What lies beyond the horizon

The news and social media had all been talking about one thing recently, and it goes like this

“Two bodies found lifeless on a local Tokyo road in Japan, fell from a three story high building….suicide”

The news quickly spread far and wide across Japan, the Asian continent and soon the world, well, why wouldn’t it?, although the reasons for suicide was unclear, people had speculations, speculations based on one simple fact released to the general public;

“They were Lovers”

A modern day Romeo and Juliet story, lovers who chose the embrace of something unknown rather than fight the odds against their love, i for one didn’t care much but all I could think was “Lucky them” , at least they could choose, at least they knew what they wanted.

I can’t decide. everyday seems so mundane, it’s been two months since the summer incident and now it’s fall, amidst the colored tree leaves and the aesthetic of their slow drop all I could  see was black and white and I hated it.

Data analysis lecture had just ended and I was exhausted, taking  out the earphones that laid in my pockets i plugged to my phone and jabbed them into my ears and walked out to the hallway.

For some reason it felt like someone was watching me, so i picked up the pace and got to an empty street, stared back and there she was a petite girl with long red brown hair, agate colored eyes, a huge bow on her head and neat clothing that made her look like some Christmas gift.

“Why are you following me?” I asked.

“An experiment, an observation” she answered bluntly.

“So you’re stalking me….you could get arrested you know”

“No one would believe a girl like me is a stalker, you’d be arrested instead”

“Fair point sorry to disappoint you though I’m not an interesting case study, so stop following me please” I replied and walked away

“Hey wait up, I wanted to ask you something” she said as she grabbed my arm and pulled me back.

At that moment I turned back to tell her off, our eyes met, pale but the they shone at me, her hair gleamed in the sunlight and I was entranced, sometimes it just takes a look to see and in a full moment I saw, behind all this, this person…..

At that moment, he finally turned to look at me, a glimpse of his nordic eyes behind the bangs that invaded his forehead enchanted me. a quarter of a second to glimpse, a second to see… i saw and I knew, this person…..

Longed for something more.

A few minutes later and I’m sitting in cafe lattè with a stalker, who’s trying to shoot me an eye beam or something.

“Can you stop staring at me?”

“Hey, aren’t you gonna ask my name”

“Huh?….what do I need……”

“My name’s ai” she abruptly interrupted.

Don’t ask if you were gonna say it anyways! I thought 

“So….why’d you drag me here”

“You’re searching for the same thing I am, kuro”

“And what exactly might that be?”

“did you hear about the 'drop' during summer?”

“Lovers and double suicide?, yeah I did “

“The Romeo stuff aside, did you hear of the Thanatos one?”

“I think I saw something like that”

“You know how the obon festival is about celebrating spirits which are believed to come to the world of the living to see their loved ones, some locals believe he came and never left because he’s searching for his loved ones….those drawn to death”

“And how does that have anything to do with me”

“Because I can clearly see the look in your eye kuro, you’re looking for him. Why?” She asked with strong eye contact. 

the table heated up by pure tension, the wall clock went tick tock in harmony with a cacophonous crescendo until I said;

“There’s someone I long to see, it’s not Thanatos but…I heard he appears as the person you want to see the most”

“You know he’s the god of death right? and to see him you’ve got to be prepared to die, are you really Willing to…..”

“I am….I….I don’t know”

“I have my reasons for searching for him too, how about we search for him together?”

I didn’t understand what she meant , why would she want to thread down this stone paved road?…...I didn’t want her involved, but if it will get me closer to my desires I’ll use whatever I can.

With mutual agreement it began, with neither of us really knowing what our goals were, but it was clear we could get it from each other.

A relationship ensued and it grew deeper as time went on, ai constantly taking me places, somehow the “stone paved road” she was ready to walk on was smooth tiling, she was just plain having fun, while Thanatos ate away at me through Hypnos.

*******************************

“Don’t cry onichan. smile, if you don’t……”

Faintly these words echoed in my head as I woke up, the tears rolling down my cheek was a stern reminder of what I was constantly searching for….I’d ran away for too long, if this keeps up I can’t see her again, if this keeps up I’ll forget, I’ve forgotten, I can’t remember…….what did she say?

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“Sorry ai….I’ll have to take a rain check on our diner, maybe some other time, I guess”

When I saw that text I instantly knew what he meant, I didn’t know why though but my body kept taking me one place, my mind and heart reaffirmed it….it could only have been “there”

        ******************************

“Stop!” ai yelled “why would you do this? Why do you want to leave me? I thought we were having fun”

Her hair swayed mimicking the direction of the wind, a top the building of the 'drop' you could see everything, lights from the moving cars, the neon light from signs using the evening’s dark to its best, the starlit sky seemed ever closer but in this scenery most would consider beautiful….it was nothing but melancholic for us”

“It was fun…honestly, the best times I’ve had my whole life….” Kuro replied

“ then why?…..why?, I thought I too wanted this, but being with you only made me realize that I never really wanted to die, I just wanted a reason to live….you’re that reason, why do you want to take it away? I love you kuro ” She said with her eyes bawling with tears.

“Mom was never really stable. With all the violence and verbal abuse done to her by dad, by the time she had me, she was already far of the bend……hence the unusual name 'kuro'…….by the time I was six, she’d beat me up just to relieve stress or starve me ‘cause she just felt like doing so…the only ray of hope I had was my little sister, anytime she saw me sad she’d always run to my side and console me, she’d always say

Don’t cry onichan, smile, if you don’t how’d I know the color of your teeth

For some reason I could hear her sentence completely now, I remembered how stupid it sounded, but how much it made my day….I looked back and there she was, over the pavement.

“Mirai?….is that you mirai?

“What are you talking about? There’s no one there” ai said 

“No she’s there, she’s calling out to me, i have to go”

“Why? Why can’t you stay?”

“I just don’t fit in here Ai……I love you too, but I love mirai more, if I stayed, everyday with me will be a hellish reminder of that…I can’t hurt you, I don’t want to”

“I don’t care if you do, can’t you see that I just want to be with you?, if you don’t fit in here, we’ll find where you do together”

“Please stay with me” Ai said extending her hands to grab mine, and there I stood in between two hands reaching to take me away…..one to life and one to death.

The nights cold breeze felt like death’s chill, I had finally found what I was looking for but it seems to grasp it means letting go of something else.

“I have two hands so why can’t I just choose both?”, I felt this way but in my heart I knew that I had to choose, the tears overflow from both our eyes as we stared at each other. love can be be such a beautiful emotion but the more pure it is the more painful it is when it breaks.

**************************

Kuro turned his back on Ai and went over to mirai, with all hope lost Ai knelt down and cried out in tears, just then she felt a warm embrace

“In life and in death, I choose you Ai, I don’t know where you’d take me, the path ahead is dark and bleak but, I can see some light beyond the horizon, so I hope wherever it is it’s nice”

*******************************

And so we went, escaping the world we were subdued to, in constant search of something better, choosing love in life rather than death in love.