Episode 6: Our Confessions (1/4)

<Elliot Amaryllis (♂)>

There was a girl blankly staring into the closet.

I struggled in deciding if I should call out to her.

In the end, I did.

She turned to me robotically.

“What?”

“I wanted to ask. Do you have swimsuits?”

“I do, you don’t?”

“No. It’s because I don’t plan to swim.”

“Because of what happened last time?”

“Yeah. Because of what happened last time.”

We were referring to our previous family trip to the beachside. Likely, both of us had the experience of severe sunburn as a result of not heeding mom’s advice.

Always put on sunscreen. I swear, it’ll save you a lot of pain.

“And I think my swimming truck is a little small for me now.”

“If you say that, then it’s probably the same for me.”

Small for her too? Imagining Elliot ♀ wearing a tight-fitting swimsuit nearly bursting at the seams… hell no. It seems Elliot ♀ and I have no intention of getting into the water.

“What are you bringing?”

Elliot ♀ asked.

“The basic stuff. Change of clothes, charger, sunscreen, my inhaler… you know?”

“I’m envious of the fact that you don’t need to bring pads.”

But hey, you don’t experience asthma.

“You’re on one now?”

“No, not yet. But that earlier statement should’ve been enough of a hint right?”

“Alright, alright. I won’t ask again.”

She was much more open about it than I thought. Well, I suppose it’s because she’s ‘me’.

“Anyways, aren’t you going to bring an envelope or something?”

She asked.

“An envelope?”

“Yeah. To write a love letter.”

To Aria like how I did when I wanted to confess to Ellis?

“I don’t plan to do that this time.”

At my reply, Elliot ♀ raised an eyebrow.

“Really now?”

Yeah really…

How would I feel if I knew someone I like was being taken by a ‘close friend’?

If I were in her situation, I would try my best to give them the necessary space for the relationship to flourish. It was exactly what she had been doing the past few weeks.

But the feeling of doing such a thing? Probably horrible.

You know, this whole thing about me and Aria has been a point of contention between us.

She may try to hide it, but I know.

Because I’m her.

We both like Aria.

But there are two of us.

So what can we do?

“Idiot.”

I muttered.

“What did you say?”

“Nothing.”

She should just say it. She should just say she doesn’t want me and Aria to…

Btzz.

A notification.

I reached for my phone on the table. I could sense Elliot ♀ pulling away.

‘See you tomorrow Elliot ♀. I can’t wait. Good night.’

A wry smile found itself on my lips.

‘Good night Aria. See you tomorrow.’

Seriously, I’m such an idiot.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

It was a nice prelude to the start of the summer holidays.

“I can’t wait to grow up.”

Jasper said as he chewed on a carrot stick.

Today was field trip day. Early in the morning, Elliot ♀ and I was primed and ready to go all out for this year’s school vacation.

“Well, you’ll have your chance next year.”

Unfortunately, we would be leaving our family for a few days.

Chew. Chew. Chew.

Next year, Jasper will be entering junior high school. So until then, he’ll have to bear with his smaller-scale primary school trips.

A day trip was different from a 3-day 3-night retreat.

“Double-check your items alright? I’ll drive you over.”

Dad said.

“We will.”

“After breakfast.”

My dad had to go to the office today. So instead of taking the train, he said he’d drop us by the school on the way.

“And take care.”

“Be sure to bring contraceptives with you.”

“Uh… yeah, sure.”

“I’ve already packed them in a black bag. Different ones for girls and boys. Enjoy your time.”

No. Mom, seriously you shouldn’t.

And so, the light of the first day began with breakfast.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

“It’s been a while since we saw this.”

“Yeah.”

It was the oddest thing ever to witness an army of students all wearing casual clothes.

A few abnormal ones came wearing their school uniforms, but otherwise, the other 98 percent were in their best jeans.

“Where exactly is our class again?”

The school auditorium could fit multiple tennis courts. But with the sheer number of students in the school, it was completely packed.

“There, I think.”

Elliot ♀ followed me. We eventually found our class.

“Morning.”

“Morning you two. Both Elliots check.”

Tility, our class president checked our name off the attendance list. Richard-sensei was there to confirm it.

“Okay, line up here.”

Girls and boys were split into separate lines.

The letter ‘E’ was quite in front in terms of alphabetical order so it can’t be helped that the person near where I stood were…

Ellis and Aria.

Both of them looked spry today. Mature-looking Ellis in her bright blouse, and cute Aria in a long white dress.

At departure time, everyone was ushered into the bus. One bus for one class. The seats came in pairs, and somehow I got paired with Aria.

Meanwhile…

“Did Elliot get you that pin?”

“Huh? What? This? No, it’s my own.”

“Really?”

“I wore it last time you didn’t notice?”

“No, I didn’t.”

“You’re fucking blind.”

“What?! Why are you still so angry with me? What did I do wrong?”

Ellis and Elliot ♀ seemed to be arguing about the golden butterfly pin.

“Are you only bringing that much?”

I asked Aria, having glanced at her luggage. Actually, I don’t know if what she brought could even be considered ‘luggage’. It was one simple tote bag.

“I think so?”

“You think so?”

“Sebas said I should just buy it from there if I need anything.”

“Uh…”

I felt inadequate all of a sudden.

If I take Aria’s hand, do I have the capacity to take care of a girl like her in the future? I certainly wasn’t a man who could provide her with all the money in the world like in her household so… the way finances are handled might come as a shock to her.

“What’s wrong?”

“No, nothing.”

I’m probably overthinking.

Aria certainly came from a wealthy family, but she doesn’t seem like a girl who would spend money arbitrarily…Right?

“Compared to everyone else, you also didn’t bring much Elliot.”

I looked at my own bag when she said that.

Certainly. I only brought a single duffle bag. Some of Elliot’s stuff was also inside here since her backpack couldn’t carry as much.

“I’m only packing the bare minimum, and it already amounts to this much. So when I see how you’re only bringing a bag… it makes me wonder. Do you even have spare clothes inside?”

Aria’s face became flushed a little.

“Only my undies…”

I wish I never asked.

There was a brief silence between us, the conversation between those two reached our ears.

“Why are you coming to the beach if you don’t plan on swimming then? If you didn’t bring your swimsuit then we’ll just have to get you a new one there.”

“Ellis, I can’t swim the entire week.”

“Why?”

“It’s that time of the month.”

“…”

Looks like they were getting along.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

“Here.”

We finally arrived at the lodging. After settling into our rooms, Elliot ♀ and I met up in the lobby in the early evening.

I passed Elliot ♀ her items that were in my bag.

“Thanks.”

“You look kind of tired, you okay?”

Her complexion was pale.

“Period cramps.”

“Oh…”

“Sucks to be me huh?”

“Then do you need medicine?”

We had paracetamol ready in case she needed any.

“I’ve already taken them, it’s fine.”

“Then… does it normally go away?”

“Maybe by tomorrow… it’s worse today than it was yesterday so it should subside soon.”

I don’t know how much it hurts for her, but would she be fine? Until now, I never paid much attention to the fact that she was a normal girl with normal cycles.

“Then I’ll help you take these things to your room.”

“Ah, no need.”

“No. Let me do it.”

Her brows furrowed slightly.

“You just want to see Aria don’t you?”

It had nothing to do with Aria, I was genuinely concerned about her well-being. But I found myself unable to respond to her words.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

<Elliot Amaryllis (♀)>

Period cramps mark the onset of the actual period. I actually felt mild pain yesterday. It peaked today, so I expect it to subside by tomorrow.

Also, just in case, I’ll start wearing the pads later tonight. Ellis was late to the uptake but she eventually got the message.

“Here.”

I owe one to Elliot ♂ for helping me carry my stuff.

“Thanks.”

“You look kind of tired, you okay?”

“Period cramps.”

“Oh…”

“Sucks to be me huh?”

A pervert like him should know what I’m trying to tell him here.

Anyways, seeing the surprise on his face uplifted my mood. The pain subsided just a little.

“Then do you need medicine?”

“I’ve already taken them, it’s fine.”

“Then… does it normally go away?”

“Maybe by tomorrow… it’s worse today than it was yesterday so it should subside soon.”

Odd really. It’s starting to go away bit by bit now.

The medication is starting to take effect I suppose.

“Then I’ll help you take these things to your room.”

“Ah, no need.”

“Let me do it.”

He’s pretty persistent.

“You just want to see Aria don’t you?”

So was I.

I blurted that for no particular reason. My eyes felt slightly watery.

“…”

He couldn’t reply. Just as I thought.

“Well, nevermind. Thank you for this, I can carry it myself.”

What was going through his mind? I’m I gas-lighting him? I mean, he should take this opportunity to say good night to Aria or something right?

Why does he feel so guilty for me?

I left Elliot ♂ who stood there confused. A few times I turned around to check, he was still blankly staring on the ground. I was getting concerned but… I was also slightly angry.

So, I thought maybe it was alright to leave him like that.

──•~❉᯽❉~•──

“What’s that?”

“My stuff.”

I entered the girl’s lodging. It was a sleep-on-the-floor style room that fits about 6 pax.

It was me, Ellis, Aria, Tility, Willow, and two senior students who I didn’t quite recognize.

“What’s this?”

Tility looked at the items in my hand one by one. Then pointed out a suspicious black box.

What the fuck? Why did he pass me this?

“Something.”

“What something?”

Tility was a short girl. So when she looked at me with those cute upturned eyes I felt like my heart was going to stop.

The most adorable human being in class… alas, such a pity we never got to see her in the maid costume.

“Just don’t open it. If you do, you’ll regret it.”

In fact, I have no idea what kind of contraceptives mom prepared for a girl like me. It’s not like I wear condoms, right? Who else can I fuck here anyways?

I arranged the items in my own little corner, meanwhile making sure to stuff the black box deep inside my backpack so that no one would see it.

“Ugh…”

I groaned at the worsening pain in my abdomen. Seriously? I thought it was subsiding earlier?

“I think I’m going to bed early.”

“Huh? Really? Ellis asked me to tell you to go to the lounge room to have a drink when you came back.”

“So that’s where they went huh?”

I wouldn’t be surprised if Elliot ♂ went. Well, I’m not in the best of condition so…

“Ellis should know why I’m not going. I’m sleeping first, good night Tility.”

The pain is annoying. Can you just go away already?

Covering myself with the blanket, I forced myself to sleep.

“Good night Elliot.”

Good night.

An hour, two hours. I tossed and turned.

The pain grew weaker gradually and I entered a light sleep—to be woken up by the sounds of chattering.

The room light was already off. However, it wasn’t completely dark because some of the girls were on their phones.

“Hey, hey. Who do you have a crush on?”

Who do I have a crush on? Aria, obviously.

“I don’t have a crush.”

Ellis’ voice.

“Really? I thought you and that guy got along?”

“Well, we kind of broke up.”

Ah, so it’s the seniors that brought up the topic. Do they know about Ellis and Elliot’s ♂ relationship? Actually, are they talking about this assuming that I’m sleeping?

“How about you Tility? Who do you have a crush on?”

“U-Um… it’s just a little crush. The kind of love that won’t work out.”

“OOhh~ So you do have someone you like after all?”

“Who is it? Who is it?”

“I didn’t think you, of all people, would have a secret crush.”

“Nearl, shh. Don’t wake her up.”

“Oh, oops.”

In the midst of the cahoot, Aria was the one to warn them about awakening the dragon (me).

Welp, too late motherfuckers.

I assumed a sleeping posture as I continued eavesdropping.

“Come on Tility, is it from your own class or…”

“You don’t have to force yourself to tell if you don’t want to.”

“It’s um… the prefect that runs in the track club.”

“The prefect? Track club?”

“Oh wait! I know, it’s Leon, isn’t it.”

There was a short silence.

“What? You like that dude?”

“Well, I suppose you’re right about ‘a kind of love that won’t work out’.”

“A lot of girls like him… I heard?”

“But he’s not interested in any of them.”

“Except for one perhaps.”

Except for one?

The one Leon might have a crush on… oh, right. I told Ellis about it last time didn’t I?

“Who? Who?”

The seniors prodded in a hushed voice.

“Not telling.”

Good job Ellis. If you had told them my secret I would’ve crushed your neck right then and there.

“Why?”

“Just respecting the person’s privacy. Anyways, shouldn’t we ask the last girl?”

“U-Uh…”

“Aria, you have a crush on someone don’t you?”

Aria has a crush on someone…

Well, if it all adds up then ‘that someone’ is obvious.

“…Yes.”

“I think everyone in class knows by now.”

“What? Who?”

“Even your own class president doesn’t know who it is. So much for ‘everyone knows by now’.”

“Um, I don’t want to say it?”

“Heeh… even though you’re making it so obvious.”

“Who? Who?”

“Aria…”

“I’m sorry Ellis.”

The first thing Aria does is apologise.

Then there was silence again.

“No way? So she’s crushing on your ex?”

“Who else?”

Ellis’ sarcasm never ceases to amaze me.

“Ah, so Elliot…?”

I think Tility’s mouth was shut halfway.

“Shush, what if she wakes up?”

My body was getting stiff, so I changed my posture. There was a deafening silence for a few seconds. Once I got into a comfortable position, I gently exhaled. My eyes remained shut, then a few more seconds of complete stillness before someone sighed.

“Wheewh.”

“Damn, that was scary.”

“She didn’t wake up.”

“Sorry…”

“So, what do you think are the chances? Do you think he’ll confess to you soon?”

I felt my heart prickle.

Right, the words he said that day.

‘…After the exam.’

What is this feeling anyways? Jealousy? Of what? Of Elliot ♂ winning Aria’s heart?

To begin with, I felt nothing when she admitted to the fact that she liked Elliot. It was only when that senior brought up the topic of the confession that…

No.

Hold on.

Am I jealous of him taking her away from me or… Her taking him away from me?