Then look at that, Akashi-kun immediately used the towel I gave him to dry his hair, which was wet from being doused with mineral water earlier.

I observed his every move.

Oh my... he's so handsome... Oh God, my face is turning red. I'm embarrassed, even though everyone knows that Akashi-kun is very handsome. But because I'm in love with him, it definitely feels different, right?

"Just say what you want to say!" he said.

What does he mean? Why is he suddenly talking like that while I'm admiring his handsomeness?

Is he telling me to say something? Does he mean I should say that he looks very handsome with his tousled hair?

Oh dear... of course not, right? ... It's clearly impossible for me to say that to him! No way, even though I love him so much, even though everyone knows he's very handsome, I would never admit it directly to him! Especially in a situation like this. I'm afraid it would lead to a misunderstanding and damage our relationship.

So, what should I say if not about his current good looks that I'm admiring?

Akashi-kun only talks about important things. I know him very well. So, what should I say to him? About what?

Why is Akashi-kun looking at me now? Staring at me with those piercing eyes. Does that mean he's waiting for an answer from me? Is he genuinely interested in hearing what will come out of my mouth?

Why does he keep staring at me? Why did he stop drying his wet hair with my gift towel?

If he says something like this, does it mean he knows what I've been hiding?

I-I mean... he knows a lot, his instinctual abilities are terrifying. His intuition is equally terrifying.

Even though it's something difficult to understand, he's the first person to recognize the hidden talents of his basketball team members with just one look. That allows him to position his basketball team members according to their abilities. Even though he's a basketball captain, he has the skills of a coach.

Akashi-kun's talent is truly remarkable. But, is he using this instinct and intuition to guess what I'm currently hiding from him?

It can't be! He can't possibly know the feelings I've been hiding since middle school, right?

I've become an expert at hiding my feelings, and so far, I've always been safe without getting caught... It can't be read that easily!

Moreover, he and I have been together since childhood. Even though I've been harboring feelings for him, I've become very skilled at concealing them. Even until now, he has never suspected anything.

Isn't the love of our friendship enough to mask my romantic feelings for him? I'm sure he won't suspect the form of attention I give him. I've been attentive to him since childhood.

"Why are you silent?" Akashi-kun asked again.

"I..."

What does he mean? Honestly, I'm still confused by his words.

What does he want me to say to him? What does he want to hear from my lips? I've already wished him a happy birthday... isn't that the point?

Did my words of greeting fall short? Oh no... I forgot to express a wish!

Ah, it must be about that, right?

I quickly composed a sentence to express my wish to him on his birthday.

"I'm not like a child playing by the beach who accidentally finds a beautiful seashell, but Akashi-kun, you managed to turn that seashell into a beautiful piece of jewelry. It's so beautiful, like the masterpiece of a jewelry artist... Without your contributions since the beginning, I wouldn't be anything, I wouldn't be the person I am today... Happy birthday to my best friend, happy birthday Akashi Yuichirou!" I said.

He looked at me seriously... then smiled.

His smile looks suspicious. Don't tell me he's laughing at the painstakingly crafted sweet words I just said?

I know my words might sound cheesy, but they genuinely come from my heart. I hope he's not making fun of them!

Huh...

But it seems he's not doing that. Akashi-kun isn't laughing at this overly sweet string of words.

"Is that all?" Akashi-kun asks.

Is that all? Why does he ask questions that require so much interpretation in the answer?

He's intelligent; he shouldn't burden someone far beneath him with mysterious questions! Oh my... he really confuses me.

Akashi-kun can be annoying sometimes...

"..."

I remain silent because I'm confused about what to say next.

Meanwhile, Akashi-kun continues to gaze at me intensely. He doesn't divert his gaze from me at all. His eyes demand an answer from me.

I usually avoid direct eye contact when he looks at me this intensely. Locking eyes with him directly feels like relaxing my muscles. Especially with a gaze this close... huh?

Close... since when did he get this close?

Uuuh...

I pray he backs off a little. It seems he's not aware that he's making my face flush. He keeps closing the distance between us, making my face grow increasingly warm.

"..."

God... why does he look so handsome in my eyes?

A man with his messy hair, thin lips, straight nose, eyes, forehead... I... I... I truly love him...

"I Love You," I say.

Click...

Huh?

Those words just came out of my mouth...

I immediately cover my mouth with both hands.

How could I blurt that out without thinking, huh?

Why did I slip like this?

Oh my God...

What have I said? I've always regarded "I love you" as the most sacred words in my life! How could I say it so casually when I've been keeping it a secret from him? What's the point of hiding it if I end up blurting it out without any restraint?

I turn my face away... I'm so embarrassed...

How could I let this slip like that?

Oh God... what have I done? Stupid mouth!

He must be very angry, right? He always says that love hinders him. If I suddenly tell him that I love him, won't my feelings also hinder him?

"..."

Stupid, stupid, stupid! I'm so dumb!

I try to summon the courage to sneak a peek at him, but immediately turn away again...

Continuously like that... glancing a little, avoiding eye contact.

He remains silent. Akashi-kun hasn't shown any response after hearing my unintentional confession of love in English.

He must be furious with me! I'm sure of it!

I can't allow this to be left as is.

I have to do something so he won't be angry with me. It would be very awkward if we have a gap, and that gap will only create awkwardness between the two of us.

"Uhm, Akashi-kun... please, forget everything I just said, okay? ...haha... I was just joking... Yes, just joking, you know... h-hahaha..." I stutter.

I'm doomed! I'm terrible at acting! I don't have the ability to act this quickly.

Huh?

What's this?

What's Akashi-kun doing?

Akashi-kun tries to touch my cheek and makes me look at his face...

Huh?

"..."

Akashi-kun's face is very close to mine!

Ugh... my cheeks are burning because of his actions. I'm sure my fair complexion allows Akashi-kun to see the reddish hue on both my cheeks.

Embarrassing...

B-But this is beyond my control. My face turns red because of my own desires. I can't do anything to stop it.

Truly, what Akashi-kun is doing right now is making me melt.

"Look at me, Maya!" Akashi-kun says. "I feel like you've never really looked at me..."

"..."

It's you who never really looked at me properly, Akashi-kun! Really, it's you! ... I can feel it... and it's painful for me... But you're saying it's me who can't look at you properly. Sadly, I can't protest to you.

I finally muster the courage to look at him as he wishes.

"..."

Slowly, I open my eyes, feeling embarrassed and with my heart pounding.

I manage to look at this man... Trying to gaze at him properly, as he wants...

Ah...

Akashi-kun's hands were very cold... Their chill was noticeable on the surface of my cheek. However, I could feel the warmth of his breath. A breath that didn't smell of bad breath at all.

"Say again what you just said!" Akashi-kun commands me.

This is clearly about the "I love you" that I blurted out earlier, right? Of course, I understand which words Akashi-kun is referring to. I'm not so foolish that I can't comprehend his statement.

Do I really need to say it again to him? Do I need to tell him that I love him?

I start thinking about my conversation with Risa-chan and Shuhei-kun earlier. Both of them are close friends of mine, and even though I pretended not to understand, I knew what they meant.

Risa-chan and Shuhei-kun knew I had feelings for Akashi-kun, and they supported and encouraged me to be honest with him.

Could today, this moment, be my chance? Is God giving me an opportunity to confess my feelings to Akashi-kun after keeping them silent for so long?

Well...

Maybe I'm a coward, but I don't want to be a coward forever. I realize that now.

How long am I going to keep running away? Perhaps this is indeed the best time to express my feelings...

As I mentioned before, God has given me an opportunity, and with a little courage, the outcome could change. Just like Risa-chan anda Shuhei-kun said.

I'll never know if I don't try...

If Akashi-kun ends up hating me after this, it's okay. I'll still be his friend even if he doesn't want to acknowledge me anymore. It's painful, but it's one of the risks I have to bear.

I've actually grown tired of harboring this one-sided love for him all this time... I know what it feels like to be hurt while hiding your feelings. I know what it feels like to act casual when I'm deeply in love. So, I think I can anticipate the pain I'll experience if he rejects my feelings.

"Akashi-kun... I've loved you for a long time... always. I've always loved you, Akashi-kun..."

Ah, I've finally confessed my feelings, and of course, Akashi-kun remains silent. I expected as much.

"..."

Well, I might as well release all the feelings I've kept inside for so long. Pour them out until I'm satisfied and don't need to say anything more to him.

"I've loved you for so long, and that feeling has never changed. Instead, my feelings for you have grown bigger every day."

"..."

"Bigger and bigger..."

"..."

"I've been trying so hard to keep it down, to suppress it deep in my heart so it wouldn't come out. I was afraid of damaging our friendship that has been there since childhood just because of my one-sided love."

"..."

"But..."

"..."

"But now, I don't have the strength to hide it anymore. The ever-increasing pile of feelings is beyond my control. I admit it, I'm revealing my feelings to you directly... I love you so much..."

"..."

"Forgive me, Akashi-kun... I know this isn't the right time. I'm already grateful that you're my friend... But I'm too selfish, too selfish, and I hope we can date..."

I cried and concluded my honesty.

Finally, the words I've kept inside for so long have come out of my mouth. Although I don't know how it will end, I feel relieved. It's like a million-ton burden has disappeared from my chest. It allows me to breathe properly again.

"I'm sorry for being selfish..." I add as the end of all my confessions.

Huh?... Akashi-kun immediately pulls me into his embrace.

Is he apologizing while hugging me?

Even though we're hugging while sitting on the wooden floor, I can still feel the warmth of his embrace.

"..."

What's happening?

I'm still very surprised by this sudden action of his.

Akashi-kun is hugging me?

HUGGING ME!

Why is he doing this?

Ahhh... is this what it feels like to be hugged by a beloved friend?

His broad chest... His typical masculine back...

Warm... I feel his body's warmth...

And also... the scent of sweat and the smell of his damp hair... unique... it's not like the usual unpleasant odor that makes your stomach turn...

It's enticing... I like it... I like it very much...

I continued to cry in his embrace...

"I love you so much, Akashi-kun..." I reiterate my feelings to Akashi-kun.

I hope for a lot, I just want to say it again.

"I love you too..."

Huh?

Does that mean Akashi-kun loves me too?

I start crying again...

Can I hope for more from his words right now?

If so, then... truly... I am one of the happiest women in the world.

I don't know if his words are serious or not... all I know is that Akashi-kun is someone who carefully chooses his words. Unfortunately, I want to ask more, but my lips are having a hard time because I keep crying.

So, I just grip his sports shirt tightly.

Akashi-kun doesn't stay silent. This handsome man responds by hugging me even tighter.

I really love hugging him.

"I love you too, Maya..."

Ah, Akashi-kun clarifies his statement. He apparently has the same feelings as me!

God... if this is just a dream, please... don't wake me up... I want to stay like this forever.

"Happy birthday, Akashi-kun," I say again.

"Can I...?"

I smile... "Yes, y-yes..."

I'm happy, very happy...

After this, he and I will discuss many things about our story. We'll leave school holding hands. We'll go on dates like any normal couple.

What Risa-my close friend said is true, with a little courage, something can change.

I've cast aside some of my fears, prepared myself for the worst, and now I can smile with happiness. What I was afraid of didn't happen. My long-repressed love has received a response.

I should be even more grateful after this.

"Do you want to kiss?" Akashi-kun asks.

"Huh?"

I reflexively push his broad chest that's embracing me.

"That's too soon, Akashi-kun!" I scold him.

END OF MAYA'S POVI walked with a smile, carrying the birthday cake... I walked towards the school gymnasium. He's there every day for basketball practice... he's the captain of the school basketball team. It's his responsibility to lead the school team. Although they lost in last year's winter cup, I'm confident they will win this time. I've seen significant changes in him since that defeat... he's become like... going back to that time... that stranger seems to have disappeared... I can't explain it in detail... but he's back to how he was before the Kisedai tragedy in junior high...

Now, I'm standing in front of the school gymnasium.

Silent...

I can't hear the sound of basketball dribbling or the bustling of the basketball club. Usually, Kugayama-senpai's voice is the most audible... but why is it quiet now?

I tried to peek from the entrance... there's only him... finishing practice, perhaps? Why isn't he going straight to the classroom to get his bag?

The tall guy with brown hair is sitting leaning against the gym wall by the basketball court. He's drinking mineral water, then he pours it over his head... tiist, tiist, tiist... I can see how the air drips onto each strand of his hair... he lowers his head... letting the water flow down to the floor...

What happened to him? I wondered if something bad happened to him. Did I come at the wrong time?

Isn't he busy practicing for the winter cup final next week? Did the burden of last year's loss make him stressed?

Should I just go home?

I stared again... he's still leaning down...

If it's like this, it feels like telling someone to stay away from him, or he will devour you... that's roughly the aura he gives off... suffocating... he has a strange aura that makes people submit to him...

Maybe it's best if I distance myself for now. I don't want to feel the pain of his sharp words. I've experienced it before in junior high, when his team mate talents emerged. When he became someone very... very unfamiliar to me... he didn't even apologize after making me cry all night... it's partly my fault, I came at the wrong time... So, I should step back...

I froze...

"Come in, you want to talk to me, right?" 

His voice sounded piercing in my ears. My heart raced. His intimidating voice is so strong... as if it could crush my bones...

I contemplated whether to see him or not... he called me without even looking at me? So, he knew I came even though he didn't see it? Could he see me?

"Don't you hear my order?" he asked again. 

I took a breath... he told me to enter... when he orders, you must obey immediately, because his orders are absolute... even though he has returned to the little friend I used to know, sometimes his perfectionist side still remains...

I approached him... "Akashi-kun..." yes, Akashi... Akashi Yuichirou, the guy I've loved for a long time...

Silence...

After he told me to enter, he ended the topic like this. I often struggle when I'm with him...

Rather than getting a headache, I took out the cake I brought and offered it... 

"H-Happy Birthday, Akashi-kun..."

He raised his head... finally, he looked... no, he looked at the cake I brought...

"Hn. Thank you," he said.

I sat down and took out a cake knife... no birthday song, no candle blowing... Akashi-kun doesn't like it ever since his mother passed away... he also doesn't expect his birthday to be celebrated... but this has been my routine since we were little... I feel like it's my duty... I will continue to do it as long as Akashi-kun doesn't refuse... but if one day he lets me stop, then I will... but his order is absolute in my ears... I can't just defy it...

"This..." 

I offered him a piece of my cake... he accepted it directly... it may seem very ordinary, but for me, who loves him, being close to him makes me very happy... my heart pounds with joy... it feels very happy...

I watched as he enjoyed my cake... nervously awaiting his comment.

He swallowed my cake...

"...delicious," he said.

I immediately withdrew my smile... I'm very happy... "Th-thank you... I tried really hard... I'm glad."

Praise from Akashi-kun is the best. It's very difficult to get praise from him. Even if I get a score of 90, he won't praise me until I get 100...

"Towel..."

"Towel?"

I raised an eyebrow... towel?

"Towel. You brought it, right? In your bag," he said.

Heeee... I know his eyes can predict the future, his instincts are like a psychic, but could he really predict a gift that I wrapped with gift paper inside my bag? That would be uncannily accurate.

I did give him a towel as a gift inside my bag! If he knew the color and size, it would be even more eerie.

"Towel, Maya. Didn't you hear what I said?"

I heard Akashi-kun mention the towel again.

Flustered, I immediately took the gift-wrapped towel from my bag. I had to give him this towel right away. After all, this towel was indeed a gift for him, so it belongs to him.

"Here..." I said, offering the towel to him.

Akashi-kun opened my gift... rather roughly.

I had wrapped it very carefully last night, but he tore it open in one go...

Haaah... typical guy... Why couldn't he be a bit gentler with my gift? I watched as the torn gift paper was discarded, feeling like my heart had been torn into pieces.

Well, in the end, that gift paper would only end up as trash. It couldn't be used again. What matters is the content of the gift, right?

Then look at that, Akashi-kun immediately used the towel I gave him to dry his hair, which was wet from being doused with mineral water earlier.

I observed his every move.

Oh my... he's so handsome... Oh God, my face is turning red. I'm embarrassed, even though everyone knows that Akashi-kun is very handsome. But because I'm in love with him, it definitely feels different, right?

"Just say what you want to say!" he said.

What does he mean? Why is he suddenly talking like that while I'm admiring his handsomeness?

Is he telling me to say something? Does he mean I should say that he looks very handsome with his tousled hair?

Oh dear... of course not, right? ... It's clearly impossible for me to say that to him! No way, even though I love him so much, even though everyone knows he's very handsome, I would never admit it directly to him! Especially in a situation like this. I'm afraid it would lead to a misunderstanding and damage our relationship.

So, what should I say if not about his current good looks that I'm admiring?

Akashi-kun only talks about important things. I know him very well. So, what should I say to him? About what?

Why is Akashi-kun looking at me now? Staring at me with those piercing eyes. Does that mean he's waiting for an answer from me? Is he genuinely interested in hearing what will come out of my mouth?

Why does he keep staring at me? Why did he stop drying his wet hair with my gift towel?

If he says something like this, does it mean he knows what I've been hiding?

I-I mean... he knows a lot, his instinctual abilities are terrifying. His intuition is equally terrifying.

Even though it's something difficult to understand, he's the first person to recognize the hidden talents of his basketball team members with just one look. That allows him to position his basketball team members according to their abilities. Even though he's a basketball captain, he has the skills of a coach.

Akashi-kun's talent is truly remarkable. But, is he using this instinct and intuition to guess what I'm currently hiding from him?

It can't be! He can't possibly know the feelings I've been hiding since middle school, right?

I've become an expert at hiding my feelings, and so far, I've always been safe without getting caught... It can't be read that easily!

Moreover, he and I have been together since childhood. Even though I've been harboring feelings for him, I've become very skilled at concealing them. Even until now, he has never suspected anything.

Isn't the love of our friendship enough to mask my romantic feelings for him? I'm sure he won't suspect the form of attention I give him. I've been attentive to him since childhood.

"Why are you silent?" Akashi-kun asked again.

"I..."

What does he mean? Honestly, I'm still confused by his words.

What does he want me to say to him? What does he want to hear from my lips? I've already wished him a happy birthday... isn't that the point?

Did my words of greeting fall short? Oh no... I forgot to express a wish!

Ah, it must be about that, right?

I quickly composed a sentence to express my wish to him on his birthday.

"I'm not like a child playing by the beach who accidentally finds a beautiful seashell, but Akashi-kun, you managed to turn that seashell into a beautiful piece of jewelry. It's so beautiful, like the masterpiece of a jewelry artist... Without your contributions since the beginning, I wouldn't be anything, I wouldn't be the person I am today... Happy birthday to my best friend, happy birthday Akashi Yuichirou!" I said.

He looked at me seriously... then smiled.

His smile looks suspicious. Don't tell me he's laughing at the painstakingly crafted sweet words I just said? 

I know my words might sound cheesy, but they genuinely come from my heart. I hope he's not making fun of them!

Huh...

But it seems he's not doing that. Akashi-kun isn't laughing at this overly sweet string of words.

"Is that all?" Akashi-kun asks.

Is that all? Why does he ask questions that require so much interpretation in the answer?

He's intelligent; he shouldn't burden someone far beneath him with mysterious questions! Oh my... he really confuses me.

Akashi-kun can be annoying sometimes...

"..."

I remain silent because I'm confused about what to say next.

Meanwhile, Akashi-kun continues to gaze at me intensely. He doesn't divert his gaze from me at all. His eyes demand an answer from me.

I usually avoid direct eye contact when he looks at me this intensely. Locking eyes with him directly feels like relaxing my muscles. Especially with a gaze this close... huh?

Close... since when did he get this close?

Uuuh...

I pray he backs off a little. It seems he's not aware that he's making my face flush. He keeps closing the distance between us, making my face grow increasingly warm.

"..."

God... why does he look so handsome in my eyes?

A man with his messy hair, thin lips, straight nose, eyes, forehead... I... I... I truly love him...

"I Love You," I say.

Click...

Huh?

Those words just came out of my mouth...

I immediately cover my mouth with both hands.

How could I blurt that out without thinking, huh?

Why did I slip like this?

Oh my God...

What have I said? I've always regarded "I love you" as the most sacred words in my life! How could I say it so casually when I've been keeping it a secret from him? What's the point of hiding it if I end up blurting it out without any restraint?

I turn my face away... I'm so embarrassed...

How could I let this slip like that?

Oh God... what have I done? Stupid mouth!

He must be very angry, right? He always says that love hinders him. If I suddenly tell him that I love him, won't my feelings also hinder him?

"..."

Stupid, stupid, stupid! I'm so dumb!

I try to summon the courage to sneak a peek at him, but immediately turn away again...

Continuously like that... glancing a little, avoiding eye contact.

He remains silent. Akashi-kun hasn't shown any response after hearing my unintentional confession of love in English.

He must be furious with me! I'm sure of it!

I can't allow this to be left as is.

I have to do something so he won't be angry with me. It would be very awkward if we have a gap, and that gap will only create awkwardness between the two of us.

"Uhm, Akashi-kun... please, forget everything I just said, okay? ...haha... I was just joking... Yes, just joking, you know... h-hahaha..." I stutter.

I'm doomed! I'm terrible at acting! I don't have the ability to act this quickly.

Huh?

What's this?

What's Akashi-kun doing?

Akashi-kun tries to touch my cheek and makes me look at his face...

Huh?

"..."

Akashi-kun's face is very close to mine!

Ugh... my cheeks are burning because of his actions. I'm sure my fair complexion allows Akashi-kun to see the reddish hue on both my cheeks.

Embarrassing...

B-But this is beyond my control. My face turns red because of my own desires. I can't do anything to stop it.

Truly, what Akashi-kun is doing right now is making me melt.

"Look at me, Maya!" Akashi-kun says. "I feel like you've never really looked at me..."

"..."

It's you who never really looked at me properly, Akashi-kun! Really, it's you! ... I can feel it... and it's painful for me... But you're saying it's me who can't look at you properly. Sadly, I can't protest to you.

I finally muster the courage to look at him as he wishes.

"..."

Slowly, I open my eyes, feeling embarrassed and with my heart pounding.

I manage to look at this man... Trying to gaze at him properly, as he wants...

Ah...

Akashi-kun's hands were very cold... Their chill was noticeable on the surface of my cheek. However, I could feel the warmth of his breath. A breath that didn't smell of bad breath at all.

"Say again what you just said!" Akashi-kun commands me.

This is clearly about the "I love you" that I blurted out earlier, right? Of course, I understand which words Akashi-kun is referring to. I'm not so foolish that I can't comprehend his statement.

Do I really need to say it again to him? Do I need to tell him that I love him?

I start thinking about my conversation with Risa-chan and Shuhei-kun earlier. Both of them are close friends of mine, and even though I pretended not to understand, I knew what they meant.

Risa-chan and Shuhei-kun knew I had feelings for Akashi-kun, and they supported and encouraged me to be honest with him.

Could today, this moment, be my chance? Is God giving me an opportunity to confess my feelings to Akashi-kun after keeping them silent for so long?

Well...

Maybe I'm a coward, but I don't want to be a coward forever. I realize that now.

How long am I going to keep running away? Perhaps this is indeed the best time to express my feelings...

As I mentioned before, God has given me an opportunity, and with a little courage, the outcome could change. Just like Risa-chan anda Shuhei-kun said.

I'll never know if I don't try...

If Akashi-kun ends up hating me after this, it's okay. I'll still be his friend even if he doesn't want to acknowledge me anymore. It's painful, but it's one of the risks I have to bear.

I've actually grown tired of harboring this one-sided love for him all this time... I know what it feels like to be hurt while hiding your feelings. I know what it feels like to act casual when I'm deeply in love. So, I think I can anticipate the pain I'll experience if he rejects my feelings.

"Akashi-kun... I've loved you for a long time... always. I've always loved you, Akashi-kun..."

Ah, I've finally confessed my feelings, and of course, Akashi-kun remains silent. I expected as much.

"..."

Well, I might as well release all the feelings I've kept inside for so long. Pour them out until I'm satisfied and don't need to say anything more to him.

"I've loved you for so long, and that feeling has never changed. Instead, my feelings for you have grown bigger every day."

"..."

"Bigger and bigger..."

"..."

"I've been trying so hard to keep it down, to suppress it deep in my heart so it wouldn't come out. I was afraid of damaging our friendship that has been there since childhood just because of my one-sided love."

"..."

"But..."

"..."

"But now, I don't have the strength to hide it anymore. The ever-increasing pile of feelings is beyond my control. I admit it, I'm revealing my feelings to you directly... I love you so much..."

"..."

"Forgive me, Akashi-kun... I know this isn't the right time. I'm already grateful that you're my friend... But I'm too selfish, too selfish, and I hope we can date..."

I cried and concluded my honesty.

Finally, the words I've kept inside for so long have come out of my mouth. Although I don't know how it will end, I feel relieved. It's like a million-ton burden has disappeared from my chest. It allows me to breathe properly again.

"I'm sorry for being selfish..." I add as the end of all my confessions.

Huh?... Akashi-kun immediately pulls me into his embrace.

Is he apologizing while hugging me?

Even though we're hugging while sitting on the wooden floor, I can still feel the warmth of his embrace.

"..."

What's happening?

I'm still very surprised by this sudden action of his.

Akashi-kun is hugging me?

HUGGING ME!

Why is he doing this?

Ahhh... is this what it feels like to be hugged by a beloved friend?

His broad chest... His typical masculine back...

Warm... I feel his body's warmth...

And also... the scent of sweat and the smell of his damp hair... unique... it's not like the usual unpleasant odor that makes your stomach turn...

It's enticing... I like it... I like it very much...

I continued to cry in his embrace...

"I love you so much, Akashi-kun..." I reiterate my feelings to Akashi-kun.

I hope for a lot, I just want to say it again.

"I love you too..."

Huh?

Does that mean Akashi-kun loves me too?

I start crying again...

Can I hope for more from his words right now?

If so, then... truly... I am one of the happiest women in the world.

I don't know if his words are serious or not... all I know is that Akashi-kun is someone who carefully chooses his words. Unfortunately, I want to ask more, but my lips are having a hard time because I keep crying.

So, I just grip his sports shirt tightly.

Akashi-kun doesn't stay silent. This handsome man responds by hugging me even tighter.

I really love hugging him.

"I love you too, Maya..."

Ah, Akashi-kun clarifies his statement. He apparently has the same feelings as me!

God... if this is just a dream, please... don't wake me up... I want to stay like this forever.

"Happy birthday, Akashi-kun," I say again.

"Can I...?"

I smile... "Yes, y-yes..."

I'm happy, very happy...

After this, he and I will discuss many things about our story. We'll leave school holding hands. We'll go on dates like any normal couple.

What Risa-my close friend said is true, with a little courage, something can change.

I've cast aside some of my fears, prepared myself for the worst, and now I can smile with happiness. What I was afraid of didn't happen. My long-repressed love has received a response.

I should be even more grateful after this.

"Do you want to kiss?" Akashi-kun asks.

"Huh?"

I reflexively push his broad chest that's embracing me.

"That's too soon, Akashi-kun!" I scold him.

END OF MAYA'S POV