Episode 2: Our Differences (1/3)

<Aria Ocean>

Cherry blossoms created a curtain of drifting petals.

Like snow, each petal descended gently.

Touching the ground, the beauty it was once admired for comes to an end.

Lost was its transient moment of marvel. Left there in the dirt, its existence was left to wither and die.

They say there is beauty in decay.

But I say, there is decay in beauty.

It was here I met him again.

Among the cherry blossoms.

A strong breeze blew, the petals whirled into a storm. I held down my long dark red hair which curled in the wind.

A person so carefree in existence.

“Elliot—”

My words reached his ears.

He turned to me.

“Aria.”

Among the blooming cherry blossoms.

I knew right that instant.

The beauty between us was never bound to last.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

<Elliot Amaryllis (♂)>

It’s been a week since I began living with Elliot ♀. Since we knew more about each other than regular siblings, we were always careful not to cross the line.

That’s with the exception of one subject.

Aria Ocean.

My suspicion of Elliot ♀ was growing larger by the day. Yet, I still find myself denying the possibility. Because if she was ‘that’, it meant I was ‘this’.

And I refuse to believe that I’m ‘this’.

“14.2 seconds!”

“Damn it.”

14.2 seconds for a 100-metre sprint.

Though not a major record breaker, it was much faster than what most people my age could accomplish.

Still, I couldn’t help but compare my score to Elliot’s ♀.

She crushed basically every other girl in the track club with a whopping 14.5 seconds to her time. She was as fast as me despite her physique.

Now that I’ve given her a second glance, I realised that her body figure was rather svelte.

“Not bad, not bad.”

Our track ace, Leon the Great patted my shoulders as I caught my breath.

“Thanks.”

“I didn’t think you two had similar records. I reckon she’d be asked to represent that school when the time comes.”

“Represent the school? You mean she was chosen in the past?”

I never made it to the district competitions. But she did?

“Oh, no actually. Because she refused multiple times… and uh…”

Leon was just about to tell me the whole story when Elliot ♀ approached us, he stuttered.

Oh? What the hell is this?

“Elliot, what’s your score?”

Elliot ♀ asked.

“14.2.”

“Nice.”

Was that a compliment? Or was that a consolation?

I frowned a little, she looked hung up on my expression.

“Elliot, do you not have any plans to represent the school this year?”

Leon asked Elliot ♀.

“Nope. Not interested.”

Wow. Instant rejection.

“Let me know if you change your mind. That or you can just tell Jeffrey-sensei…”

“Alrighty.”

Leon looked apologetic. Elliot ♀ was as merciless as ever.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

There was a bench underneath a cherry tree ‘we’ often came to rest after track club.

“Here.”

She handed me a drink.

“I’ll be frank here, as a girl you seem more capable than me.”

I received the electrolyte drink and thanked her.

“I think it’s to make up for gender equality.”

She said as she cracked her drink open.

“You really think so?”

“Maybe yes, maybe no. Unless you’re fine with all the hassle of being a girl, I mean why not?”

“You’re just coming up with excuses.”

“What excuse? I’m just telling you what you know.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

I don’t know when it all started, but we began speaking like we were at each other’s throats.

Could one even bicker with themselves?

“You’re so girly. Jesus.”

“I dare you to say that again.”

“You’re so girly you motherfucker.”

“Wow, I’m so not offended.”

I mean, why would I? She’s like the occasional negative voices I hear in my head that I ignore.

“But you’re at least honest about it. Much better than drowning your emotions in mud.”

“You mean to say our junior high school days.”

“Yeah. Totally.”

We’ve grown up, certainly. Emotionally, mentally, and physically.

Puberty sure was a pain when it hit. Hormones go wild and a whole bunch of drama ensues for no damn reason other than to satisfy our personal ego.

She’s experienced it, I’ve experienced it.

But it was different, wasn’t it?

Breaking up with Ellis was a defining moment that changed me. What about her? She and Ellis remained close friends.

If she didn’t experience the crushing blow of heartbreak, what was it that happened in her past?

And if the drama she experienced was different from mine, how was it that we had the same train of thought?

“Hey, Elliot. If you don’t mind, could I ask about…”

“Oh, so there you two are. I’ve been looking everywhere for you.”

I was about to ask when an interruption arrived.

We both stuttered.

She was the only student in school who had red hair, it was impossible to mistake her for anyone else.

““A-Aria?””

“Um… did I intrude on anything?”

She stopped at a distance with a troubled smile on her face.

If I was asked to summarise Aria’s character down to one trait, it would be ‘considerate’. She was cautious about everything. Often going the extra mile just to make sure the other party feels comfortable in her presence.

Part of me wondered if the reason I fell for her was because I saw myself in her.

“Ah no. We’re fine. I thought you went home already?”

“No. I stayed to watch.”

She said she stayed to watch? Watch what? Watch who?

“You two were pretty good out there.”

““Ah…””

I wondered if Elliot ♀ was thinking the same thing I was. Aria had just admitted that she was stalking us.

“Don’t you usually go back early? What’s up today?”

I asked.

“Oh. I decided to stay back at the library. No one is home even if I went back early anyways.”

“I see…”

“Is it always like this?”

Elliot ♀ asked. Exactly what I wanted to know too.

“Oftentimes. But today in particular, I didn’t feel like going back. Do you mind if I join you two?”

“Ah?”

“Y-es. Please take a seat. Sorry, we didn’t notice.”

“Then excuse me.”

She took neither one side nor the other, sitting right between us.

What the heck?

The three of us were completely silent. Every time I thought of something, the topic burned up before it could leave my mouth. My throat felt parched even though I’d already finished the drink Elliot ♀ got me earlier.

What was Aria feeling right now?

She never told anyone how she felt about us two Elliots in existence. Perhaps because she thought of it as a sensitive topic—that’s why she never dared to ask.

“Um.”

She made an awkward voice.

“Uh…”

“Elliot.”

Elliot ♀ called me.

“What?”

“Say something.”

“Say what?”

“I don’t know. It’s awkward.”

“What do you mean? You’re the one who always talks to Aria so you know what she likes to talk about right?”

“Yeah but…”

Aria showed a suppressed laugh, the both of us stopped talking. For a brief moment we fell silent, Aria too composed herself with a cough.

Elliot signalled to me with her eyes, I had no clue what she was trying to tell me.

“Um, Aria. I’ve been meaning to ask… honestly, what do you think of ‘us’?”

It was a question which had been bugging me, and probably Elliot ♀, for some time now.

“Us? What do you mean?”

Aria, puzzled by my question, looked incredibly cute.

“U-Uh, you know. Because there is me and her? Like, doesn’t it feel weird to know both of us?”

What specific opinion did I really want from her?

Are you closer to me or Elliot ♀? Or… between me and Elliot ♀, which one do you like more?

I couldn’t say it out loud. It would be too obvious otherwise.

“No. It’s not weird.”

Aria shook her head.

“Thank God?”

Elliot ♀ responded with a question yet not a question?

Aria chuckled.

“Thank God indeed. Now I have two Elliots to accompany me.”

““Ugh?””

Both Elliot ♀ and I gawked at the same time.

Then our faces reddened simultaneously. Aria looked alternately between us. We quickly turned away.

Fuck, you’re making it so obvious dip shit! I could almost hear Elliot ♀ cursing me.

“How cute.”

Aria laughed again. How could she say something like that with a hand gesture to her lips?! It’s suggestive!

“Aria. Which… which one of us do you like more?”

Elliot ♀ mustered the courage I couldn’t have and dropped the bomb.

“I don’t know. Both of you are important to me.”

Aria replied immediately.

“Then hypothetically, if we were dying and you could only save one of us, which would you save?”

“Can you not put me in such a troubling position?”

Aria said with a resigning look.

“Then… which one of us was more dominant in your memory?”

I asked.

Aria pondered with a slight frown.

Elliot ♀ and I waited anxiously for her reply.

“It’s a secret.”

A secret…

Elliot ♀ and I glanced at each other.

Aria certainly has a preference between one or the other. Depending on the preference, the likelihood of her feelings…

“…And that’s why I don’t want to talk about this.”

Aria heaved a sigh, breaking our gaze.

“I knew you two would fight again if I played favourites. Let’s just all get along can’t we?”

Aria pleaded with a sad expression.

“Alright.”

“I’ll try my best.”

We could only resign at Aria’s request.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

The day was already pretty late when we parted with Aria.

Trudging back home, the question which had been stirring in my mind could no longer be contained.

Partway through the journey back, I told Elliot ♀.

“I like Aria.”

“What?”

She stopped and stared at me.

“I said, I like Aria!”

What? If you were me, you should already know what I’m trying to get at, right?

Come on!

She gritted her teeth.

“I like Aria too!”

She shouted back.

My mind was thrown into disarray.

I had a hunch from the start, but hearing it directly from her mouth really helped sink the truth into the reality of things.

“Fuck what?! You’re finally admitting that you’re lesbian?!”

I panicked.

“Yeah, I am! Which means you’re possibly gay!”

Shit. She hit where it hurt.

That was exactly the reason why I didn’t want to consider the possibility…! If Elliot ♀ was lesbian, that would make me… gay?

Either that or we’re bi…

But I was sure I never had a thing for men to begin with. Fuck off! I’ll strangle myself to death if that were true.

“H-Have you ever had a thing for guys?”

Elliot ♀ asked with one eyebrow twitching.

“No, unfortunately, I’ve only had a thing for girls.”

I said.

She folded her arms and frowned.

Hold on. Girls? As in, plural form?

“…Then Aria wasn’t your first?”

“Why would you think she was my first?”

No way.

“…Ellis?”

“That’s right.”

Fuck no…

“Then you two…”

“I was rejected.”

Wha… Wait, no. That’s good. She didn’t have to deal with the kind of person Ellis really was.

“Sorry for bringing it up.”

I said. She shook her head.

“If there’s anyone I should be feeling sorry for, it would be you. I realised from what happened between you and Ellis that we would’ve been an impossible ship.”

“Wait, that’s odd. Doesn’t your heart hurt from the breakup?”

“I have Aria in my heart now.”

“That makes zero sense…”

“I also thought it made no sense. But as long as it keeps me sane, I’ll continue things the way they are now.”

Elliot’s ♀ relationship with Ellis had never been more complicated. We both had different troubled pasts, but one thing stood clear.

We had both received our share of pain from love.

It wasn’t to say that Ellis was bad as a person, we just weren’t compatible.

“Hey.”

Elliot ♀ called me.

“Don’t tell mom.”

“What?”

Until she told me not to, the idea of telling mom had never once crossed my mind.

“Please.”

“…”

I didn’t think she could make that kind of face.

“Deal.”

“Thank you.”

“In exchange…”

“What…?”

“…Aria is mine.”

“What? No.”

“You’re a girl.”

“…I’m a girl so what?!”

“She might not have a thing for girls…”

“Fucking shut up! We won’t know until she reveals herself!”

“Then I’ll tell mom.”

“Dickhead! I knew you couldn’t be trusted!”

I was only trying to mess with her. I didn’t think she’d actually get so worked up.

“Okay, okay. Time out, I was just…”

“Fuck you! I take back my words. Tell her, go on and fucking go on and tell her I’m a lesbian. I’m not giving up Aria just because of some stupid genetics.”

…I was just joking.

“Elliot. It’s a…”

“I hate you!”

She pushed me against the wall, my back slammed against the concrete and I almost fell.

Damn it, you…!

I was going to retaliate back.

But like fire being doused in water, all the adrenaline in my blood reversed backwards.

She was crying.

“I hate… you.”

“Wha… wait!”

She turned away, tears glistening in the evening light as they fell.

And ran ahead.

My outstretched hand was left touching dust.

Shit.

I felt like shit.