- A World Within -

What if it’s the wrong time and the right person?

Would it make much of a difference?

‘Is it time?’

It was a humid, summer’s day. The only thing I could recall were those final words.

I loathed how it echoed.

On the very cusp of it, I exhale and let go.

Marching onwards to the steps where our paths crossed, my mind jumbled in thoughts of what I could say to you. As they say, those bound by the red string of fate are intertwined with one another. Yet the gods created such a cruel fate.

Despite the pounding within my chest, my heart felt at ease. The air was too thick to remotely concentrate on one single thing. I relied on her presence so much that to be without it was lonesome.

A pessimist.

For everything that it was worth, I found comfort in the repetition.

She had a familiarity elsewhere that I could not reach.

The summer heat weighs in as I feel the tightness of my breath.

All to be heard, “I’m glad you came back.”

“There’s no need.”

It stings.

Did I hold her back?

What did this have that I didn’t?

Alone there, on the edge of it all. Somehow she still looked happier than ever. How could she smile down on me?

“It’s my Eden. Though, it could be yours if you would?”

I took a step forward, affirming my reluctance to her wishes.

The rays of sunlight beamed down on her frame. What came with slight breezes of wind, blowing by her. I don’t recall a time when it hasn’t been this way.

One call.

A step away.

I loved her. I love her. Still, in the moment between us, I couldn’t help but remind myself why we were ever here in the first place.

She pivoted around to face the skyline with a cheery hum. Something about the scene felt so bittersweet and beautiful to me. All of my anxiety shifted as I took another step forward.

“You always come - why is that?” She questioned.

“That’s ridiculous, don’t you think? Why else? I care about you.”

“Again. Why do you come here every time?”

“Because I love you.” I felt a twinge of pain in my expression. “Why would I not be here?”

A faint silence fell between us.

“You’re just as guilty as I am.” She smiled, turning back to face me.

There they were. Those eyes. There she was. She was a universe. I lived in her world.

Yet, her smile looked past me.

“You could never understand the one thing I want.”

When I flinched to close the distance between us, she threatened me with a step towards the edge. It feels too heavy - this air.

“I…I want to understand you. Just give me time.”

Time cannot be afforded to anyone.

Time is never a guarantee.

And all of my resolve was failing me as I looked up to her, standing at the ledge. Taken aback by an angelic silhouette. She reached out a hand to me.

In this reality, I had nothing to lose. Though it wasn’t true. I had her. It was all that I ever needed. This pull held me in. What felt like imaginary arms coursed around me, tightening their grasp.

“I don’t want you to go.” I choked out, racing at the thought of what was to come. She pulled back the outstretched hand and glanced back at the city. This rooftop feels a million miles away from the world around us.

“Do you know of Eros and Thanatos?”

“Why does it matter?” I asked, cautiously taking a step.

“Who do you think I favor most?” She danced around the question.

I grimaced, uttering my response.

“Eros.”

She turned to face me one last time. This time, her eyes seemed devoid of any signs of joy.

“…Goodbye.”

I stopped hesitating.

Slowly upon leaning back, she let herself go. I rush in to grab her hand, struggling to combat gravity.

Her small, frail hand clasped around mine. Thousands of feet from the ground and the cacophony of life. What was I still holding onto?

This feels heavier. The more I pull, the more I feel I’m losing. Everything and nothing.

Why did the smile hurt me so much?

Why am I always back here?

“Please. I will do anything.” I pleaded desperately.

My grasp is slipping.

I can’t recognize her face now.

This isn’t the same person. Who was she?

Her words are etched out. I can’t hear a thing.

“…Join me.”

It became clear.

The burdens I bear.

Thanatos before me.

My everything and all, I fear.

I followed what awaited me.

A World Within Eternity.