Part 16: Invisible Relationships

My brain went into full confusion as to how a single cherry could possibly prove what she was saying. The possibilities weren’t too far off to consider that those specific cherries didn’t look recognizable to me. I did know about the different varieties. Some look very similar but their taste and how they developed played a key difference in determining what kind of fruit it was.

Sadly, I couldn’t taste it if I even wanted to. I already knew that the disability I had couldn’t just help me to sense the right amount of bitter, sweet, sour, salt, or tanginess to understand what I was even eating. The smell is barely noticeable too. Because I was at a disadvantage in the taste and smell department, I had to figure out what she was trying to get at by other means.

“Umm… I hate to say this but there is no way for me to know what this is if you wanted me to taste it. I have ageusia so I don’t know how to go about this. Unless I touch it for texture or if you can provide some information on what it is, that could be helpful.”

The silence of the room was a lot more noticeable than before I said anything about my underlying condition. I was a bit anxious saying this to anyone. I lost a lot of new friends these few months by saying I couldn’t taste or smell things. They thought I was lying or that I was not someone interesting enough to be with. I’m barely fortunate that Imagi is somewhat there for me, but she likes to be seen as someone that can do things by herself. It isn’t bad entirely I suppose. Anytime I offer to help her though, she says she can do everything on her own.

As I was deep into those thoughts, Cherry suddenly touched her soft hands with mine. Her voice was so calm that I felt all of my nerves racing with this tingling feeling. It made me think about things I didn’t normally dwell on often. Like she cared about what I was saying.

“I know what that is like to not be understood. I have blurred vision without my glasses. I always have a hard time putting them away because I can’t see anything after that. I may have gotten used to it now, but I still miss being able to see clearly like I used to. I have presbyopia, which means my eyesight blurs the more I age. I started experiencing that at eight years old, so I’ve been going through that for half of my lifetime so far.”

Up until now, my life was full of people who didn’t want me to say anything about how I felt about what they said to me. It hurt. I know I am not the only one with terrible disabilities. There are some worse than mine. What left me shattered was the fear I would be disowned. The least anyone could do was listen to my story. I know it sounds like being around me meant someone couldn’t act normal around me. The thing is, I never said that they couldn’t be themselves.

They just wanted to pretend I didn’t exist.