A Lullaby From the Depths

The warm sun rested at a distant horizon, and the gentle waves rippled across the sea, catching the gleaming sun rays. The scent of salt permeated the air, the breeze whispering across the amber sky.

I was told that the sunset would calm my nerves, but I didn’t think my head would spin that much from just the view. Was this what they call a culture shock?

Well, I had to admit, the scene was pretty soothing. Somewhat. At least it did feel better than looking at the tiny silhouette of the island where the ship was fast approaching.

Somewhere at a distance, a squawk taunted me. I raised my chin, squinting my eyes at a seagull circling high above.

I twitched an eye, staring at it coldly.

Sheesh, I couldn’t even enjoy a moment of peace here at the lowest deck. The ship was already rowdy enough with those freaks on the upper floors. I wouldn’t be surprised if the planks above me were creaking because someone decided to pick a fight.

I glanced left, right, and behind. One, two, three—at least five guards were maintaining their distance, and all of them shared the same bored looks on their faces.

I slowly inhaled and turned back at the sea, sighing to myself.

Ignore them. Ignore all of them. Don’t anyone get to me—not for these ten minutes. After all, this is probably the last time that I'll ever enjoy the sky this beautiful. Make it count, dammit.

For a quick minute, I simply stared out into the evening horizon. It was true. My nerves were definitely relaxed, but now, I couldn’t feel a damn thing.

Then again, having a quiet chest was probably better than feeling utterly hopeless.

Another squawk snapped me out of my thoughts. I turned to a fence far from me, where the seagull briefly perched. It surveyed the sea, cocking its head around and preening itself before flying away. I couldn’t help but keep my eyes on it, watching it disappear into the clouds.

Something muddy and suffocating was building up inside me. Something rotten was scratching my very soul.

All I could think about were those wings. It sure would be nice to have those and fly away from this ship too. Hell, just stretching my arms into the air was more than enough for me.

But with these handcuffs sealing my wrists, I might as well drop any remaining wishes I had left. With this death sentence, all I could do was simply dream of being a bird in my next life.

A sudden thought flickered across my mind, and I snickered to myself as I glared at the sky.

I heard from somewhere that people are ruled by either Eros or Thanatos. There were plenty of stories where people made miraculous recoveries from their fatal conditions or “luckily” escaped certain death. On the other hand, I also heard stories where people randomly jumped off buildings or got struck by lightning on a sunny day.

Since I survived fight after fight, I thought I was moderately blessed by Eros.

That was until I got caught, received my sentence, and got shipped off to my fate. Perhaps Thanatos planned that I’d die from this death sentence this whole time. 

But, was my sentence a god's plan, or the law? I couldn't be sure of anything besides my imminent death, really.

I glimpsed down at the cuffs and messaged my wrists, the sea waves rippling in the background. There was a soft splash followed by an enchanting lullaby.

Wait, what? A lullaby?

I moved my hands aside.

I twitched in place, gaping my eyes.

What should’ve been my reflection in the water was instead the face of an incredibly stunning lady. Her eyes were as golden as the sun, and her brown hair gleamed under the sunset’s glow.

“Ah!” said a pleasant voice. “Can you see me now?”

I stepped back. “Wha—?!”

“Shh!” She pressed a finger on her lips. “Stay quiet!”

I quivered my mouth, my eyes shaking. I blinked a few times and rubbed my eyes before gawking in disbelief.

She was beautiful. Too beautiful.

Just like that, she robbed all of my breath. My cheeks burned up, and my chest wildly throbbed. For a moment, it felt like I was drowning under her gaze.

Wait, calm down! Who is she? Why didn’t the guards notice her? Is she one of the staff?

I swallowed and cleared my throat. “Uh, hey, who are you?” I nervously asked. “What are you doing down there?”

She shushed me louder. “Keep it down! Don’t let anyone know that I’m here!”

I bit my lip.

I surveyed the deck. The guards were still taking turns watching me, but their lax expressions were awfully obvious.

“So, who are you?” I asked, lowering my voice.

She smiled as warmly as the sunlight. She swam closer to the ship, her eyes fixated on me. “Don’t worry about who I am,” she said playfully. “I’m just glad we can finally meet.”

“What? Do you know me?”

Before I knew it, I leaned closer to her as well.

She giggled, her musical laughter ringing pleasantly in my ears and flooding my thoughts. God, my heart just wouldn’t stop skipping beats. What was wrong with me all of a sudden?

“No, no I don’t,” she answered. “But I know you’re definitely special to me.”

“Me? Special?” I frowned. “How?”

“You don't think you’re special?”

I squeezed my fists. “If I am, I wouldn’t be a convicted criminal.”

She blinked and tilted her head. Her eyes never looked away once.

Normally, I would get uncomfortable from such a stare, but I couldn’t help but loosen my shoulders instead.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Well…” I averted my gaze. “It’s a long story.”

“Do you want to talk about it?”

No, no I don’t. I don’t even want to remember it. I don’t want to think about it anymore.

Yet, as if her questions cracked a hole in the dam of my past, the memories spurted before my eyes anyway.

I scrunched my face and gritted my teeth.

The domino effect started even before I was born. Ever since my childhood got abruptly thrown out the window, the questions just wouldn’t stop piling up.

Why did Mom and Dad have to be criminals? Why did they leave their dirty jobs to me? Why did I have to deal with their problems? Was it so wrong to try and escape such a life? Was it so wrong to make friends? Was it my fault that they all “disappeared?” Was it all my fault?

No, wait. Did one of them snitch on me? Was that how I got caught?

Something fiery and painful boiled in my chest, and I couldn’t help but swear under my breath.

The sea lady swam closer, her expression as serene as the waters around her. “You don’t have to tell me,” she said softly. “I can see it in your eyes. It must have been hard, right?”

Hot tears welled up in my eyes. “It’s not fair,” I muttered. “I just wanted a normal life.”

“Do you hate it?”

That question was so vague, but somehow, I knew what she meant.

“Obviously, I hate it! I hate my parents! I hate my life! There were so many times that I wished I’d never been born at all! I just want to—”

I paused.

The lady stretched her tender smile, and a tranquil wave swept over me, extinguishing the flames in seconds.

Oh, that smile was more beautiful than the sunset.

“Do you realize it now?” she asked.

I inhaled as I gazed deeper into her eyes. The view of the natural sunset behind her didn’t mean anything anymore. The longer I stared, the less I could breathe, and my heart slowed down like time itself.

The droplets trickling down her cheeks and shoulders glistened like patches of scales. Her damp hair reminded me of seagrass. The way her voice ensnared my mind and kept stealing my breaths…

In my eyes, she looked just like a…

Ah, I see. I get it now.

“It’s about time you showed up,” I whispered, smiling back. “My siren. My God of Death.”

She nodded and extended an arm, her hand reaching up towards me. “So, are you ready?”

“Of course.” I’d rather let you claim me here than satisfy someone’s blind justice.

I leaned forward and slipped into the blanket of comfort.

A lovely lullaby flowed through my head as I closed my eyes and sank deeper.

With your songs, may my final night be the most peaceful.

With your waters, may my sinful stains finally be washed away.