Memories Washed Away

And just like that, for the first time in years our eyes meet again…

The night was cold. The rain drizzled down, and a gust of wind caressed through my hair, sending shivers down to my spine. It was already late; I thought to myself as I had to run through the rain with my bag above, covering my head. I looked at my watch; it was already past ten o'clock. I have been working overtime again.

I finally arrived at the bus stop, and there wasn't a single soul in sight. Of course, it’s already late. There was no way the bus was still operating. The light was bleak and flickers every so often. At least, the sound of the rain pouring down brought comfort, inducing a feeling of calm. In the meantime, I swung my jacket up and down, attempting to dry it up at least a little, and hung it on the railing behind me.

I had no choice but to walk home, which was an hour's walk from my workplace. I sat down on the bench and checked my phone while waiting for the rain to stop.

“Huft…” As I scrolled down through my chat timeline, I sighed to myself. Until I reached myself at the end, one unread message from her still lingered on my chat list for years, haunting me every single day.

My heart suddenly thudded fast, as if it was about to burst, and my hand trembled. “Why? Why is it so hard for me to open it after all these years?” I don’t dare to open her message. The red notification from her kept daunting me more and more as the day passed.

“Goddammit!” I clenched my fist and slammed it against the bench. I leaned back, trying to catch my breath as my gaze averted upwards; looking at the rain poured down against the glass roof. Somehow it gave me a sense of peace.

At that moment, it made me realize. Unlike her, I’m not brave. Brushed off every word that she said to me as a joke. I was too naive about it. What if she meant it? Our relationship has become sour since then.

It was at the observation deck, perched on the cliff overlooking the sea, that we met for the first time. Although we both attended the same school, yet we had never exchanged a single word. Instead, our eyes met whenever the opportunity was given to us.

Until that moment when she leaped over the stone railing, tip-toeing on it and her feet slipped. My heart stopped for a moment as I watched her slip on the edge of the railing. Without thinking, I lunged myself forward, stretching my arm out toward her.

It was that moment, our eyes locked for the first time. I saw no fear inside her eyes. Almost if she already gave herself up.

“I got you!” I shouted. “Hold tight!” I gathered my strength and managed to pull her up to safety.

“Hahh… Hah…” she gasped. “Are you okay?” I asked her. Instead of answering mine, she started laughing to herself “That was fun!” she continued, raising her hand to the air.

Her response amused me, what a weird girl I thought to myself but I’m glad she was okay.

We became friends on that day.

As each day passed, we spent our time together more on the observation deck, while we did our homework together. Until one day, she brought up the idea of jumping from the deck into the ocean. Strangely enough, it didn’t feel unnatural for her antics.

“Huh… Weren’t you already doing that before?”

"Eh…. that was just an accident," she replied with a carefree grin, jumping onto the stone railing just like she did before. My heart thudded once again as I got up from the ground.

“Don’t fall again,” I said while I held her arm again.

“I won't,” she winked her eye at me. She turned around, facing the sea as she blocked the sunlight for me. Her long hair flowed in the sea breeze and I couldn't forget how she smiled down at me, a smile worth a million.

Reminisced about that, it somehow felt liberating, as if something had been lifted from my chest. I reached for my jacket. The rain was still as dense as ever, showing no sign of stopping anytime soon but it was getting late by now.

As I stepped out of the bus stop, a gentle drizzle began to wet my body. It was cold, indeed, but I finally sensed a peace within my heart. I stood for a while, embracing the rain as I lifted my head upwards. I could feel every touch of the rain against my skin.

I started walking home with my clothes drenched in rain. As I walked on, I passed the same old observation deck that we used to hang out at. The road leading to it was a bit overgrown with wild grass. No one had been here for ages; maybe we were the last people to visit.

Finally, I was able to get to the deck. The gate was surrounded by old yellow tape with a line written on it: “Danger - Caution, do not enter.” It wouldn't stop me from entering the deck. I pushed the rusty gate open and found myself in a familiar place, yet it felt eerie to be here alone at night just with a light from my phone.

The rain finally stopped, and the sea breeze started to catch up, bustling through my hair. I placed my hands on the railing. I closed my eyes, enjoying every moment of it until I heard a couple of footsteps from behind.

I turned around, not expecting anything, and yet there she was, still in her school uniform, waving her hand to me. I couldn’t help but wave back. Just like that, for the first time in years, our eyes meet again.

She approached me, and for some reason, she looked content and calmer. My heart raced and my voice stammered, “I.. I,” She turned her head to me. “I-i...m sorry for everything,” but she remained silent. Instead, as she always does, she leaped onto the stone railing and sat on it, faced against the sea. We both stood in silence, the only sounds were the lapping of the waves against the rocks below us.

I turned my gaze to the night sky as the clouds began to clear up. The moon finally showed up, reflecting its light on the sea below.

“Life isn’t fair to you, right?” Finally, she spoke. I looked at her, but her gaze remained glued on the sea. I was taken aback when I heard that, why she was asked about that.

“What do you mean?”

“You don’t remember?” She tapped her hand to the stone railing, signaling me to sit beside her. I leaped onto the railing and sat by her.

“Why are you still wearing your old school uniform?” I asked her curious about it. “We are no longer in high school,”

Again she ignored my question.

“Ah…. You know… this reminds me of when we were young,” I said to her. “You used to stand on this railing and.. and remember that one time we met for the first…”

"You've endured too much, haven't you?" She turned her face to me. "I could see it in your tired eyes. You are trying to bury that memory deep inside you." I was lost for words when she said that. Without me noticing, tears ran down my face.

“Ah… sorry you shouldn’t see me crying like this,” I said, but I couldn’t help it, I wanted to let it all out. She took my hand with her right hand, and the other one wiped away my tears.

Memories started to flow back, every moment of it, from the beginning until the end, I remember it all now.

“It was raining, and we had a big quarrel between the two of us. I'm sorry that I never took your words seriously. Because of that, you ran from your home, and everyone was searching for you. Yet, all I did was shut myself in my room.”

“I’m a fool, if not because of it, you are still with me here.”

“You finally remember that,” she said.

"I... I want to be with you," the words slipped through my mouth. I couldn't hold them any longer. "I don't want us both to be alone."

“I love you, Yuna!”

She held my hands.

She started to smile at me again, the same smile from years ago.

We took one last sight of the shimmering lights of the city skyline from the other side of the sea.

I will never forget how she loved this sight.

I closed my eyes for the last time as we both leap into the night sky.