Regret

"Do you regret it?"

The voice echoed in the darkness and resonated in my mind as I floated in the endless void.

"You've lived the way you always thought was best. Do you not regret it?"

The words reverberated, echoing. It was the moment of the final reflection when all choices and experiences became clear before the abyss.

My life had been shaped by a constant routine, years of hard work, and the building of a secure future. I took pride in it, but I saw the opposite approach in my coworker. She lived in the present without worries about tomorrow, enjoying life with a smile on her face. I admired her, but I couldn't comprehend her seemingly carefree lifestyle.

I returned home late at night after long workdays when my coworker insisted that I needed to leave work. She was beautiful, I admitted, but our mindsets were like oil and water.

While I worked hard to build a solid foundation for my life, she reveled in parties and bars, savoring the present. I grew frustrated when she called me late at night, asking me to pick her up somewhere. I simply couldn't understand how someone could live that way, with no concern for the future, just allowing life to be guided by the present, and yet, she smiled every day when we met, something I definitely didn't understand.

The silence of the night and the tranquility of the serene atmosphere allowed me to relax and clear my mind. My hard work had provided the life I had; the extra hours allowed me to buy my first house, and set aside financial worries and occasional emergencies. I thought I lacked nothing.

Until I encountered that little girl.

On the last train of the day, she sat in front of me, looking at me with curious eyes.

"You look sad," the little girl said after minutes of silence.

"I'm not sad."

"Your eyes say otherwise."

"I'm fine. I have nothing to complain about."

"A life without problems or worries," the little girl said, placing a finger under her chin and smiling. "But let me ask you something, is there someone waiting for you at home?"

Her question seemed intriguing, and I tried to understand the reason behind it. Why would a little girl I had just met ask such a question?

"A relationship now would be nothing but a burden," I replied.

The little girl looked at me curiously, attentive to my words, even though her eyes hinted that she didn't quite accept what I was saying.

"Don't you wish to have a life with your coworker?"

How did she know about my coworker?

"I know many things," she replied as if she had access to my thoughts.

"While she lives in the present, I think about building a future. We are different."

"Don't you like her smile?"

"That doesn't matter."

"And if you were to die today, wouldn't you wish it were different?"

The little girl gazed at me intently, with a slight smile on her lips, as if she treated everything I had shared with irony.

I began to feel a tremor; the train's lights flickered, and it shook violently. I held onto the seat to find something to grasp, but the tremor persisted.

Until everything crumbled.

I couldn't see anything anymore; a dark and silent void filled my surroundings.

At that moment, I could hear only the sound of my breathing and my heartbeat, which slowed down with every passing second.

I extended my arms, unable to find support. I felt like I was floating in endless nothingness, experiencing only a cold solitude.

I couldn't discern whether my eyes were open or closed, but at some point, in that infinite void, I spotted a silhouette.

"Do you regret nothing?" It was the voice of the little girl.

The voice resonated in the depths of my mind, and I found myself immersed in my own reflections. Nothing else mattered; my choices, my life, everything had culminated in that moment.

I realized that I already knew the little girl, or rather, the personification of Thanatos, death.

Before our encounter, I used to think my life was perfect. I focused on work and the construction of a secure future. My coworker, with her carefree and festive lifestyle, was an enigma to me. She lived in the present, while I sacrificed my present in pursuit of an uncertain future.

As the little girl questioned my choices, I realized that something was missing in my life. I saw her as a silent witness to my actions, confronting me with a truth I had been reluctant to admit.

I felt a void, a void that couldn't be filled with professional success or material wealth.

I gazed at that silhouette, feeling the strength in my body fading.

The little girl made me face my mortality and the regrets I had avoided for so long. I realized that the pursuit of an uncertain future had taken me away from the present, from the experiences and connections that truly mattered. I discovered that I had never truly lived.

Now, in the dark void, I looked at the little girl with a renewed understanding. She was not just the personification of death, but also of life, love, and precious moments that I had neglected. As her words echoed in my mind, I found myself imagining how everything could have been different, appreciating the present, accepting the uncertainties of life, and feeling the warmth of that beautiful smile.