Catpurr 14: System Update!

Catpurr 14: System Update!

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Adam screamed, spinning in catwheels through a tunnel in the fabric of reality while vomiting rainbow colored goop.

“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHhhhhhhhh….OOOF!?” Adam was suddenly deposited from the purplish-gray void, dropped instead into a pile of muck that he splatted into despite putting his arms out to break his fall.

[-12 HP]

Oooooow. Adam groaned, his face releasing bubbles into the mud that rose to the surface to carry his sighs to the world beyond.

Picking his face out of the brown liquid and wiping his eyes, Adam was greeted to the sight of dense colorful flowers, bright sun, and a smoothly paved stone road bisecting a sea of green pines. Luckily, Adam had been deposited in the one area where there was mud, allowing him to break his fall.

Unfortunately, he was now covered head to toe in muck that matted his hair and was quickly drying against his skin.

“Oh… what fresh hell is this?” Adam groaned, sitting down in the brown goop in resignation. “More duckysaurs? Goblinoids? Maybe a flaming meteorite this time? Or! Perhaps teleport Junith here to finish the job with her stupid sword of akaLAME."

***

Elsewhere in The Holy City of Faith

"ACHOO!" Junith sneezed, the clawed up paladin suddenly overcome with sneezing fits as she gazed out the yellow tempered glass window that overlooked the Holy City of Faith.

"Blessings be upon thee Sister Junith, are you perhaps unwell?" a woman wearing the order’s white robes of the nunnery asked as she passed by leading a coven of other sisters of the order.

"No, sister Estia. However, I feel a disturbance. As if someone is speaking ill of thyneself…"

"Good Heavens! Who could possibly sully a warrior such as yourself?!" Sister Estia said in shock.

****

<<<Adam>>>

"With her stupid fleshy skin, stupid gold armor, stupid god." Adam ranted, remembering the woman's screaming face. “And most of all her stupid giant meaty hands!”

****

<<<Junith>>>

Junith squinted, her blood boiling as she sensed it, HERESY!

"No, I feel it! Someone is out there tarnishing our order's Holy Patron!! WE MUST PURGE THE UNCLEAN!"

""UNCLEAN!"" A chorus of crazed battle nuns shouted in unison as Junith's words.

****

<<<Adam>>>

"Gah! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!" Adam spat, flinging mud to the side as a noise pricked his ears.

"Oh, kool ta taht! A fres yob lla eht yaw tou ereh! t'ndluohs eh eb gnikrow eht sdleif?!" Weird words sounded out, drawing Adam's attention away from the mud and toward a fancy horse-drawn carriage that was covered in gold plating. On top, instead of an enclosed space as most wagons had, sat an opened box, revealing four individuals in fancy attire having a picnic on the cart.

However, what really caught Adam’s attention was the procession of full-plated knights, each soldier, covered in metal and blue capes as they marched alongside the ornate wagon as a protective detail.

Oh crap.

Alarm bells rang in Adam's head. He didn't need to be a high alchemist to know they were royals. For some reason, he just had a terrible track record when it came to nobility.

Besides the Emperor, there had been a run-in with a nobleman's daughter in the woods, a Duke he had polymorphed into a chicken, and also a son of a count who had warned Adam about courting death, only for the brat to later die in a magic casting contest with a girl who summoned a MASSIVE explosion.

All events that had disastrous outcomes which were in no way Adam’s fault.

Except the Duke… that one… that one was definitely my fault. Adam reminisced, wondering if the spell had been removed now that he'd been transformed.

Tracking the convoy that was rapidly approaching, Adam did the only thing he could think of.

He smiled and waved.

No sudden movements.

"Ylrettu cirabrab." A man dressed in fancy robes with bleach white long hair and a goatee exclaimed, nearly giving Adam a heart attack as he stood up on the wagon and pointed in his direction. However, the subsequent laugh and taunts from the other similarly dressed people in the carriage assuaged Adam's concerns as he realized they were just mocking him and weren't ordering the soldiers to attack.

The group of wagons passed by, ignoring Adam who sat there in the mud, eyeing them back. One soldier got close, tossing something silver that made Adam's hand lash out, catching it. He hadn't meant to but something inside had forced his hand, catching the shiny object that a soldier had discarded.

Opening his palm, Adam spotted what appeared to be a coin.

Huh I guess they think I'm just some homeless brat playing in the mud. Adam surmised, waiting until the last of the knights were out of sight before he got up and stepped onto the paved road.

Considering the lack of supplies onboard, the flaunting of wealth, and the pace the nobles were going, Adam figured they were near a town or a city. And he was right, as the next second that passed by brought with it a confirmation to his conjecture as well as a quest.

[WELCOME TO TRIAL 3]

[MANDATORY Quest given!]

[Visit The Human City; Vilencial]

[Possible Rewards: EXP 500, Copper Pieces x50, Cicero’s Gacha Coin x1, Minor Health Potion x1, Minor Mana Potion x1, ]

[FAILURE: EXP Drain 1000]

[You have three days to complete the task.]

[71:59:58]

Huh?

Eyeing the rewards, Adam realized something was wrong. It was too… reasonable, too safe for the task assigned. He didn’t know what exp drain would do if he failed to accomplish his task, but one thing was for sure, it was FAR better than death.

Adam opened his system, realizing that his system had updated again.

BETA SYSTEM v1.03

TITLE: IDIOT NOVICE OF ELI (?????)

NAME- Adam F. Glow

SPECIES: Nekoboy

LEVEL- 2

EXP BAR: 500/1000

MAIN CLASS- Nekomancer

HP: 88/100

MANA: 100/100

[SEALED FUNCTION]

[SEALED FUNCION]

Free Points: 0

STR: 7

CON: 10

DEX: 12

ARCANA: 20

SENSE: 9

CHAR:10

Buffs: Loved by Undead(Unique), Minor Blessing of Eli(Unique), Eyes of a Predator V1, Corrupted Blessing of Nyx(Unique)

Debuffs: Ha! You Sacrificed Your stats for a Cat?!V1(CURSE) Catsification V1 (Curse)

Skills: Animate Bone V1, Irritating Touch V1, Cat Claws V1, Identify V1. Summon Skeleton V1.

[VIEW SKILL DETAILS->]

[VIEW QUESTS ->]

[VIEW ????/ ACCESS DENIED!]

—--

Well, that’s certainly an update. Adam thought to himself, eyeing the sealed functions, experience bar, and lack of death threats. Almost as if someone had taken the time to go over and make the system more appealing to its user.

Adam sighed. This would be a definite and very long road ahead. One that, while painful thus far, was a much different pace than the constant running from inquisitors.

With his shoulders drooped, head low, and covered in muck, Adam picked himself off the ground and finally headed off in the direction that the nobles went.