The night is cold but Surrounded by walls is safer than being with " so, cold in human being as friend ."
Making friends online following " Asteria_g". Smile is full with fear , stretch of blood, fake emotion, trapped in some problems or phobia.
The name is Kirito Followed her online which was me of course.
My mind made up. I will interact with her. Someone needs to be with her or she will Parish soon.
March 8th after her birthday I made my approach. Befriended her in a short time .Earning her trust was a piece of cake .
Started talking her casually but gently.After hearing and realizing her miseries I was totally astonished. Her alone wish was to die in a piece and quiet place. I made some foolish promises very dangerous to be told " Making you say that I want to live because I am happy " said I " Even if giving or sharing my own happiness and consumes her total despair into my. -self"said I
She started to do everything what I said. Giving her advice like a psychologist.She loved animals and we always talked about animals . We also talked about which animal was our favorite etc. One day she said that she wanted a savannah but no one was approving her plus she needed more confidence. So I was there to get her that confidence and then we started thinking about the name of it. We had so many plans.
I always wrote many stories and poems to her . She literally loved them .One-day she said, " my entire life I have been listening peoples problem but nobody listens mine but you are the first one who listens my entire story". "I am really vulnerable to you, Kirito."
Also said " there is not a single day without a good night and a good morning from you . Which makes me so happy ." She started crying.
I listened her crying and to be honest it felt like I have to make her stop crying or I can't take it . She is to precious to me.
She was my pride My love , my freedomSometimes I asked myself Once I asked about her father but reply was silent. I knew he was not with her. He left her ." don't worry your Kirito is with you."" I know you are and you will be there always." " actually my anxiety and depression everything started after I felt loneliness of him."" understood." She just told me once that her father was a dirt player. And I am not an ordinary person at internet. In half a day , I founded every detail about her father and show it to her and she was literally shocked. " how in the hell did you get those information so precisely " " I am not your ordinary best friend " " I am your soulmate remember " " yes. Kirito , you are one heck of a best friend and my true soulmate , chuckles hehe''" your smiling is really sweet I love it"" I will protect that smile and make sure you are smiling all the time"" I know you will "
One morning she was cooking and making a little reaction shots story in her Instagram for custom friends. Which is why I was able to see her . Her reaction was again precious as always . So I saved those videos.
Also there a vital thing between us which was another promise. She said if any of us falls in love between us then we will separate immediately. And I respect that feeling. And I never crossed that line.
I was thinking of her as my best friend who will always stay Beside me whatever happens. I had my full trust in her .
There are some problems in me . Which was pointed to me by her. I do not like those people who drink and have tattoos. Peoples have their own taste ,own opinion. Gracey liked to drink but I asked her to not . For her own health and my satisfaction. Also never do tattoo which was also a negative reply from her .
Still she stopped drinking but not for me but for her health. She never lies to me . But one day her story in Instagram I saw she was going outside. She stopped going outside because of her anxiety. So , hard I see her going outside. I said where are you going. She did not reply.
Few hours later she messaged me and started arguing about your are always bossing me like I am your puppet. I am not yours to do whatever nonsense you say and I do . Stop ordering me or I will break this friendship. I said okay I will not order you anyone and I said I wasn't ordering you all the time I was advising you from the beginning. She wasn't the Gracey I knew before she changed. The happy Gracey is far more odd than the one I knew about.
She started insulting me and I listened them. I did not answer back with a bad work or behavior. Insulted me, my behavior and about my religion. She insulted me from my head to toe. And asking why aren't you saying something. I replied " I am listening"She said " I never stopped drinking" I was really shocked" even right now I am drunk " I am really sad and got hurt because she lied about me all the time . I said okay you can do whatever I won't stop. But we are still best friends right. She replied " we are just friends not best friends" I was really shocked.
I reminded her of the promise. She said I can't obey every little promise you make. I said" there are people who are greedy by helping or giving things in return they asked something heinous and but I given you everything just to be best friends and did not asked for any expensive or something crucial from you . Just begged for this friendship"
She didn't let me finish what I was saying.You are saying that I am greedy. She thought of me wrong. I wanted to meant that people do things for others to get stuffs which a bad way but I only wanted friendship not anything more.
She thought me that I was calling her greedy. She insulted me to hell and in the last message she said don't ruin any other girls life like what you have done it to me .But I saved you like ! But I did not text this message. I stopped and realized this is the end . Friends and everything is cruel.
I can't forget about her . It's more than a year since than and I still think about her .
At first I didn't realize why I was always thinking about her but my twin sister made me realized that I did fall for her . Fallen for her pretty badly. My sister was able to maintain my anxiety, pain, stress and depression. Family is here for me .
On that day she also mentioned that she did loved me romantically but she don't want me because I am not meant for her .
I remember long ago she said " Kirito, god send you to me ."" really you think so ?"" I did and also I wished that you came into my life sooner. So , I didn't had to suffer that much." " I smiled "
Now ," was it worth it"Yes!She once travelled to LondonAnd we made that plan of going there together.But it's not happening anymore.
I did everythingI did Taking away her despair, taking away her sorrow, giving away all my happiness to made her happy instead.
It's 31 October, 20231 year has passed
Consuming all the darkness made someone even more worse than she realized. After making another promise to being best friends forever Became a lie After some trivial matters argument arose Her happiness had no bound but overflow. "Some loner here become a burden"His talking, his texting, his appearance, his mood Started to disappoint that beautiful rose. Before the winter comes Someone truly happy, wingless Angel threw away the loner
Because that someone was really needing you " Gracey"Piercing the heart with Countless holes
"Drowning into the Sadness.." _--THE END--_
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