It takes a real man to be a feminist (Ares being the only decent man in this pantheon)

If any of you are familiar with Greek Mythology, you'll notice that women are treated...subpar at best. Let's just say that if you had the choice of being a man or a woman in Ancient Greece, the smart choice would be a man because at least you would probably have a higher chance at survival. Women in Ancient Greece were treated terribly. Why? I have no clue. You would think that having a pantheon that had goddesses would have pushed Ancient Greece to treat women better, but I guess not. 

Unlike newer religions today, religions that are older don't reflect what is ideal. They just reflect the reality of said culture. Ancient Greece was horrible towards women so their mythology reflected this. Mostly kidnapping women. Like Helen of Troy. Or you know, the extensive list of "Lovers" of Olympic gods. Note that a lot of those "lovers" were more like victims trying to outrun their perpetrators. 

*Cough* *Cough* Most Olympian Gods *Cough* *Cough*

Yes, even Zeus. I know he's painted in a holy light because he's the King of Gods and what not but he's honestly one of the worse ones.

Since most of our sources come from Athens, who were heavily biased, their narratives of other gods may not be the exact truth. Also Athens was infamously sexist towards women. Every city in Greece had their own gods that they liked, so, of course, their stories would change based on their audience. 

"How come you just don't look at the original sources?" You may ask. It's because we don't have those. Either those records were only known to secret cult members, their stories were passed down orally or those records have just been destroyed. So there is no point of finding a 'true story.' Stories change with their culture overtime, so it's useless.

Back to Athens, their patron goddess is Athena. Goddess of wisdom, the arts, battle tactics, weaving, and war. She's also one of the 3 virgin goddesses, the other two being Artemis and Hestia. Olympus also has another war god, Ares. He is generally the less liked war god out of the two. It's assumed  he's the disliked one because he represents the brutality of war while Athena represents the better parts of war. You know, war prizes and battle tactics.

Athens loved Athena, but they hated Ares. That doesn't mean Ares was hated everywhere though. Sparta and the Amazons loved him. But since Athens hated him, he had to embody all the bad qualities that a person could have. Impulsiveness, violence, recklessness, and the biggest sin of all..um.. respecting women???

No, you read that correctly, being respectful to women was considered a bad trait to have. Interesting because Athena is their patron goddess but whatever. 

Notably, Ares was the only male Olympian to have never taken advantage of a woman, if anything he's seen time and time again protecting women. He's seen defending his mother, Hera a lot. He's also the Consort of Aphrodite, and Otera, queen of the Amazons. So, he's got a resume full of respecting women. Good on him, especially considering his mother is the goddess of women.

The most famous story being him defending Alcippe from Halirrhothius. Yes, I did have to double check whether I spelled his name right.

Anyway, what you need to know is that Alcippe is a daughter of Ares. Halirrhothius decides he wants to have sex with her. But Alcippe doesn't want anything to do with him. We have a term for this, it's called NON CONSENSUAL TOUCHING.I want you dear students to know that Halirrhothius is in the wrong. No ifs or buts. 

Unfortunately, he just doesn't get what the word no means, so he tries to take advantage of Alcippe. She responds by calling her father's name, Ares. Now when Ares gets summoned, he is livid. Understandably so. Ares might be an asshole sometimes, but he's a good dad who will protect his kids. His response to this is to brutally murder Halirrhothius to protect his daughter. As he should.

Ares is definitely getting Father of the Year award for this because he seems to be one of the only non-deadbeat dads in this whole pantheon.

After the whole murdering ordeal, someone is pissed. Poseidon. Now here's where Halirrhothius parentage is important. He is the demigod son of Poseidon. Now, Poseidon is mad because Ares killed his son directly, so Ares is put on trial for murder.  

Now, dare I say that Poseidon, dude. You have a lot and I mean a lot of  kids. So it wouldn't  be too bad if one of the worse ones died, right? I mean, just make another kid. Duh. But Poseidon doesn't think so.

Ares is later put on trial for murder. His trial was held in Athens. Fun fact, Ares was the only god to have ever been put on trial. Eventually, the 12 Olympians (sometimes 13 because of the whole Dionysus and Hestia situation.) acquit Ares of his crime.

Now, I wouldn't say he commited a crime. I mean you don't put someone on trial for putting down a dog, right?

That's how the myth ends. What did we learn today, students? Well, this is Greek mythology, nobody ever learns any lessons here, but despite his brutish nature, he does pull through for the women in his life.

Oh right. Another thing. 

CONSENT IS IMPORTANT YOU WEIRDOS.

That's the end of my lecture of mythology today. If there's any myth you'd like for me to retell here, just leave a comment below. Bye, bye. Join me for another class the next time I post.

(Why is this pantheon so fucking weird?)