A Salvation from Her

There was a hand reaching out towards me. I caught it without hesitation. Suddenly, I felt a force dragging me down into darkness…

I opened my eyes, sat on the bed, with heavy breathing, and soaked in sweat.
“Ah, it’s a dream... or reality?”
I whispered to myself.
“It was like Deja Vu. I felt like I recognized this scene somewhere before.” 
I wondered that in my mind. I glanced at the clock. 3:55 AM, and I fell asleep again.
 ******

Today is August 15, outside was raining; there was a lingering sadness deep inside my heart.
I reached for my phone, opened the chat, and texted her:
“Goodbye. I love you.”
I sent a message and turned off the phone. Once the screen turned dark, I saw a reflection that I no longer recognized – an emotionless face. I thought to myself when was the last time I smiled happily?
Oh, I remembered. The days I smiled happily were when I spent time with her.
I won’t forget the fateful encounter day. The day we met for the very first time…
Two years ago, on December 25, Christmas day, the cold engulfed all the roads. At a bakery shop, it was crowded. There was a smile that caught my eyes, and my heart skipped a beat when our grazes met. I thought I fell in love at first sight. I made the first move to approach her. We started chit-chat a little and exchanged numbers.
“Nice to meet you. And Merry Christmas!”
She said and bid goodbye. That night, I felt like a gentle warmth embraced me from the depths of my soul.
“This cold is not too bad at all.”
I said to myself.
Things were going fine till I was being exploited at work, and feeling behind in my career. Unlike me, she got promoted. We barely had time to meet up and talk less. I felt like we were falling apart. The insecurity of feelings when she was not beside me started eating me up. The failure as a man and the pressure at work gradually made me depressed about the future.

 Looking at these concrete blocks standing one next to another; the scene is too overwhelming as those blocks keep growing so that not even dust can escape. As a part of the dust, I’m tired from escaping…

An oncoming summer breeze passes by, I smile with relief, and I know it’s time to let go.
A resounding crash echoed as the door swung open hastily, and I instinctively turned to find her glaring at me with anger in her eyes.
 “What are you doing?” She asks as she moves toward me.
I slightly step back which stops her from coming closer.
“I… I can’t take this anymore. I just want to end this.”
“WHAT THE HECK YOU’RE TALKING?”
She screams and starts trembling as she continues.
“What about us? And what about me? Have you ever thought of me? And what am I supposed to do after you’re gone?”
My heart aches when I see her tears start streaming down her face.
"I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I want us to be happy. But I think it’s impossible in the future because of how pathetic I am right now…”
I said with my head down because I didn’t dare to look into her eyes.
“I should be the one who says sorry. I’ve left you behind.”
I feel a warmth from my palm. I look down and see her hand gently grabbing mine. Her other hand softly caressed my cheek. I slowly move my graze to meet hers.
“I have some bad days, too. So it’s okay to feel pathetic sometimes. You said you want us to be happy, and so do I. You’re the source of my happiness.”
“Am I?”
I asked.
“Yes, of course you are.”
 She smiles, “I’m sorry for not paying attention to how you felt. But from now on, let’s be open about our feelings and create lasting memories together. “
She hugs me so tight, just like she is afraid that I’ll be disappearing at any second. I try to hold back my tears, but I can’t. Tears start streaming down as if they’ve finally discovered their way out. She’s soothing me with her hands patting my back until I calm down. She whispers softly in my ears:
“Shall we leave this place?”
“Yeah... Let’s leave this place.”
I reply without hesitation. 

The weakness and strength of human beings always surpass their imagination. Sometimes, I can be so fragile that a single sentence can bring tears to my eyes, and sometimes I discover that I can endure much more than a treacherous long journey. People's beliefs will always be different. Some people believe that God embodies faith or brings healing miracles to them during this harsh life. If there were Gods in this world, she would be my God. I believe in her. Her appearance has empowered me to step forward for a long time. She makes me believe in us.
She shows me the picture that has us holding hands, with the sun shining through the clear, blue sky, casting radiant and warm lights onto our smiling faces.