1

*ring* *ring* *ring* *click*

“Hello?” Tony said, rubbing his eyes with a hand. He had been sound asleep in his room for a long time before the unexpected call in the middle of the night.

“Hello? Who is this?” He asked again, waiting for a reply.

“...Tony?” Jocilyn’s voice came through softly. Tony quickly sat up as he tried shaking away his drowsiness.

“Jocilyn? Is everything alright? It’s half-past two in the morning.” Tony noticed after glancing at his digital alarm clock. Jocilyn had told him before that she often had trouble sleeping ever since she was brought to the hospital but tonight was the first time she ever called him.

“I’m… I’m so tired.” Jocilyn whispered after another brief moment of silence.

“Did you take any of the sleep aids they provided? I know you don’t like them but sleep is very important.” Tony suggested. He heard Jocilyn exhale lightly.

“I just want to give up.” She said softly before going quiet again. Tony slowly processed what Jocilyn just stated, his mind fighting against fatigue.

“Give up? Jocilyn, what do you mean?” Tony asked, holding his phone closer to his ear.

“I just don’t want to anymore,” Jocilyn ignored his question. “Everything is so tiring. I don’t want to…”

“Jocilyn, answer me, please.” Tony’s hand began trembling slightly as he heard a familiar phrase. He had repeatedly kept that thought in his mind for years, dealing with the issue himself. Tony listened closely as he hoped it wasn’t what he thought it was.

“Are you okay? What’s going on?” He asked again, a bit louder this time.

“My mom didn’t want me. My dad has to work so hard because of me.” Jocilyn continued to speak as if she couldn’t hear Tony’s voice.

“I want to disappear.”

Upon hearing Jocilyn’s voice whispering that sentence, Tony froze as his mind went quiet for a split second.

“No!” Tony immediately pulled off the blanket covering him as he jumped out of bed as his mind started to spin.

“Jocilyn! What are you saying?!” He began yelling. Tony rushed out of his room heading towards the front door.

“A bitter truth,” Jocilyn replied calmly. Tony rushed out of the house, barely slipping on his shoes. Large gray clouds hung above in the sky as rain fell.

“I was an unexpected burden,” Jocilyn recalled what her mother had said to her over the phone the last time they talked. Jocilyn was an unplanned child. Her mother wanted completely nothing to do with her.

“You’re not a burden!” Tony shouted, his feet creating loud splashes as he ran down the dark empty night streets. Jocilyn, on the other side, gently closed her eyes as she shook her head.

“My father gave up everything just to raise me.” She let out a small ironic laugh. “I often returned home finding him passed out on the couch from drinking, whispering many things I all remember."

“Jocilyn, please listen to yourself!” Tony pleaded, his breath becoming louder as the heavy spring rain poured over him. “You’re only seeing a certain part from the whole!”

“You know, even once I’m discharged from the hospital, I’ll just have to return to that same awful life of mine.” Jocilyn pushed open her room door and slowly walked out.

“I pity my father, I really do.” She sniffled a bit, walking down the quiet hospital corridor. “Despite all he does for me, I can never do enough to pay him back. Not even enough for half the things.”

“He does those things because he loves you!” Tony stated, his hair now completely soaked along with his clothes as he continued to run.

“He would have done so much better without me.” Jocilyn corrected him. “He and mom could be together, happy again. Like in their photos.” She pushed open another door and entered, glancing up to stare at the several flights of stairs.

“Why are you blaming yourself?! It’s not your fault!” Tony reminded her. A car zoomed past in front of him as he tried crossing the street, barely missing him in the heavy downpour.

“It is,” Jocilyn replied. “There were so many chances I could have just run away, or convinced dad to go back to her whenever he was unsure. I just didn’t do it. I didn’t want to do it.”

“What about Percy?!” Tony shouted out the young boy’s name. “Where would he be right now without you?!” There was no immediate reply as Tony finished his sentence before taking another large breath.

“Percival's a strong person. You know that.” Jocilyn finally replied, smiling gently over the phone. “He's a young delinquent who can hold his own.” Tony clenched his teeth as he wiped his face.

“If that were the case, then why did you help him?” He passed through a set of sliding doors and quickly rushed inside the building, continuing to run. A receptionist saw him and called out but Tony ignored what the person had to say.

“It sure is pouring out there.” Jocilyn ignored the question, staring outside after arriving at the top of the last staircase. She peered through the small square window on the metal door that led out to the hospital’s roof.

“Do you think I’ll catch a cold?” She gently joked, placing a hand on the door handle. The muffled pattering erupted loudly now that Jocilyn had pulled open the door.

“Jocilyn, you’re still ill! Don’t go outside!” Tony screamed, hearing the rainfall through the call as he turned around another corner trying to find her.

“Hey, Tony?” Jocilyn whispered his name. “Remember that afternoon? One of our little study sessions?” She slowly walked across the rooftop, the rain now soaking her long black hair.

“I hadn’t expected anything different to occur at all that day. It was supposed to be just another tiring lesson like the others.” Jocilyn reminisced, a calm smile on her face.

“Was it you who moved first? Or was it me? I can’t remember.” She placed two fingers gently over her lips.

“I think I understand now.” She closed her eyes and raised her head towards the dark sky, recalling the memory. They had both leaned in close that day in Jocilyn’s room, staring at each other’s eyes in silence. They both had the same thought in their minds.

“I understand why we stopped,” Jocilyn concluded. They had gotten close less than an inch away, but they didn’t touch. Jocilyn glanced back down as she reached her destination. She brought her phone down from her ear and close to her mouth so she couldn’t hear anything more her best friend had to say.

“Thank you, Tony.” She whispered sincerely into her phone. Whether Tony was yelling at her or not, she knew he heard her message. Jocilyn's finger hovered over the red button before ending the call.

Tony Jilo. Such a unique boy. To have captured her attention and taught her so much. To understand many parts of her and be one she trusted with her past. Her first acquaintance, her first best friend, and her first love. Jocilyn smiled.

“I’ll never forget that special moment I shared with you.”