Kimberly

As I left the school building, a loud gasp caught my attention, and there she was — her long, flowing black hair, peaceful expression, and open arms ready to embrace the world. Her angelic descent left me mesmerized.

But when I heard the bone-cracking impact as she hit the ground, I was jerked back into a harsh reality. Few people screamed, few people cried. Most people were silent.

Afraid to look down, I observed the varied reactions and expressions around me.

“That’s when I saw you, Kim,” I said. “Staring at her on the ground, with the same face and hair. As if the fallen girl had somehow risen again. I thought you were a ghost.”

“Is that why you followed me to the rooftop?” she asked.

“I was curious, but I’m glad I did. Otherwise, you might have followed your twin sister’s path, and we wouldn’t be sitting here in the park.”

Kim chuckled, her face illuminated by sunlight. “You fell in love at first sight with my sister, and I just happen to resemble her. It seems you have the worst luck in love; every girl you fall for is touched by Thanatos.”

From birth, a battle unfolds between life, Eros, and death, Thanatos. Those graced by Eros enjoy long, prosperous lives, while those marked by Thanatos face premature, untimely ends.

“What do you see when you look around?” Kim asked.

“Life,” I replied. “I see the joy and pain of existence. I’m not just an optimist; I understand the balance. Chaos and order coexist. Life is both sides of the coin. To accept it as is and live with it, that’s life. That’s what I see and believe.”

“Whoa! Deep.”

“Kim, life is beautiful but imperfect. Take that couple playing with their kids. They might have marital or financial issues, maybe both. Yet, here they are, enjoying as a happy family. They may face challenges later, but the memory of such happy days will help them endure and persevere.”

“So what if the coin never flips for them after this? What if this is their last happy moment? They might divorce tomorrow or worse, one of them could pass away,” she countered.

“If that—”

“Or what if one of them loses everything and is left alone? What then?” She interrupted.

“Listen, I—”

“No, you listen! You’ve never lost everything before. You have no idea how my sister felt, how I feel,” Kim said, tears welling up in her eyes.

“Then tell me how you feel.”

Kim’s voice trembled as she revealed her emotions. “I feel like I’ve been drifting aimlessly through life, lost and disconnected. When my sister jumped, I wasn’t shocked; I envied her bravery because I’m just a coward. I’ve stood on that rooftop many times, but I’ve never dared to jump. It’s not just about the balance of good and bad; it’s about pain and loss. I’ve endured so much, and it’s hard to see beauty when all I’ve known is suffering and despair.”

“Then give me a chance to show you the other side,” I responded. “Your past is full of suffering and despair, but does that mean only more of the same awaits? We’re still young, and life holds more than our past experiences. I’m not promising it’ll all be smooth sailing, but it won’t always be a downward slope, and I want to share whatever moments of happiness lie ahead with you… like those,” I gestured to the couple playing with their kids.

She looked at the couple, “I wish we’d met before my sister… Perhaps you could have saved us both,” she said, rising. “It’s getting late; let’s continue this conversation on our way home.”

We walked in silence for half an hour, reflecting on our conversation.

Kim began sharing, “When we were nine, our little brother was born. We were thrilled to have a younger sibling. But he was born frail and sick. Doctors said he’d need ongoing treatment and surgeries. Our parents had to work more to afford it, and my sister and I cared for him when they were away. We were okay with it, until four years later… He passed away while our parents were at work.”

Kim’s eyes welled up with tears, but she continued, “We watched him go, helpless. It felt like a piece of our hearts was torn away, and the world became a blurry place.”

We reached the lake as she shared her story. The setting sun cast a warm, orange glow around us. This was our usual parting spot since we lived in different areas. I stopped, and Kim wiped away her tears with a shaky hand.

I placed my hand on her shoulder. “It’s not your fault. You were just a child dealing with an unimaginable tragedy. Blaming yourself won’t change the past. What you can do now is find your path and create a future that brings you happiness. I’ll be here to support you every step of the way.”

“Thank you for listening,” She said with a smile. “It means more to me than you know.”

“See you tomorrow,” I said.

“You will…”

I left her there, admiring the lake. Seeing her look at it with a joyful smile gave me hope that she could finally see the beauty of life. Honestly, I wished she looked at me like that instead.

Upon returning home, I joined my aunt in the kitchen, where she was preparing dinner. I had been living with her and her husband ever since my parents tragically passed away in a car accident five years ago. I hadn’t shared this part of my past with Kim yet. I was concerned that revealing my parents’ fate might make her feel guilty for expressing her emotions when I had experienced what she might consider a greater loss.

                                 …

Morning arrived, a typical Monday, and I prepared for school as usual. But at precisely 6:30 am, while I was having breakfast, a message popped up from Kim’s Telegram account.

“Goodbye…”

With just the length of the message and the first word, I knew right away what it meant; she was back on the school rooftop.

Without hesitation, I bolted out, leaving my half-eaten breakfast and school bag behind. She claimed to be too afraid to jump, but the lengthy text I received made me fear that this time might be different. So, I sprinted urgently toward school without even reading the remainder of the message.

As I sprinted past the lake, a crowd of police and spectators filled the scene. I had no time to stop and see what was going on, so I intended to keep running. However, a bystander’s words caught my attention: “It’s a young girl; they said she drowned herself.” I froze in my tracks. It couldn’t be her, as I had just received a text from Kim, but I needed to verify just in case.

Beautiful, long black hair I could recognize even while wet, and an unforgettable face. As they slowly zipped up the body bag, I got a clear glimpse of her, and I fell to my knees in the crowd.

“This must be a nightmare,” I thought.

I pulled out my phone, desperate to confirm that I had received a message from her just minutes ago at 6:30. It couldn’t be possible, but the message was there.

That’s what I believed until I finally read the full message.

“Goodbye, Mike. This is a scheduled message. So by the time you get this, I’ll be long gone. I don’t know what to say honestly… But I didn’t want to leave without at least saying goodbye and thank you. Thank you for allowing me to share the things I couldn’t say to even my parents. Thank you for listening without judging me, and thank you for trying to show me the beauty of life.

But unfortunately, we met too late. My twin sister had already become my Thanatos when we met. She’s been calling for me, waiting for me, and I can’t make her wait any longer. I can see her in the lake, waiting.

I won’t be able to experience those happy moments with you. But I will be watching, so please show me how beautiful life can be, show me just what I missed out on. Perhaps I might just regret my decision and come back to you, lol.

Yours, Kimberly.”