Chapter 1:
To whom outshines the Sapphire Star
The hallway pierced the dead room, and a person’s silhouette occupied the doorway.
Bed unmade and will never be made again, crumbled remains of papers scattered like fallen leaves on the floor, and a lonesome guitar that laid out its innards for all to see.
The person went through the murder scene and said a single statement, devoid of negative or positive emotion.
“See you downstairs.”
Another person, on the balcony lit by blue starlight, on the wrong side of the fence meant to keep them, him, safe.
Shadow covering his expression, he turned to look at the figure, who had already locked the exit.
With a voice hoarser than an entire desert.
“Let me fall…”
Under the hard light of the Sapphire star, he said softly.
“Let me fall, Lord of death.”
No one replied to his…
My request.
As the sharp pain in my chest grew, I went home and greeted the great duke of sleep.
While our classroom greeted me, filled with an undefinable stench, the brutal thousand hands of the sun assaulting my every being.
As the soulless holes stared at me with their unblinking glares, I sat on my chair, right next to the window.
And as the bell tolled, something flew down from peripheral sight.
“Another one… That makes three this week.”
“Yeah. So, did you review for the exam?”
Three times this week.
Fourteen this month.
Countless in a year.
Yet none was me.
I still live.
I still evade the Lord of Death.
No.
The Lord of Death simply hasn’t taken interest.
The same screeching from the chalk.
The same words from my pages.
The same expressions from my peers.
The same.
The same.
The same.
The same time every day.
The same bell.
The same road.
The same home.
The same.
The same.
The same.
The same bed.
The same ceiling.
The same…
You.
Your disgusting silky brown hair.
Your stupid round eyes.
Your ugly minuscule nose
Your perfect little smile.
Your irritating gentle voice…
Humming the tone of love.
The rhyme of passion.
The melody of life.
Every time I look at my screen.
It's you.
Always you.
Whenever I look at you, a sharp pain pierces through my chest.
Why?
Of all people.
Why does it have to be you?
The masses under the Sapphire star rejoice whenever you are on stage.
On the radio.
On the television.
On their screens.
Why?
You sing.
You dance.
You act.
Everything you do…
Uther perfection.
Why?
Why?
Why do you succeed?
While I fail?
Why does your life look like a painting made by a master?
While mine…
Another dime in a dozen of hundreds of failures.
The lights turn their heads at the mention of your name.
Gold plates carve your greatness into their bodies in devotion.
How does it feel?
What is it like?
To be loved, by life itself.
How does it feel to be free?
To live the life you want?
Gone far away…
From the monotony.
From the foul.
From the ordinary.
How does it feel to be talented?
What does the silver spoon taste like?
The sweet dew of success?
Or the sour, bitter, oh so bitter, taste of mediocrity?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why do you shine so much?
Why?
The sun burning my eyes, I stood on our jail's rooftop.
The cages around me. Blocking out the temptations of the Lord of Death.
Gripping my bars, I stared down the great void beneath me.
My hands clasped the metal nets, my legs quaked, and my heart began racing a sprint.
I'm such a loser.
Not even the Lord of Death calls for me.
How do they make it look so easy?
The same.
The same.
The same.
But…
Something was different this time.
Today.
Tonight.
Your song.
It was…
Different.
Your strong, determined voice.
Singing a melody of your hardship. Of your struggle. Of your desperation. Of your outrage. Of your pain.
It felt…
Real.
The visage of perfection.
The mask of greatness.
The silhouette of an invincible goddess.
All gone.
It was just…
You.
The sharp pain in my chest grew hot and wide. My abdomen grew cold and bare.
It was… different.
You were different.
I… was different.
Something changed.
Things were different.
The sun felt warmer yet cozier. Its gentle thousand hands caressing my face.
Colorful flowers appeared in existence. I don't like how they make me feel. But…
Upon entering the classroom, that putrid smell was gone, it was pleasant. Those flowers.
And for the first time in as long as I can remember, I heard my teacher's voice.
Listened to the duet of chalk and board.
I found myself going out of my way to talk to people I didn't know.
Found myself in places I had never gone before.
The windy seaside.
The ancient historical sites.
The verdant town park.
You…
It's always you.
Your silky long crown, adorning your head.
Your round jewels, peering into my very being.
Your cute flawless nose continuously draws me in closer.
Your perfect little smile.
It's always the same.
It was always you.
As I walked toward the balcony of my own residence, I started off into the sunset horizon.
Within that expanse of hazy orange light, a piercing blue, a piercing sapphire sliced through that hue curtain.
As I leaned against the railing, neither on top of it nor on the wrong side.
Like a normal person, I leaned my arms and chin on the metal railing, staring into the city right below the Sapphire star that impaled the orange sunset.
As I observed where you choose to shine, I clutched my chest, riddled with a different pain.
Gone is the piercing pain.
Gone is the warm plague that spread throughout my body.
Gone is the insatiable cold emptiness that kept me awake in my dreams.
As the hallway light sley the darkness in my room, my parents stood there, dressed for the great road.
“See you downstairs.”
“Yeah. Yes, I will.”
Oh, Lord of death…
Just this once…
Answer my call.
"Don't let me fall."
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