Constellations Without The Carrier Stars

When the music plays for the night, I stand outside, admiring it. Something makes me think, listening to my older brother sing a few notes to the rhythm of the night music... A song in the future lost and never emerged, yet today it has its chance to shine.

"Aren't you a little tired?"

"No, it's really great. You should sing too, you know? It feels wonderful."

"Dear big brother, you know that sooner or later everything ends, enjoy this moment."

"Yes, you are right..."

My sister, although she is younger than me, is maturing a lot during our trip. It's a shame that she is still covered in such a pure innocence that it's scary. She scares me... So much. Because who have a world contaminated by darkness and the deepest wounds that her body is forced to carry, she remains so kind... She scares me. It's time to face reality, my young sister.

"Listen, little sister, since we're alone, how about I tell you a story? I think it's the right time to tell you about a rather interesting one."

"Really? How nice, I love your stories."

"Hahaha okay, then come with me."

How beautiful are my brother's stories! I get up from the tree on which I am leaning, I join my brother, and we walk towards a place that seems closed off from the rest of the world. The air is lighter, but the place, which I would define as ineffable, is framed by the same night and the same moon seen shortly before.

"Please, little sister, come in. We can sit on the lawn."

“Thank you, how do you know the way to this strange place?”

"Soon it will be told to you, you have matured a lot now, and so I think you can understand it once the story has been told... It will be different from all the others, this is my premise."

"It's okay, you know how much I like listening to you."

"Well, let's get started."

Dear little sister, I hope this story can finally make you understand who I really am... Well, the story begins with a step towards the unknown that the world presents every second. A breathless step. A step nuanced by a secret that is difficult to understand. It becomes a race without an arrival, the departure is so far away...

In the world, people choose, they always choose, and that choice gives or takes something from the lives of those who have chosen. Those who choose to escape, feeling in danger or those who are in the grip of an impossible love and cannot express it, therefore, cannot be judged. Sometimes, in moments impossible to describe, a voice makes its way towards the light, differentiating itself from a chaos that is too intrusive and alive and moving the innocent soul away from a recurring darkness.

The charm of a voice masked by the night, the most seductive shadow of any day, or any rain one person can experience. Even now, the hands of the clock strike decisively when a cycle ends and begins again, as happens when a letter arrives and, for a moment, the heart feels nothing. The last two lost souls tremble, but fear no longer has any effect in the face of a suffering tomorrow; now they are still and flying.

Their steps stopped.

The race has reached its end.

Their path can finally begin, leaving behind a consummate past of loss and depression. No one on the other side will know, they won't know the truth behind two frayed lives. Think about it for a second: pain takes the place of happiness, and tears fall prey to tiredness. What is there to choose from? This is what they must have thought when they tried to climb the stairs of an infinite tower. At the first opportunity, the first soul tried to achieve happiness in her own way; the second tried to stay in the middle, ready to look for a reason and a hope. The undecided soul begins to look for a real light in that deafening confusion, to hold the hand and the purity of half of her. As they begin to take their steps towards an uncertain destiny, however, something stops everything...

Everything that happened next, I can't explain to you. Don't misunderstand, not because I don't want to, but because I didn't fully understand her or their desire. I admit I was selfish. Deep down, little sister, you know how easy it is to get lost in a word or a small but significant gesture for others. What is life? What purpose does it have if you end up constantly losing yourself in the void? How many more screams will I have to endure before I can know peace? I did something dangerous that today gives me relief... I have already been invited to heaven... Maybe I deserved to be there, only for not being able to be understanding with two friends suspended in oblivion. I don't know if today they are represented in the great nocturnal palette, but as much as the Moon wants to protect the designs decided by the gods... They will remain constellations with a missing piece, forever.

Here, little sister, I've finished my story. I'm sorry for hiding this corner of me from you. I'm really...

"... You're not selfish."

"What?"

“Like you said, they chose their own path, you are not responsible for their disappearance."

"You don't understand, I lived all their stories; I could help them."

"Big brother, stop it, I'm sure you did what you could. You, too, have experienced loneliness and closure."

"Shut up! I thought you understood something from this story! Instead, you're still the same little girl!"

"You saved me, big brother! Just say you didn't do enough!"

"… Me? Saved you? Don't make me laugh.”

"I'm serious! Please stop it!”

"It can not be."

"Big Brother!"

“…”

"Please, let's not argue..."

Big brother, guilt has always eaten away at you until today, right? I didn't know about this story, but you told me that you often heard voices, demons that devoured your dreams. What he experienced made him this way... But it was also that past that made you capable of saving me. Save me from a life that didn't seem to want to give me opportunities or ways out, no matter how much I tried to find the sun's rays again. The violence inflicted on us is different, but we were both able to share and complete each other in our pain. No matter what happened, where we are now matters. Oh, no… The silence is getting too heavy, what do I do?

"You're right, little sister, I'm sorry, I don't want to argue."

“It doesn't matter, big brother, breathe a little, so your anxiety will go away.”

"Theirs was a story in itself, perhaps I was wrong to even interfere."

"I think you did everything you could, you were very brave, in my opinion."

“I'm glad you see it that way, not everyone sees it the same way.”

"What's important is how we see it, right?"

"Don't be so casual. Come on, we still have to reach the other half of the road."

"All right"

We leave this place so beautiful that it seems like a majestic paradise and return to the starting point

"Big brother, where is the house described in the flyer?"

"It's still far away, but we're there now."

"Big Brother"

"Yes?"

"So we too have chosen the same path as them?"

"Exactly, but we don't have an ending yet."

"I understand, and is that okay?"

"That's okay, come on give me your hand. I'll sing you a beautiful song."

We walk side by side. How I missed walking like this with my brother. We are moving towards a road that has yet to be built, but will exist. And for such a light serenade, the real me finally calmed down.

"Big brother..."

"Yes?"

"Where are the lost pieces of the two constellations?"

"... Good question"