I was Born the Unloved Twin
Spices! Spices! Come home and bring me spices! Sugar, spice, everything nice! Seriously hurry up and gimmie my spices.
Lilyanne and I are hard at work zapping the hidden gazebo again. I figure this is the portal that people are talking about that's capable of instantaneous long distance travel. The more we power this thing up, the more comfortable the raid organizers feel allowing teams and troops to use it. That doesn't just mean more raids but savings on costs on travel, supplies, and just the human fatigue that comes with actual traveling.
Travel, great in theory a pain in the butt in reality.
I would know, bleh.
Lilyanne sometimes gets bored with the charging routine. She's a toddler what do you expect? So we have the coax her a lot and encourage her with praises and affection. As the person currently closest to her while charge I guess that job falls on me.
"Go Lily go! Push out all the funny feeling things. Just like a poop!"
"Good job Lilyanne! Keep going!"
Too gross? She's two and still potty training okay? Really what do you expect from a toddler? The analogy works but uh, we still keep her on the nappies, just in case. Really, she's not quite there yet. It's perfectly normal for her age range but do not let her go without a cloth diaper.
She's still a very cute and beloved baby though. Anyone who sees her is completely enamored, as they should be. She's the blessed on in hiding after all.
Sometimes I worry about our near future, it won't be for a couple more years but our second baptism is coming you know? It's an unavoidable event but I do wonder if I can somehow arrange it to be more private. More confined to the family and not announced to the whole world that Yes, this is the Dawn child like the rumors so speak. More importantly, less "by the way the twin child obviously must be of the devil" because obviously that's how these kinds of stories work.
If there is good there must be bad. Where there is light, shadow lurks. If the great blessed child is a twin born on the first minute of the new year, the new Dawn, then what does that mean for the other twin, born of the last minute of the old year?
Really where did the stupid church come up with that? Superstition? I demand more hard evidence!
Couldn't we just have all accepted the fact that babies are just born, no really good or evil attached?
Lilyanne just drew all the luck in the genetic lottery and got some great Protagonist quality powers.
She also does not have as red of hair as mine now. Sure it turned a tinged warmer but yeah I really drew the short end of our genes. No magic powers and more of the redhead gene. I know we're identical but it sure doesn't feel that way.
It's not like I can just stick my sister out into the sun like a potted plant and wait for her lovely rich milk tea curls to turn red. I think father tried that for a day or two before mother got a hold of him. A worthy effort for science father.
Maybe the church is onto something, she gets awesome genes I get not so awesome genes.
I even got mother's Ohohohoohoho ouji-sama laugh at certain times. Gotta be careful around that or I might as well get drill horn curls and start waving a fan around.
"Tiwed. Gwampy Lily tiwed now. Rosa nappy!"
"Good job Lily! Do you want a nappy or a soda?"
"That's uh...sure both..Soda first then a nap."
"Rosa sweep too? I missie Rosa."
Ow my heart, that was a cuteness strike. Oh goddess above all the cute genes went to her. This is exactly why she's the Dawn Protagonist or whatever, cuteness rules the world.
"Okay then Lily, can you stay awake long enough for a soda and snack? You have to eat lots to grow healthy and strong!"
"Um, you sure you wanna use grampa as the goal here? How about mama?"
For some odd reason she's beating her chest like a gorilla with a very determined look on her sleepy face. Kids are crazy.
"Uh sure, you must eat a lot to grow as big as grampa. Nom nom nom let's get you some healthy snacks."
So damn cute.
I feed her a soda as I lead her away from the gazebo and where grampa is standing watching over us. He hasn't left us unsupervised for a charging session yet and I doubt that will change anytime soon. Not with precious Lilyanne involved. Besides I'm pretty sure Gable threatened him to take progress notes.
He's visited twice since he's left.
Once with Lukas, once without. They're getting along but obviously Lukas is a handful that requires some creative discipline. I said hi to him, looking exhausted but obviously much better fed and cared for, through one of Gable's magical communication portals. Promptly hung up though when he asked why my hair "got all red".
It did not!
It's still very much summer but we're at the tail of it. The heat is unbearably intense during the afternoon which is great for my soda testing business, but our mornings are beginning to feel too cold to crawl out of bed.
Fall must be coming.
Time is passing as peacefully, I wonder how long it can last.
I think that the happiest moments in my life are the ones where I don't have to think or worry about anything. That's why most people miss their childhoods so much. Everything is simpler, more beautiful.
I think that if Rosalia wasn't who she is, if I wasn't fated to fall and die, this would be a rather beautiful little life. The truth is that I don't think or feel very mistreated, nor forgotten. How off from what it should be. The mother and father of now seem to very much care for their eldest child. It's....odd.
Did perhaps, they loved the original Rosalia back then, before she was old enough to remember it? I can't remember anything further than what I've seen since day one. The memory of a lonely child cursed down an even darker path.
I can't recall anything that ghost girl, at least nothing coherent, before the age of 5. Lonely, it was lonely, and then it was truely hell.
I don't know if the implications make it better or worse but it gives me something to think and chew on. 5 years old then, by my second baptism. That is my time limit of when my time comes. It doesn't fully run out but the tutorial stage ends and I'm forced to really play the game.
I have more time then that really, Rosalia's fall was a slippery slope but a slope, not a cliff, none the less. By that comparison, then it starts gently sloping officially at age 5. When mother and father gives up on me.
"Rosa! Rosa awe uo hungwi? No, no eatin yet, u can't eat moutt."
"Huh? I'm not, that's called lips. I was chewing my lips Lilyanne. Sometimes people do that when they're thinking."
"No bad, moutt for nom nom nom food. Rosa no eat Rosa."
"Alright, alright I won't eat my own mouth."
The odd tension inside me loosens with Lilyanne's distraction. Lilyanne was oddly the only one who loved me back then, all the way till the end. That's right, I'll be fine when mother and father start acting according to plan again. I have myself and I have Lilyanne, I shouldn't dwell too hard on this strange knot in my chest. It must the original body's feelings, it just can't let go.
Their current likeability is already good enough, more than I was expecting initially. They actually....affectionate? I'm not sure, the idiotic couple is weird anyway. Still they really can't be cruel to a toddler with their Lilyanne's face, not just yet.
Even father's teasing and awful nicknames aren't really all that bad, not after what I've been through. Though I'll never tell him that. His mouth is still terribly rude for a supposed gentleman.
It's just an estimate but I'm willing to bet on that number, till I'm 5 years old. Since fall is approaching, half the year is gone. I have two and a half years left of this peace. A little over two years to build the foundations for my safety net.
There's no way that's enough, but it's going to have to be enough. I just need to hold out and hang on, building up stealthily over the remaining years I can cheat after the baptism.
"Who is eating their mouths!? Are my girls hungry!"
"Gwamp! Lilli push lots tooday. WOts!"
"How wonderful! And you didn't fall asleep right away this time! My Lilyanne is getting ...STRONGER!"
Ah yes wonderful, it's the idiotic grandfather and grandchild routine. To be honest grampa has good enough youthful-looking genes to pass as Lilyanne's father, just a very late one. The resemblance between them is even more striking than mother's. Big brown cow eyes, lashes included, bright ass protagonist smiles. Ah it's too bright, we're technically indoors but I can't look directly at the damn glow their protagonist halos seem to be giving off.
Only Lilyanne is cute though, grampa's supposed light is just obnoxious.
It's not just that, physically they have many resemblances or at least some that Lilyanne will grow into. Her thin eyebrows, sweet round peachy pink cheeks, heart shaped lips and face are all unfortunetly from the same gene pool as grampa. They both have soft brown curls, though Lilyanne's is a much lighter shade like milk splashed into a latte.
This summer though it has a hint of light red highlights coming in. Nowhere near my own sun-damaged head of hair but enough to confirm father's genetics did play a part in creating the both of us.
How strange that still is, how I'm changing things in the littlest ways. Rosalia never had any red in her hair, then again she never went out into the sunlight. Of course, neither did Lilyanne.
Speaking of differences, despite being identical twins I am very much bigger. Not just older but I'm visibly taller and thicker than Lilyanne. In my opinion, I just look like a normal playful toddler. However my whole body is sturdier, limbs denser, I seem like I can handle a lot of rough tumbling while Lilyanne is still just a soft sweet little cherub.
She's been sleeping a lot more since out charging sessions, but she's been getting healthier. If t's like this her childhood fevers and spells won't be an issue anymore. I hope my sickly little princess in the tower can grow to be a healthier and wiser person as she grows up.
Also to be reasonable about our physical differences I do go out playing and overall exercise a whole lot more than she does. That's mainly why my skin is tanner and hair, well you know. I also eat a lot more, always have, organic food is tasty even if it's simply seasoned. I'd think it's safe to say I eat about the same as 3 times Lilyanne does.
"Actually my sticky rice cake, you eat twice that amount! It's a great appetite for a growing hero! Your enjoyment of storing up fats and nutrients for your future is youthfully invigorating!!"
*SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK SMACK*
Do not mention a lady's weight! How awfully, dreadfully, rude! I'm a healthy toddler! It means nothing to grampa's fortified muscles so take some more of hits and kicks! Ah ouch ouch ouch I think it hurts me much more to use grampa as a sandbag, he's like a giant wall of meaty cows.
"Oooohhhh! So energetic! Such vigor! The target aiming for my supposed soft spots! Yes excellent progress Rosalia! See my dear Lilly blossom you must eat lots and lots more to grow stronger as our Rosa does!"
"Right Lily, you have to practice moving more and eating a lot of good food to grow bigger like me okay?"
"Yesh! Nom nom nom! I stwong now!"
"Yes yes, our Lilyanne is growing stronger by the day and will only continue to do so! Both of you girls will. Did you feel anything funny with today's session my sweet wittle bunny? Any owies or sickies?"
"And you Rosa? Anything different today?"
"No, I'm still the same. I can't feel anything nor do I get tired, it's all Lilyanne."
"Well if you say so my little honey bun. Remember to tell me anything so granmpapa can take care of it!"
"I know grampa, or Gable will wring your neck for messing up the progress notes."
"Ack! Young lady! Who taught you such terribly inappropriate things?! Oh they grow up so fast nowadays."
I don't think I want to understand that.
I don't know why grampa bothers putting up an act when it's just the three of us. At this point, I don't know how much is a stupid act and how much is just, well his personality. Honestly, I really think he's just ....like that.
I sure hope it's a grampa specific thing and not a time-hopping reincarnation one so I don't go ridiculously bonkers by his age. If I even live that long.
Now that's a thought, a middle-aged or old Rosalia. How nice. I'm barely out of the spring of my life, how nice would it be to live to see autumn. I've never done that before. Both times I died too young. I may have lived two lifetimes but they were both incredibly short looking back on it. That goal is too far away but it must be nice to be able to grow old.
"Gwampi! Rosa hungwi! Wet's go!"
"Ohhh only your sister is hungry?"
"Lwilli hungwi too, nom nom nom now."
"Huh, nom nom nom eh? Did our Rosa teach you that one?"
"Mmmm! nom nom nom is for food! Rosa say cows go moo moo and Lwilli go nom nom and cwickens go rooooooooar."
To be fair the common chickens, not Gable's terrifying ones, of this world kinda do roar, it's a screeching roar. The kind of sound I imagine dinosaurs would make if they were the much smaller size of chickens. Maybe the horrifying sounds will die off as we domesticate chickens over time....maybe.
There's just so many strange but same things in this world. It throws me off. Don't even get me started on the undiscovered wacky shit that can be found only in dungeons. But I'm no warrior, no magical cheat and definitely no protagonist. Such stories and adventures aren't for me
I admit it's at least mildly disappointing.
"Hey old gramps? Did you know Lily really will be strong? One day, she's going to be scarily strong."
"Scarily? Well I don't know about that."
"Yay! I'm stwong wike gwampa!!"
"Not like you grampa, she can't wield any weapons. She can't take any hits or face anything scarier than a mercal kitten. "
"And that's the way a little lady should be! Or so your mother says, shame she was such a promising heavy hitter as a child. Well to each their own happiness."
I have no idea what that means but I don't want to imagine it. Our sickly delicate mother as a heavy hitter in what? Dress shopping?
Grampa picks up, one in each arm as he carries us off towards the canteen. I think he's weighing us at the same time, damn it. Do I really eat 6x as much?
"Hey grampa? Do you believe me?"
"What's there not to believe?!"
"She has such scarily strong magic but no way of protecting herself."
"She'll have a way, she's our Lilyanne."
Yeah, a mob army of devoted followers and a not so small lovestruck harem of the land's most eligible bachelors lead by one oh so stupid prince. They're so strong and trustworthy it takes a group of them to murder one magicless 17 year old girl in public. Wow, what 'a way'. I am so reassured.
"As will you! I'm sure if you don't like somthing you'll just make it happen yourself. As expected of our eldest girl!"
"Make it happen? I can't do anything grampa you know that. I'm not Lilyanne, I have no magic."
"And you'll make it happen anyways! Because you are Rosalia."
The vague advice comes with what I suppose is meant to be a handsome wink, but because it is from grampa it's just nasty. Have you ever seen a cow wink? Yeah that, awkward and maybe involves some unnatural forces, like bad photoshop. Great eyelashes though, did I get any of those eyelashes? Somehow I can't recall little details like that, Rosalia really must have had some selective memory.
"Then gramps, do I have the potential to be strong? No joke, can someone like me seriously be strong?"
"Of course, you girls will grow up splendidly however you so choose! Heros or not! You're my grandaughters after all! Hahaha!"
Again with the vagueness! Well, what was I expecting? At least it sounds like a positive sort of vague.
It's too loud, really too annoying being so close to grampa when he talks or laughs. Like being next to the speakers at a concert. But Lilyanne likes grampa's thunderous laugh and if it's for her I'll let it slide. I can cover my sensitive young ears though, I'm not snuggling, it's not what it looks like.
I'm just trapped with nowhere else to hide while I'm in the crook of grampa's fat arm. My giggling sister on the other side.
Lilyanne can't go into the baby sling just yet or else she naps and I can't be left alone without running off somewhere. Great reasoning, for trapping us, or well me, in a bear hug of a walk. Not that grampa needs any excuse to do whatever he damn well pleases. Oh well, I'll play along now because I am indeed hungry and his long adult legs are faster than mine.
I wonder what new things the cafeteria staff will make me taste test today?
About two and a half years left of this dysfunctional but not so bad peace.
The clock is ticking down for me.
Author: Writing is hard. It's like throwing disjointed letters in a bottle into the sea(of the internet). To anyone who finds this, thanks for reading.