Twenty – Silver Snow

October 27, 2017. Friday.

I instinctively woke up at 6 in the morning because I need to prepare breakfast, then dress up for school. I would be late if I don’t get up quickly.

No, shut up.

I’m not going to repeat what I said on the first chapter. But once again, I woke up in a very unusual time. It’s currently 4am and for some reason, I’m shaking because of how cold it is.

I got up with my blanket still on my shoulders and looked at the window.

“Yuki…

Phone… where is my phone…”

I took my phone from the bedside table and called the first number in my speed dial, which is Rin.

“Please answer… just this once…”

“Hello… Gin…

Why call so early…?”

“Sorry to interrupt your sleep, Rin. Can you just look outside for a minute? Also, wrap yourself with your blanket otherwise you’ll feel how cold it is. You can continue sleeping after this.”

“I’m here in front of the window… Gin…”

She went to the window facing my window instead of the other one where she can look at the street.

“I guess our windows will do.

Open your eyes wide, Rin. Surprise.”

“Uhh…

Huh? Snow…? This is the first time, right?”

“Yeah, but to think that it will snow in such a country…

This is very unprecedented.”

It seems that she still doesn’t have the energy to be surprised. It’s my fault for waking her up this early. But I bet she’ll make a fuss over this later.

“It’s really getting cold, Rin. You should close your window now.”

“You’re right… Goodnight again, Gin.”

“Night.”

~ ~ ~

Well, what do you expect? I landed straight to bed because it’s cold and very cozy. And after four hours, I woke up with snow still falling from the sky.

Now that I recall, I don’t have any classes today so forget about the nonsense I said earlier.

If I have to guess, today is just a laid-back one. Yeah, it’s laid back but you can’t swipe away the fact that I have to go to the wake of a classmate who passed away yesterday. Some people might say that happiness is not infinite—but so is sadness.

“I need to make coffee…”

As I’m pouring hot water to my mug, I heard a knock on the front door.

“Coming…

…

Mikasa?! Oh, Rin. Doing cosplay?”

“Good morning, Gin.”

At first look, Rin looked like a half-Asian Ackerman. But a plain red scarf really suits her.

“Come in. I don’t want you to get cold.

I just turned the heater on so bear with it for a little longer.”

“I suppose you just woke up?”

“Yeah, I just finished making breakfast. What about you, have you already eaten?”

“I did before going here.”

“Man, it will be harder to go shopping now. And with this weather, I’m not sure how much rice I can eat in a week.”

I sat on the couch with Rin while putting down the mug full of piping hot coffee and two layers of pancakes. I then took the remote control and turned the TV on in the news covering the weather.

“Just yesterday, we covered the news about the third early snowfall in Japan in the North and now here in Orio, we are experiencing snow for the first time in the history of our country!

This is truly an amazing sight to see at the highest point of Orio.”

“Hehh… They’re fussing too much about the first snowfall. But I wonder what is happening. Since August, the temperature constantly dropped down and now it’s snowing here.”

“Let’s just leave that to the knowledgeable ones to know what caused this.

By the way, what time are we going to Akaji’s place?”

“About that… Akira said that the principal will be picking up all of us with their car after lunch.

Oh hey, look. The road in the live video is so white.”

“I wonder if we can have a snowball fight.”

“Let the snow go down more and we’ll see about that. I want to try my pitching skills.”

“Now, now. Don’t go overboard, Gin.”

“I still have a lot of flour… Oh, I still have pork stored.

It’s really cold so a hot food will be really good. Hey, Rin. Are you in for a Mala Ramen later?”

“Ohh… I’m in, I’m definitely in.”

“I guess I know what we’ll have for lunch. We better prepare to blow a lot of smoke.”

~ ~ ~

12:35pm. Akira knocked on my door, ready to pick us up to go to Akaji’s wake in their place.

“Gin! You better be quick because it’s really cold!”

“Awwight, we’we cowwing. (Alright, we’re coming.)”

“Huh, what the heck… Why does Gin sound like that?

I opened the door and saw Akira with a black car behind him. The cold breeze quickly came inside of the house so I let Rin go outside first then quickly locked and closed the front door.

My word… the breeze makes my lip sting…

“Uhh… Why are the two of you…

No, why do you sound like some old man earlier?”

“Ah, thwat. Win and I just ate a wewy swicy wamen fwor lunch and we kind ow buwnt ouw wouth.

(Ah that. Rin and I just ate a very spicy ramen for lunch and we kind of burnt our mouth.)”

“I guess that makes sense because it’s cold. Awyways- Ah! Anyways, let’s go inside the car, you two.”

We reached Akaji’s house after a thirty-minute drive. If not for the traffic because of the snow, we would be there in just fifteen minutes.

There are a lot of people in his wake but only one person is standing in front of the coffin. I walked towards that person and placed my hand on his shoulder.

“Murasaki…”

“Gin… So you came…

I’ve already talked to the three of them yesterday. It will be really hard for me to forgive them right now.”

“I’m sure you’ll forgive them at some point in time. That’s what Akaji wanted, after all.”

I walked closer to the casket to see Akaji who is lying inside up close.

“Akaji… I’m sorry that we can’t save you. But I know that your last breath weren’t in vain. I’m just sad that you won’t witness the change of your classmates. You’ve manage to live with strength in this cruel and unjust world. You truly are a man I look up to.

Well then, sleep well, class president.”

I took a picture frame that I placed under the coffin and placed it beside a picture of him. It was a portrait of Akaji painted in a medium sized canvas and below there is a message saying:

“Always do what is right, and it will show you the light.”

It came from a poem he wrote that took the highest mark in our class. The poem is very inspiring and it feels as though he wrote it as a message for us.

“A journey, huh…”

~ ~ ~

After coming to Akaji’s wake, Akira asked Tenth to drop us in Zen Park and come to the lake inside of the park.

Just last week, the leaves were just falling down, but all of the trees are bare and white now. The quantity of people also decreased with the sudden fall of snow.

“Hey, Akira. What’s up?”

“Oh, nothing really. It’s just this is the second time that I am standing here in front of the lake not being alone.

I always come to this lake to think through my problems. It’s so peaceful whenever I came here. When I thought that it’s about time for me to give up, I realized that I still have my friends even though I showed them a mask of mine. Then, a few weeks ago, I came here once again… but with my parents, for a change.

That is why in this place, I want to thank all of you for being here with me until today.”

He turned around and bowed in front of us to show his sincerest expression of gratitude.

“Hey, now. Lift your head, Akira. This isn’t Japan, you know. Just simply saying thank you is enough.”

“Jean… You just destroyed my moment…”

“No one cares.”

“Pfft…”

Nagi straightened up his back and looked at Shiro. They took two steps forward starting from both of their right foot with a subtle but bright smile on their face.

“The last time I went here, it was so windy and the leaves from the trees were still falling tirelessly. Who would have thought that from a mere coincidence, it came to this situation now…”

“A few days ago, it was like nothing is really going to happen. But to think that I met him accidentally for three times in just a day, I thought it was just a simple coincidence.

So I came here without any real reason, hoping- No… I ‘wished’ to see him here. I simply stood in front of a tree while the leaves were falling down to the ground. That was the time where I was shown that our accidental meetings weren’t probably a coincidence. I don’t know what it is, but it’s all about the things that lie ahead of us.”

“’What if the world is always like this?’ It’s what I asked myself in that day. I have come to the realization that even though this world now is in a very miserable state, its beauty has not yet vanished.

It all finally came back to me as to why I chose to draw—it is for me to visualize how I envisioned this world is. And what I envisioned came true.”

“I was, and Nagi was also standing in one place. At both sides of the path, we just stared at each other, and for some reason, we both cried.”

“And then I walked towards her, and professed my love to her.

Gin, I asked you once, and then the answer you gave me is that we won’t know when something will come to us. You were right, and even though you insisted that you’re not that much of a help, your existence itself helped me a whole lot.

Seriously… Thank you very much, Gin.”

Nagi stepped back and grabbed my right hand just to get my pointer finger. I honestly didn’t know what he’s about to do.

But he folded in my finger and slowly pushed it with a little bit of strength until it made a popping sound.

“Haha…

Nagi. That won’t make me show some kind of creepy and predatory organ from my back or make my eyes red.

Well, I can project it as blue, though.”

He then released my hand and went back beside Shiro.

A slight wind came from the direction of the lake that made me look onto the reflected image of the lightly clouded cerulean sky.

“I really wished I was there when you both saw the falling of the leaves. I bet it was breathtaking.

But it’s quite surprising that those mere words helped you. Now I feel really happy to hear someone thank me.”

“Thank you for everything, Gin.”

Just as I stopped talking, the weak, but soothing voice of Rin sounded and amplified right through my ears like it brought me back to the time when I told her about everything.

“If not because of you… if we didn’t sit on that table, I probably may not be how I am right now. How I behaved, how I act, how I speak… Those moments may not be written in our history if you weren’t there.

Yes, your principle of Minimal Exposure removes your presence in a place, but it makes way for us to see you better.

Also, sometimes I ask myself. ‘What would I become if I didn’t meet Gin in that school, or anywhere?’ I actually don’t know. I do not know if I can laugh like this everyday if not because of that person. I don’t know if I will have this lot of friends after I moved here.

And I do not know… if I will love someone other than you if you’re not here.”

With her very unusually warm hand in the middle of the newly existing winter season, it came in contact with my right hand that had been fighting the cold air.

As she squeezes my hand with the warmth of hers, all of the conflicting thoughts lingering inside my head slowly faded away until they were all gone.

“Thanks, Rin.”

I asked her to release my hand with a small gesture from the hand she’s holding. She immediately released after she felt the movements of my hand.

I raised my right arm and placed it on the right side of her head and gently titled it to rest her head on my shoulders.

“Thank you, Rin.”

I once again thanked her not for releasing my hand but for an entirely different reason.

“We all have our reasons to thank each other. But I especially wanted to thank you, Rin, for accepting, listening, and staying with me. All this time I had been a total mess, and I tried to hide it all from you.

I went out of the Void with a refined and changed being, but I didn’t realize that I was still running away at the times when you all still did not know of my circumstances.

Irregardless, Rin stayed and listened to every word I said. I was so scared, scared that I will drift away once again. But I never realized that there really are people that loved me and wants me to be happy.

You… You’re the reason why the flames of my soul blazed once again. I regained my reasons to live, and I am truly grateful that I am here beside you.

I love you, Rin.”

“I love you too, Gin.”

I stopped myself from tearing up after I heard those words one again coming from her.

“I always use to say: ‘In this world, we can’t avoid pain and sorrow. We can’t live our lives normally every time. It’s inescapable.’

And why would a person ever avoid or escape happiness?

I realized that even though I only see my own shadow, all of you are still here, and will always be here. Every one of you freely stroked your brush with paint, and painted the-“

“Every single one of them, they all disappeared… one by one in front of me…”

But not anymore.

I finally remember everything.

“…and painted the canvas—myself, and gave a lot of lively colors to it.

…

Akaji, and everyone else, your lives weren’t just mere lives for me. I’ve seen all of them smile before they even pass. Even when during the hardest of the hardest, they continued to smile with sincerity.

For the past ten years, I’ve been putting up a façade just like how Akira did. I was once a fake existence because of how unsightly I showed false happiness in front of you.

But it all changed because I decided to. I escaped my isolation and even met my own despair. And that despair is the one standing in the same earth as all of you. He had met what reality truly is, and he’s charging forward on his journey where he doesn’t even know what lies ahead.”

An extreme silence came and surrounded even the very big and open area. Without us noticing, we were the only people around the park looking at the lake.

And suddenly, Jean bursts out of laughter.

“Pfft… Hahahahaha!

Jeez…! This silence is destroying my ears… ahahaha!”

“What the heck, Jean… I haven’t heard you laugh like that once.”

“Sorry, Nacchi… I was on the verge of tearing up but I ended up laughing instead.”

“Whaaaaat…”

“Lol. That’s hilarious, Jean. Are you going to take the place of my former personality? Huhhhh?”

“What the…”

As they argue about trivial things, I realized that my hand is still on Rin’s head and she’s still leaning on my shoulder.

“Uh… Rin? We’ve been like this for some time… Should I let go?”

“Don’t. It will be cold if you do.”

“Aww…

You’re so cute with your chibi face.”

I tilted my head onto hers and gave her a hug while still looking at the lake and not moving a foot from where we stand.

I imagined that the two on my left will look disgusted but it contradicts to what I thought.

“Uhh…

Have you been looking for a while there, Nagi?”

The two of them both seemed rather startled and they vigorously looked away while their faces are turning red.

“N-N-N-No, I’m not! It’s not like I’m curious or something…

It’s just that this is the first time I see you act that way.”

“Hmm…

It’s actually getting colder. Should we head out now?”

“Oh, that’s right, Gin. I think I also need something hot to drink.”

“Actually, who wants to join me for dinner later? But I’m going to need some ingredients before I get home.

Anyone?”

As expected, they all raised their hands. When it comes to food, they hate to be late.

“You gluttons…

Alright, it’s going to be hotpot!”

“Ohh… Looking forward to that!”

“Hey, Gin. Isn’t today 27th? So you’re 18 now, huh?”

“Woah, seriously?”

“Akira, are you surprised because you forgot it’s the 27th today, or because I’m already 18?”

“Actually, both.”

“Just as I thought.”

“Who wants coffee?”

“Me.”

“Me too.”

“Hot strawberry chocolate for me, please.”

“Then me too, Jean.”

“If only I’m not surrounded by couples…

Alright, four coffees and two strawberry chocolate. Got it."

“Rin, I think I’m going to be grinding in Giotto’s next month.”

“Oh? Good luck, then. But don’t overwork yourself.”

“I will try to manage my time.”

~ ~ ~

A canvas will always be painted, whatever the color is and however it looks. It can never be left blank.

It was dumb of me to think that I only see my own shadow and no one else. If I still think that the reality of this world is painful, I may have been haunted by a lot of regrets. I may be left alone standing still while all of them move forward on their journeys.

But what matters the most is that I am who I am right now and I want to cherish everything around me. I have made a strong bond, I found new people, I found a whole new way of thinking for the better, I met the one I love, I have found out that nothing is truly perfect and I have discovered and learned a lot of things from other people’s experiences.

But I am just a mere child who still can’t stand on his own two feet. I have a lot to learn. There are things I haven’t seen or experienced in my life. I have decided to spend my life not because of material things and achievements—but to live my life with the people I love and cherish them with my heart. Peace and happiness is worth more than the value of gold.

And here, I speak. One last time with this microphone, telling every one of you…

That your life is not a waste. It’s very special.

I finally found the purpose of my life. I won’t say I don’t know anymore.

I also finally found where I truly belong. I’m not in black, nor in white. It may not be gray, but I still dwell in the middle.

As silver.

End.

…

No… I’m going to erase that. It’s WAAAAAYYYYYY too early.

End.


Chapter Message:

I thought that doing a Gintama was a good idea back then. orz Well, no, BakaGin.

But in a sense, this is somewhat correct. After chapter 20 I did take a break for a bit before continuing on the story. However, the next chapters won't be partitioned in a new volume; I never intended this story to have volumes anyway. I guess we could call this the end of Part 1 and onwards to Part 2. No, I am not going to do a JoJo. In any case, I suppose this chapter is a bit conclusive.

Thus this opens the door to the second part of NoFutsuu. It will focus less on character introductions but will develop a few more of the supporting characters instead. Also, Part 2 will give way to the establishment of the structure of the story deeper, as I personally don't believe that I have created a lore. But perhaps the story plot will only get tenser moving forward. I mean that as the chapters reaching a greater intensity compared to the past twenty chapters. I hope that you will look forward to it.

Oh, and also, I may have accidentally ironed my brain a bit after discovering vtubers.

Thank you for reading!

Next

Twenty-one: The class 4A after everything.