Tomorrow And Forevermore

A crimson flower rested on my mother’s grave alongside some others which had already begun wilting. After shooing away the butterflies fluttering around her grave, I threw the flowers away and cleaned the surroundings up before sighing and taking one last look at her.

“Sorry that I couldn’t come meet you these past few weeks, Mom. Had my exams going on. I know you would’ve scolded me if I left my studies to come see you.” I gave a frail smile, “I… wish you were here to do that.”

I made my way to the bus stop nearby and caught the next bus.

It’s been two years since my mom passed. Honestly, she was the only one who ever really understood me. I used to spend most of my time with her since I didn’t have many friends in high school. Her absence left an unending void in my heart.

All of it led me to become more interested in the concept of death and afterlife.

While sitting in the backseat of the bus, I pulled out a book named “Death’s Shadow”. It had information about various Greek myths including Hades and the underworld, but one particular thing caught my eye—Thanatos, the God of Death. He is said to come for those whose times allotted by Fates had run out.

They say that only some chosen people who are close to their end can see Thanatos.

I wonder if Mom saw him too.

By the time I snapped out of my thoughts, I had reached close to home.

As I reached our driveway, I saw my father lying dazed against our front door.

I rushed to him to pick him up and was immediately greeted by a strong stench of alcohol.

“E-Ethan… that you?” His speech was slurred.

I took him in, “How many times do I have to tell you this? You can’t keep this up, Dad!”

“Oh just shut up, ya’ bastard.” He crashed on the sofa.

“When will you understand? The damage you’re doing to our-”

“I said shut up!” He toppled a vase off the table before him.

I kept my mouth shut and quickly went to my room and shut the door.

Dad had been that way since mom left us. I had forgotten how he looked sober. The only way our household survived only because of the money my brother sent while working in another country.

Sleep didn’t come easy to me as I heard my father breaking things and wailing out my mother’s name yet again.

The next day, I got to school in a hurry, got through classes and sat at the library to read the book again.

As I flipped through the pages, I felt a cold chill run down my spine and I looked around.

I noticed a group of girls walking out of the library, among them was a rather frail-looking girl with pale skin. She seemed rather skittish and I felt concerned for her but I brushed it off and returned to my book.

Maybe if I am close to death, I can see Thanatos too. Maybe… I can see Mom again.

I didn’t have much to live for anyway and if it meant that I could have a chance to see Mom again, then it would be worth it. I walked out through the rear entrance of the school, where no one could see me.

I had set out to find a way to end it all.

On my way, I heard laughing. I turned to see the same group of girls standing near the fence. They looked like they were grouping up on the frail girl while she covered her face as she cried.

“None of my business…” I whispered to myself as I was about to leave.

Something in me made me stop in my tracks.

I took a deep breath and dashed straight for them. I grabbed the frail girl’s hand and pulled her along with me. By the time I stopped our sprint, we had reached a bridge in a park nearby.

“Why did you do that?” The girl asked, panting heavily.

“Honestly, I have no idea.”

She extended a hand and said, “Luna.”

“Ethan.” I shook her hand.

“Thank you for that.” She looked at the river far below the bridge.

“It was nothing.”

She noticed the book in my hands.

“I know that one. Do you like reading it?”

“Yeah, I am intrigued by death.”

“Looks like our interests match. You wanna talk about it?”

“Absolutely.”

Over the next few hours, we talked about everything we knew about Greek mythology. She was interested in Thanatos and the concept of a life after death just like me.

Since that day, we met up every day after class and discussed various things as we explored new places. We found out soon that we had a lot more in common and eventually we grew closer. I got so used to her that going even a single day without her felt wrong.

The world seemed to be brighter with her around, and everything seemed to have meaning again. As a couple of months passed, things became better; My father went back to being sober, I made friends at school, and even the food I ate had a taste that I never noticed.

Eventually, I forgot about wanting to die.

Throughout everything we experienced, there was one thing I found odd.

I never could remember how her eyes looked.

One day while walking through the school corridors together, she collapsed to the ground. She was taken to the hospital and when I got there to meet her, she told me about having a terminal illness that she was too afraid to tell me about before.

The perfect world built around me seemed to slowly crumble as I heard those words. I slowly began to realise that nothing had ever truly become better, it was just my imagination.

Over the following days, I found more bottles in my father’s room, my friends were talking behind my back and the food began to taste bland, almost repulsive.

The cold grip of death around my neck had returned.

Day by day, her condition worsened and so did my will to live.

“I don’t want to die like this.” She spoke, “I am not meant to die like this.”

She told me that she wanted to end herself before the disease claimed her in a few days.

I agreed with her that the world wasn’t worth living in anymore. She smiled for the first time as I said that and suggested that we go to the bridge where we met and end this suffering together. She wanted me to take her there since she was too weak to do it herself.

Without a second thought, I promised that I’d be there.

That night as I sat in my room thinking about being so close to death, I felt fear growing within me. Out of sheer terror, I didn’t go to her over the next few days and later got to know about her succumbing to the disease.

Since then, I haven’t been able to sleep. Not a single moment passed where her words didn’t resonate in my mind. I wanted to tell myself that it wasn’t my fault, that I was just too scared, but I couldn’t believe my own words.

I kept hearing her voice calling my name. Even my father’s wails sounded like her crying out for me in her final moments.

I have had enough! I don’t want to suffer anymore!

The rest of the time dissolved into a blur, as I found myself under the night sky at the same park where we first talked.

I looked up to find Luna looking over the bridge. As I walked forward, she turned to me and for the first time, I could see her beautiful light blue eyes.

A gentle smile crept on her face as she saw me.

She extended her hand towards me and I noticed delicate yet graceful butterflies fluttering around her.

Nothing mattered to me at that moment. Only her. I wanted to be with her.

I gently took her hand and knew everything was going to be okay.

They say that only some chosen people who are close to their end can see Thanatos, the God of Death.

She was my God of Death.

And after that, I could be with her.

Tomorrow and forevermore.

My final thoughts faded as I took her hand and we set off running toward the night sky.