Separated By Time: Two Sides Of The Same Coin

Time is a twisted dimension,

It is a hallucination.

It exceeds the realm of imagination,

And it causes destruction...

Time is a cruel thing. It does the opposite of what it is told. When it is told to slow down, it speeds up. When it is told to increase its pace, it slows down. In one word, it is a menace.

But still, we need it. It runs down our veins. Forget veins, it constitutes our very dimension of space-time.

The world presently, is divided into two because of time; Extroverts and introverts. They live in two separate timelines. Time goes slow for introverts, while it goes the opposite for extroverts, although both want the opposite.

Introverts want time to go fast, but they are tortured by it. Extroverts want time to stay, but they are not given that opportunity.

It is similar to falling down an infinite void. Introverts want to see the end, while extroverts don't.

Introverts live to die.

Extroverts die to live.

For this reason, extroverts tend to be ruled by life, Eros.

While introverts are the opposite, Thanatos.

But what about ambiverts?

###

Life has never been depressing, so I don't know why people tend to die. I mean, give me the extra time you have. I want to live. Who in the world wants to die? Don't they value time?

This thought echoes in my mind when I see my surroundings. It is hard not to think when almost half of the people are trying to end their lives. I wish I could understand why.

All of them, and I mean all of them, have the same appearance. The same dead eyes, blunt expression, zero emotions, and most importantly,

A heart without any emotion.

It makes me wonder, do they actually want to end themselves? Or are they trying to end something deep inside their heart?

###

The moon peeked through the clouds after a long time of being hidden. It was a full moon.

I felt a sense of Deja Vu for some reason. This image of it still runs clearly in my mind. The same full moon, the same starry sky, the same cold wind,

And the same she, standing on top of our building, trying to end her life...

But it has become completely normal. Whenever she tries to end herself, or if I say, end something inside herself, she stands there, waiting for someone to end it inside her.

And that's where I come into being. Sometimes, I think of my being Eros is to save her Thanatos. Well, I don't care though. But one thing for sure, that is I won't let her die this easily. As someone who wants to live, as someone who wants more time in my life, I won't let her cut her time off short like this. She doesn't understand the value of time...

But is that really the case?

She was looking at the full moon, as the gentle cool breeze went by,

"So you came?"

"You messaged me that you are on the rooftop. I thought you would want to chat with someone under the night sky, so I came."

"Good."

"So what do you need? What is that thing that is troubling you?", I said to her, leaning myself on the railing that she was standing on.

"Nothing really. I just felt like dying. Life is not interesting anymore."

The same old tired-of-the-world thing...

"I'm tired of life. It's been 19 years.", she took a big sigh, before gazing upwards, "Look at the sky. They look so beautiful. But humans decide to trap themselves into this tiny, overpopulated world."

I see, she is tired of the chains, shackling her to this earth.

"Let me ask you one thing. If you want to die, then why do you hesitate?"

Before I knew it, I had said something stupid. What if she actually jumps?

"Something's inside me that is stopping me from doing it. It's your Eros. It's you."

"Well, that's a great way to practice a confession. So are you going to say that to? I didn't know you had a crush on someone in the first place."

"That was not a practice..."

Huh?

Ehh!?

I am being confessed to? Me? There is no one beside me, right?

There was no one. It was only me, and her.

Suddenly, my memory traveled back in time, when we first met...

It was the enthusiastic me, and the lifeless her, in the same place, just three years ago...

That day too, was a full moon. I was a complete extrovert, while her lifeless form was a wholehearted introvert.

I could still remember the enthusiastic me trying my heart and soul to save her from her ultimate fate. Unlike now, where my enthusiasm is down by almost a half. And she became more lively than before. I am sure that her lifeless self couldn't even imagine confessing to someone.

My Eros has diffused in her, while her Thanatos diffused into me.

Back then,

I was her Eros. She was my Thanatos.

###

Every person has the will of both, to live or die. But his dominant will will take over his personality, becoming only one.

The problem is when it is diffused. When two persons, one with a strong will to live and one with a strong will for death interact with each other for a very long time, their personalities diffuse, causing both of their wills to be equal, canceling each other.

What happens then?

Well, that is what they call true freedom, and that had happened for both of us, right at that moment, when she decided to confess to me.

"Ah, so this is what it feels to be free. Do you feel the same?"

She looked at me with a smile on her face.

"Yeah. I guess you saved me again this time, freeing me from the chains, that were restricting my freedom."

"No, it was you who saved me, saving me from the chains of life."

The previous me hated death, thinking of it as nothing but suffering. But now, I know that death also has its meaning, all thanks to her.

She freed me from life,

I freed her from death.

"I can feel life is going to be more fun from now on, now that we are finally free."

"Yeah, me too.", my enthusiasm matched hers, and her apathy matched mine.

We were finally free...