Eros, Calls from Below

My parents were...strange.

They'd always sing this strange melody whenever they held each other closely and it always felt dark. And every year on July 13th they'd dance until the sun set and only the moon and stars remained.

It was like they were entranced by the night, but their presence was as bright as the sun.

Three years later, I was born.

7:13pm, December 15th, 2022

And though my father says that time here doesn't matter, that day and my birthday are the days that they remember the most. The days where time mattered. The days he treasured more than "his own life.".

Whatever that means.

My father says that if he didn't say that he wanted to die on July 13th then he wouldn't be as happy as he is now. Let alone at all.

I don't understand it when they talk about death. We live in a place where that doesn't matter. We live leisurely, nothing harms us in this world. My mom says it’s because everyone here has lived such harsh and boring lives.

If anything, I always thought our lives were boring.

But I’d never say anything like that.

This world is basically all you could “wish for”. Another pair of words I have yet to understand.

I sat in the living room with my mother.

Peacefully.

Again.

“Wish”. My mom says a wish is when you ask for your greatest desire.

“What you want. Whether it be an expensive gift or to simply love something.” My mom says.

Something I want?

I suddenly felt myself saying something without thinking.

“I want to leave this “paradise”.”

It was silent. But I could hear it.

Is that possible?

“You can’t.” she spoke.

Softly.

Like she’s telling me that my wish can’t be granted. I can’t have what I want.

It was loud, but no one was saying a word.

“Okay.” I agreed silently.

And continued to follow the endless loop of “peace”.

Are we… Actually living?

“I’m going to go take a walk alright, mom? I apologize if I offended you.”

I smiled, and walked out the front door.

Before I left, her expression looked as if she would cry. Tears of joy? I don’t understand. But I want to.

“It’s said there are two types of people:”

I suddenly hear my father’s voice as I step outside to the open grassy plain and walk. The sun is still shining above.

“...and those ruled by the desire for death–Thanatos.”

What was the first part again? Oh, right!

…Those ruled by the desire for life–Eros.

“Those ruled by the desire for life–Eros.”

And suddenly the ground opened up. Bright light came from it. I wanted to run, but another part of me wanted to jump. A strange feeling.

“Winter! It’s time for Dinner!” My mom calls. The Sun has already started to go down. But I was only out for 10 minutes.

I ran back and told my father what I saw. He dropped a plate and broke it.

“Really?” He smiled and picked up his mess. Mother walked in with a sad face. That never happened before.

“I have to talk to your mother alone, okay?”

“Okay…” I got up silently and left, to my room and listened in.

“...She can see Eros…” My father started.

“I know.”

“She’s not gonna want to stay forever.”

“I know.” her voice cracked a bit.

A silence went over the house again. I went to bed but couldn’t sleep. I felt like I was being called. I sat up and got out of my bed. My body was moving on its own and before I knew it I was falling down the hole. I hit the hard ground.