My Best Friend, My First Love

MAYA'S POV

I looked at the clock, then I looked at it again. Again and again. It's been several times, hasn't it? Ah... I forgot to count... besides, it's been so many times...

I glanced back at the classroom door. Empty...

Empty, no one there...

I sighed deeply... Bored...

What time is it now? How long have I been waiting here?

The orange sky started to appear... Beautiful... its light shining through the glass window of my classroom. Though faint, it's exactly that, the beauty of the winter sun... It's already winter, but... the snow hasn't fallen yet, even though the air is getting colder...

Hah... haah... haaah... I watched both... It's so cold.

Should I wear gloves? It seems like that's all I can do to protect myself... huhu. It's so cold... Luckily, I brought my coat today...

A little before five in the evening, out of boredom, I tried to go find him... But before that, I had to go to my locker to change my shoes and put on my coat...

Arriving at my locker, I opened it slowly. I saw a photo I had stuck on the locker door a long time ago. A nostalgic photo from the past. Back then... a photo from junior high school graduation. In the photo, there were about 30 students with various expressions. Some were laughing, smiling, cool, pretending to be cute, funny, and also... charismatic... It was such a beautiful time. Except, I didn't seem to have much expression. If I could go back in time, I would want to curl the corners of my lips... I'm sure I would leave a much better impression... Almost all my classmates from junior high have this photo...

Thinking back to that time, I feel like screaming. I had a not-so-good story back then... It's really sad... I've liked him for so long, but even now, I still can't bring myself to confess...

Liking a king is the craziest thing I've ever done... I'm just a commoner with feelings for him. However, I can assure you that my feelings are very sincere. I guarantee it's more than 120%...

A king who has everything. Handsome, wealthy, and accomplished... Yes, he has everything... very different from me, who had to work very hard just to make it into the top 5 at school. Studying at school and at home wasn't enough. I took many extra lessons outside just so I could be with him... I even tried to become the best woman I could be... I grew out my hair, I changed my once heavy tomboyish nature into a much more graceful one...

The truth is... despite all my efforts... up until this moment... he has never looked my way... let alone that, he has never really looked at me, even for a moment...

Why am I blaming him? The one at fault here is me... I've never told him how I feel... not at all... I've always kept it to myself...

Hoping that one day he'll understand me? It seems impossible... there are so many things on his mind... love is something that never crosses it... I remember, there was a younger student who confessed her feelings to him, and he rejected her... and that was so cruel... he said that love would only hinder him in life... even though the girl was very beautiful. Much more beautiful than me...

I, who accidentally overheard it, could only hold back tears... even though those words of rejection weren't for me, I shared the same feelings as that girl. If I did the same thing, he would surely do the same to me too...

I'm too scared to hear it directly from his lips...

I imagine and let my feelings stay within my heart... Let it be... let me enjoy this one-sided love story... even though it's unbearably painful... I'll bear it... isn't love a beautiful wound?

How foolish...

The truth is, I want to suffer because of it...

***

I wiped his handsome face in the photo... next to it was my photo... I remember trying to act normal when standing beside him like that... No one should know about my feelings, including him...

Thinking about my feelings for him... I want to cry...

Hiks...

My tears fell as well... I'm a very emotional person... and I'm used to being hurt, tears are not new in my life... keeping these feelings since junior high school, and now I'm in high school, am I foolish?

Hoping for something uncertain...

Let it be... I'm trapped in this slavery...

I shifted my gaze to the contents of my locker. I saw a box with a soft floral pattern inside my locker. The box wasn't too big. It contained a birthday cake I had been working on all night. I failed multiple times, but in the end, I succeeded in making it. A beautiful birthday cake dominated by sweet chocolate... you could say it's a birthday cake... I intend to give him this cake... yes... today, December 20th... it's his birthday...

He and I have been friends since childhood. Our families are close friends. The only difference is, his family is one of the richest in Japan. Whereas my family, we are comfortable but not as wealthy as his. I grew up with him... I also gradually noticed the changes in him. Especially since his mother passed away. I could see his eyes growing colder... I saw his true self disappearing... I saw everything... even though I'm close to him, I can't do much. I'm busy with my love for him... am I really selfish?

As a good friend, I should act like one, right?

People think I'm very lucky because I can always be with him... we go to school together and return home together... I'm the only woman who can be with him for a long time... even so, it's not easy around him... it's not easy for someone like me who is harboring these feelings...

In the past few years, I decided to be his support... I accompany him no matter what... even when he turns into a stranger, I dare to stay by his side... he looks very strong, but I know... deep inside, he's very fragile... I want to be the first person he seeks when he needs help, but... even though I know he's fragile... he... he always stands on his own two feet... with his absolute motto...

It's okay... even if he sees me as a walking statue... I don't mind... my feelings for him will remain the same... even if he never acknowledges my existence, I will still love him...

I intend to take the T-shirt I had put in my locker. The shirt was underneath the cake box... I lifted the cake box slightly and grabbed the T-shirt. I heard a unique sound when the paper touched my hand... oh... I just remembered that I also brought a gift for him today... it's nothing special, just a small plain white towel... not a luxurious or expensive gift, he prefers practical gifts... As a friend, it's become a routine for me that on his birthday, I always make him a cake and give him a gift... yes... even though he doesn't like sweets, he still makes time to enjoy them... even if it doesn't taste good, he's still willing to try it... I'm very happy when I remember that...

I can't wait for later...

Will he tell me if it doesn't taste good like in previous years? Well... I did my best... he's the kind of person who values his own creations... that's what I really like about him... I'm motivated to be the best and better...

My best friend, my first love.

***MAYA'S POV

I looked at the clock, then I looked at it again. Again and again. It's been several times, hasn't it? Ah... I forgot to count... besides, it's been so many times...

I glanced back at the classroom door. Empty...

Empty, no one there...

I sighed deeply... Bored...

What time is it now? How long have I been waiting here?

The orange sky started to appear... Beautiful... its light shining through the glass window of my classroom. Though faint, it's exactly that, the beauty of the winter sun... It's already winter, but... the snow hasn't fallen yet, even though the air is getting colder...

Hah... haah... haaah... I watched both... It's so cold.

Should I wear gloves? It seems like that's all I can do to protect myself... huhu. It's so cold... Luckily, I brought my coat today...

A little before five in the evening, out of boredom, I tried to go find him... But before that, I had to go to my locker to change my shoes and put on my coat...

Arriving at my locker, I opened it slowly. I saw a photo I had stuck on the locker door a long time ago. A nostalgic photo from the past. Back then... a photo from junior high school graduation. In the photo, there were about 30 students with various expressions. Some were laughing, smiling, cool, pretending to be cute, funny, and also... charismatic... It was such a beautiful time. Except, I didn't seem to have much expression. If I could go back in time, I would want to curl the corners of my lips... I'm sure I would leave a much better impression... Almost all my classmates from junior high have this photo...

Thinking back to that time, I feel like screaming. I had a not-so-good story back then... It's really sad... I've liked him for so long, but even now, I still can't bring myself to confess...

Liking a king is the craziest thing I've ever done... I'm just a commoner with feelings for him. However, I can assure you that my feelings are very sincere. I guarantee it's more than 120%...

A king who has everything. Handsome, wealthy, and accomplished... Yes, he has everything... very different from me, who had to work very hard just to make it into the top 5 at school. Studying at school and at home wasn't enough. I took many extra lessons outside just so I could be with him... I even tried to become the best woman I could be... I grew out my hair, I changed my once heavy tomboyish nature into a much more graceful one...

The truth is... despite all my efforts... up until this moment... he has never looked my way... let alone that, he has never really looked at me, even for a moment...

Why am I blaming him? The one at fault here is me... I've never told him how I feel... not at all... I've always kept it to myself...

Hoping that one day he'll understand me? It seems impossible... there are so many things on his mind... love is something that never crosses it... I remember, there was a younger student who confessed her feelings to him, and he rejected her... and that was so cruel... he said that love would only hinder him in life... even though the girl was very beautiful. Much more beautiful than me...

I, who accidentally overheard it, could only hold back tears... even though those words of rejection weren't for me, I shared the same feelings as that girl. If I did the same thing, he would surely do the same to me too...

I'm too scared to hear it directly from his lips...

I imagine and let my feelings stay within my heart... Let it be... let me enjoy this one-sided love story... even though it's unbearably painful... I'll bear it... isn't love a beautiful wound?

How foolish...

The truth is, I want to suffer because of it...

***

I wiped his handsome face in the photo... next to it was my photo... I remember trying to act normal when standing beside him like that... No one should know about my feelings, including him...

Thinking about my feelings for him... I want to cry...

Hiks...

My tears fell as well... I'm a very emotional person... and I'm used to being hurt, tears are not new in my life... keeping these feelings since junior high school, and now I'm in high school, am I foolish?

Hoping for something uncertain...

Let it be... I'm trapped in this slavery...

I shifted my gaze to the contents of my locker. I saw a box with a soft floral pattern inside my locker. The box wasn't too big. It contained a birthday cake I had been working on all night. I failed multiple times, but in the end, I succeeded in making it. A beautiful birthday cake dominated by sweet chocolate... you could say it's a birthday cake... I intend to give him this cake... yes... today, December 20th... it's his birthday...

He and I have been friends since childhood. Our families are close friends. The only difference is, his family is one of the richest in Japan. Whereas my family, we are comfortable but not as wealthy as his. I grew up with him... I also gradually noticed the changes in him. Especially since his mother passed away. I could see his eyes growing colder... I saw his true self disappearing... I saw everything... even though I'm close to him, I can't do much. I'm busy with my love for him... am I really selfish?

As a good friend, I should act like one, right?

People think I'm very lucky because I can always be with him... we go to school together and return home together... I'm the only woman who can be with him for a long time... even so, it's not easy around him... it's not easy for someone like me who is harboring these feelings...

In the past few years, I decided to be his support... I accompany him no matter what... even when he turns into a stranger, I dare to stay by his side... he looks very strong, but I know... deep inside, he's very fragile... I want to be the first person he seeks when he needs help, but... even though I know he's fragile... he... he always stands on his own two feet... with his absolute motto...

It's okay... even if he sees me as a walking statue... I don't mind... my feelings for him will remain the same... even if he never acknowledges my existence, I will still love him...

I intend to take the T-shirt I had put in my locker. The shirt was underneath the cake box... I lifted the cake box slightly and grabbed the T-shirt. I heard a unique sound when the paper touched my hand... oh... I just remembered that I also brought a gift for him today... it's nothing special, just a small plain white towel... not a luxurious or expensive gift, he prefers practical gifts... As a friend, it's become a routine for me that on his birthday, I always make him a cake and give him a gift... yes... even though he doesn't like sweets, he still makes time to enjoy them... even if it doesn't taste good, he's still willing to try it... I'm very happy when I remember that...

I can't wait for later...

Will he tell me if it doesn't taste good like in previous years? Well... I did my best... he's the kind of person who values his own creations... that's what I really like about him... I'm motivated to be the best and better...

My best friend, my first love.

***