You Are The Only One I Love

I don’t want to live anymore. Everything is over for me. She left me without saying anything to me. How am I supposed to accept that? Ahhhh!! I don't want to fall in love anymore! If only I didn’t know her, my life would be easier. Now, I'm standing on the edge of this thirteen-floor building, contemplating ending it all. Just as I take that one step closer to the edge, a voice interrupts me.

“What are you doing there? You should not stand there. It’s so dangerous! You can die if you fall from there!”

Why she is here? I thought I locked the door to the rooftop earlier.

“Did you think I am idiot not knowing about that?”, I snap back at her.

“Yes! I can see from your face that you are so idiot! So, please come here now!” she asks me desperately.

“Why? This is my own choice! Who are you to stop me?!”

“Really? Go die then! I don’t want to involve with you!”

Did she ask me to die just now after stopping me earlier?

“Before you go through with this, can you tell me what led you to this decision?"

“This is our first time meeting with each other, and you ask me to tell you about myself? How funny is this?!” I don’t know why she wants to know about me.

“I am serious!” she said while looking at me so sincerely.

“Alright.”

I moved away from the precipice and sat down beside her. I hesitated but finally agreed to open up my story.

"My girlfriend, she meant the world to me. Her smile, her kindness, it made life beautiful. But she was in a car accident and passed away two days ago. She was my reason to live. I lost my parents at birth, lived with my grandmother till high school, and had to fend for myself. My best friend helped me find a job as a waiter, where I met her. Without her, I don’t think I can find meaning in my existence."

"Hey, do you want to be my boyfriend?"

I’m taken aback by her sudden question.

“Are you k-kidding just now? This is our first time meet with each other and I don’t even know your name!”

“Right, my name is Takami Sakura. You can call me Sakura. How about yours?”

“You can just call me Keita. A-are you really want to d-date w-with me?”

"What's with that reaction? You are so funny, Keita!" she said, laughing heartily.

You'll remember this later.

"Before that," she continued, "I have two conditions for you to date with me."

Curious, I asked, "What are they?"

"First, can I know what time you go to work?"

I considered her request and replied, "I start at ten in the morning and work until ten at night.”

“So, I need you to always call me after you go back from the work. Every night. I afraid that you will do same things as now again later. Second, I want you to have a date with me tomorrow.”

“Its fine with me as I don’t have work tomorrow. Is that all?” I ask Sakura.

“Yes, and see you tomorrow in front of the apartment! Also don’t forget to call me tonight!”

“Alright!”

I can’t wait for night to come. She gives me her number before she left earlier. I pick up my courage and dial that number. However, doubts crept in as the phone rang repeatedly without her picking up. I began to wonder if she had been insincere earlier. Then, I finally can hear she pick up my call.

“Sorry, Keita! I take a bath just now. What are you doing?”

It’s here! I feel so happy to talk with her again.

“I am watching television now. Can I know what your job is?” I try to make the conversation longer.

“I am working as archaeologist. Currently I work on research about the Rom gods. Did you know about Thanatos and Eros?”

“No. This is first time I heard about this. Can you tell me about that?”

“Every human in this world who are inclined towards life — governed by “Eros” and humans who are inclined towards death — governed by “Thanatos”. It’s fun right?”

She really looks like her. Always talking about her research.

“Yeah. And were governed by “Eros” right?” I try to make conversation more fun.

“I think I were governed by “Thanatos”. I can feel his aura from myself now.”

“Can we stop talking about this? I afraid that we will be late for our plan tomorrow.”

I don’t want to talk about death any longer.

“I almost forget about that. Goodnight then!”

The following day, Sakura and I went to a theme park. We rode roller coasters, shared laughter, and captured countless memories together. Yet, no matter how much fun I had, every glance at Sakura reminded me of the woman I'd lost. That night, we talked to each other on the phone again, and I felt an overwhelming sense of bliss in my life at that moment.

On the next day, I need to go work. After I done my work that night, I go to see my best friend, Touya who is work as a psychologist at the hospital that near to my workplace.

“Touya, how are you?”

“I am fine but what with your weird expression? I thought that you are still sad about your late girlfriend?”

“Guess what! I have found a new girlfriend that so pretty and she so kind to me.”

“Really, you are so lucky! Can I see the picture if you have kept it?”

“Wait, where did I keep the picture yesterday. I can’t find it in my phone.”

“Let me see it. Keita, why in this picture, there were only you are smiling alone while looking at other side?”

“I think this is her prank. I will call her later!”

Touya looking at me with concern asking me, “What is her name?”

“Takami Sakura. Why are you asking?”

Then, Touya suddenly standing and approaching me. While grabbed my shirt’s collar, he said to me, “Are you crazy! Open your eyes now, Keita!”

“What happen to you, Touya?”

Why is he shouting at me?

“You are having hallucination now. I think you are suffering schizophrenia because of what happen to your then-girlfriend. Please come back to your senses now, Keita!”

“This is true! I will prove to you that she is exist!”

I call that number, but she did not pick up my call.

“Maybe she is busy right now. That’s why she can’t pick up my call.”

“You still don’t realize it now, right? The number you contact just now is Takami Sakura’s number, your late girlfriend who is passed away several days ago!”

Then, my phone ringing.

“Look! She is calling me now! You should know that I am still sane. Hello, Sakura! Sorry to call you now, but I want your help.”

“Keita-san right? Sorry, but can you stop calling my sister’s phone every night? We still feel sad about her passing and I afraid your action will affect my family. I hope you stop doing this. Goodbye.”

Only God know what I am feeling now. So, all of this are just my only imagination?

“Do you understand now? Takami Sakura is your late girlfriend who is 25 years old and work as an archaeologist. How do you can’t realize all of this is your imagination?” said Touya.

I can’t hold it anymore, “ Shut up, Touya! You don’t even know what I am feeling now!’

Without looking back, I left Touya’s place and run so hard without realizing that I already at apartment’s rooftop. This is the place where I meet with her that day. After all, I still can’t forget about her. Overwhelmed and shattered, I realized the depth of my despair. The woman I'd met, Sakura, had been a figment of my imagination. Right, I should not fall in love especially with her. Because of her, I can’t stop loving her even after she gone from my life. I move closer to rooftop’s edge and now I will end all of this. God of Thanatos, if you can hear me, please take me along with you! God of Eros, I am sorry, but I don’t want to live anymore. Now, I am talking like Sakura. Maybe she is my god of death after all. How ironic this life. With a heavy heart, I take a step toward the end of edge of rooftop. As I fall, my heart feels much lighter. What the view! Just feel like I am racing into the night when I see all the building, car and lighting were passed so quickly. Sakura, I will come to you now. Goodbye world…