The Cursed Love of Death

“If it’s for you, I would wait a lifetime, just to be with you for a single day,” I promised.

You laughed. “You’re so cheesy,” you playfully shoved me, beaming. I smiled warmly back, without a care in the world.

As the dozens gathered celebrated our union, a lonely pair of eyes watched from the shadows, glinting with jealousy.

***

In the old days of primordial beings, there were two twin gods. Eros, the god of life, was beloved by all - for he ruled over that which was living, including the gods themselves. Thanatos, the god of death, had no subjects, but was beloved by all for her kindness and grace.

Thus, they were the rulers of an immortal world - an earth that had known only peace without suffering.

One day, they stumbled upon the god of flowers. Eros, the god with absolute power, found himself turned down for the first time in his life. Thanatos, unaware of the contempt emanating from her brother, proceeded to live her life in blissful ignorance.

On the faithful day of the ceremonial vows, Eros cursed a divine arrow, and struck the pair of lovers with it. The arrow, invisible to all but Eros, cursed the couple’s promises to be twistedly proven, for all eternity.

Furthermore, the taboo of such a curse causes catastrophic repercussions. For Eros’ selfishness, the cursed wind that followed would bring the era of immortal gods to an end.

***

The stars and moon shone brightly against my tear stained face, as I ran my fingers along the cold gravestone.

"Wait for me, okay? I… I'll be waiting to be with you too," I sobbed softly.

The cursed wind whistled in my ears.

***

A year for an immortal is an insignificant period of time.

For the grieving Thanatos, however, it felt like eternity. She visited the grave of her beloved every day, speaking to them as though they were still alive.

"Do you remember the white lilies we planted last year? They've all grown now."

"The humans have taken over the earth. I'm somewhat worried about how well they will take care of your plants, my love, but I'll guide them the best I can."

"I'm the last one of us alive now. It shouldn't be too much longer."

The last immortal would gently place a flower crown weaved of the white lilies - her beloved's favourite flowers - on the tombstone, and weep silently. Then she would get up, and try to live on, without her other half.

A decade, for an immortal, is not a particularly long period of time.

"I'm starting to forget the way you smiled," she confessed. "It's been so awfully long, I'm starting to forget the little things."

Thanatos smiled hollowly. "I don't understand why I have lived so long. Maybe there are things I need to do. Wait a little longer for me, my love? It shouldn't be too much longer now."

A century, for an immortal, is a fairly sizable period of time.

Thanatos, standing in what became a graveyard for gods and humans alike, would hardly leave, choosing instead to share grief and sorrow with the first humans to mourn loss. For Thanatos was kind, and empathised with those who felt powerless - as a god who once had no power in an immortal world, she now used her power to soothe the pains of the mortal world.

"Perhaps soon I will have finished what I was meant to do. I miss you desperately, and I will see you soon - I must," she wiped her eyes. "I don't know how much longer I can stand being without you. It's so cold," she shivered in the cursed wind. "So cold without you."

A millennium, even for an immortal, is a long time.

To escape the humans who now hunted her down, Thanatos had no choice but to flee. She could no longer stay in one place, no longer settle down, no longer enjoy any peace.

In a world that would not even remember the existence of gods, she felt bitterly cold, all on her own. Without even being able to weep at her beloved’s grave in peace, the god finally cracked under the weight of a millennium of emotions.

***

A curse is not an incantation, nor is it a magic spell of any sort.

It is a desperate, selfish wish. A taboo desire, given power, that goes against the natural order of the world.

And so, the second curse was cast.

***

It was on top of the highest building in the city, away from the prying eyes of the public. I wanted to reunite with you under one of the few constants that had not changed since the days of the immortals - the stars and the moon.

I turned around, and laid my eyes on my beloved for the first time in centuries.

Our eyes met, and widened in unison. Then, after a fleeting pause, we ran towards each other, and embraced tightly in a flurry of tears.

“It was so cold,” I sobbed. “So cold without you, I couldn’t bear it.”

You tightened your hold on me, and I allowed myself to bury my face into your embrace.

“Shhh. It’s alright now. I’m here now,” you soothed me.

“You have a lot to make up for, for all the years you’ve left me alone,” I muttered. You laughed, breaking the hug.

“That goes without saying,” you smiled at me, and I beamed, without a care in the world.

The cursed wind whistled in our ears.

***

In an instant, the chilling cold enveloped Thanatos.

“Where am I? Who… am I? Who… are you?” Thanatos stared blankly at the stranger in front of her.

The stranger stared blankly back. “I… don’t remember.”

Thanatos’ eyes unfocused, and shifted to something beside the stranger. She stared straight into nothingness, entranced by an illusion from the only memories she could remember. She took a step towards the ledge.

“What are you doing? Stop!” The stranger reached out to Thanatos.

“My… promise. I want to be with them. It's so… cold.”

***

Months later, Thanatos would be found sobbing over a broken body.

“Why?” She sobbed. “Why return my memories to me when it is too late?”

The cold wind that enveloped her would not heed her sorrow.

***

Unlike the first time I became all alone in the world, this time I had no one to blame but myself. Sure, the backlash of my curse was not under my control, but I was fully aware of the consequences of such a curse.

Despite being consumed by the guilt I felt for causing your death, I could not help shed bitter tears of sorrow and self-pity.

Why did I have to suffer alone? What had I done to warrant this?

I squeezed your cold, lifeless hand, and kissed your forehead. “I’m sorry,” I cried. “I’m sorry I’m not strong enough.”

I couldn’t resist the temptation of being in your warm embrace once more.

***

Atop the same building we were a couple dozen years ago, your kind, selfless eyes met my cruel, selfish ones, and I instantly burst into tears.

You rushed up to me, and held me gently in your warm embrace that I had craved for the years I spent waiting for your cursed rebirth.

“I’m sorry,” my shame-filled tears stained your shirt. “I’m so sorry.”

Your hand gently ran through my hair, and I closed my eyes, taking in the smell of your t-shirt, trying to memorise every last detail.

I glanced up at you, through tear-filled, half-opened eyes. “Can you still love me?”

The cursed wind whistled in our ears.

“I couldn’t not if I tried,” I heard you say as I readied myself for the chilling cold.

***

The chilling cold never came. For a fleeting moment, my body filled with hope, thinking that just maybe, we would be alright this time.

I felt your embrace shift, and then your warmth left. I glanced up at you, through tear-filled, half-opened eyes, and my hopes were dashed.

You stared blankly and confused into the distance, straight through me.

“Where am I?” You turned towards the stairs, and I rushed to grab your hand.

My hand phased right through yours. “Wait!” I cried out, but to no avail.

***

I lost count of the number of cursed rebirths that played out that way.

No matter how desperately I tried, I could never get your attention. You could never see me.

Then, over a millennium later, after countless attempts, I finally gave up. Seeing your blank face turn away from me for however many times it had been, my mind recalled the first time I brought you back to life.

The sound of my footsteps running towards the ledge made you turn around.

“What are you doing? Stop!”

At last, I finally understood. The only way for us to be together, even if only for a while…

“Goodbye.”

I had to take you with me.