Mother's Land Embrace

8 October,
The warm red sun beams shone bright in the sky announcing the start of a new day.

I rubbed my swollen eyes after a tiring day with many more hours of work just like how is it in any black company.

"Another day of hellish work will start soon." I murmured to myself.

I left my bed and looked at the clock that was hanged on the wall
"6:39 pm"

It seems the sky wasn't rosing as I thought but setting...

It seems I overslept because it was the weekend... But I will have more work once I step the company doors.

The sunset, a view that has a deep memory craved into my mind of how I met my lover.

Checking my phone, I noticed new messages from her.

"Sorry, I'm going back."
"Goodbye."

It was just few words but it made chills run through my spines.
I have to stop her.

I run through the building towards the station and directly to the port.

I thought of taking a Taxi just in case I was late but seeing the traffic jam made me give up the idea.

I was praying and hoping that she is waiting like everytime before, no matter how long it took me to see her message she wait for me.

But it's different this time, she didn't say goodbye only, she said she is going back.

I ran with all I had towards the port where she was.

She was there standing in the edge looking towards the see just like the first time I saw her.

She was going to end it back then when I saved her but this time is different.

As a doctor, she had so many stress going here and there and I understand that she wanted to end it but giving up instead of fighting isn't right.

But today was totally different, It's not different because she isn't going to end it this time, but she is going to end it somewhere far away where I won't be able to even say goodbye.

"*Pant*... *Pant*"

My pants made her aware of my presence yet she didn't spare me a glance.
"You are finally here."

Finally?

After all this way running she say it like I made her wait for long?

"I decided to leave... The boat is coming soon. I already said my goodbye so you can say yours and let go."

A pain wnd rage stirred inside my heart by those emotionless words

"Why can't you understand that dying won't end anything? Dying only means moving the pain to someone else, someone that loves you and cares about you."

"I'm in pain... My family and everyone I belonged to died there and I'm helping other people here. As a doctor, you can't revive the dead or stop Thanatos from taking his governed ones... By the end I was closing by him but I want him to at least to let me be in my mother's womb, my wounded land."

"You know that going there means you will die, there's a war there and your family would be happy about you being the sole survivor."

"What about me!"
She finally turned to face me with tearful face
"I kept deceiving myself for years that saving pthers will be enough for me to make up for everything but he accepted my request... I'm going to meet everyone."

I couldn't help but feel suffocated by her words

What about me? Am I nothing to her?
Why does she keep believing that whoever is this Thanatos exist and gonna take her under his wings?

She turned back to look at the horizon, eyes filled with love and fascination

"Oh, my land... My dear mother land... I am a doctor yet I couldn't treat a single wound the devils has made. But fear not, I am coming to your embrace soon... Thanatos granted me his permission -"

She was cut with me hugging her from behind desperately begging

"Please don't go"

"But I have to"

"We can just go on ahead together"

"I'm exhausted... If I end it there my soul will be set free."

"I can't live without you."

"Then come with me."

I looked at her dumbfounded for a moment at her abrupt request...
Isn't that exactly asking me to end my life?

She turned into me and hugged me as she patted my head, her voice as sweet as honey that I felt hypnotized

"Don't you want to feel free?"

"I want to..."

"Don't you want to rest"

"I do.."

"Do you want to die?"

I do

I wanted to say that many times before but I couldn't, yet this time..

"I want to die, do you wish that?"

"I want to die too"

As I declared that, she grinned broadly. Her face shining brighter under the boat light..

Seeing such a scene, I realised something

If Thanatos is real, then she is the one for me

To love someone to the point of leaving just to die with them.

The fact that the boat came right the moment I announced my acceptance of death.

Everything's timing was so perfect to be coincidence

The night sky was dark

The air breeze was strong

As the ragin waves splashed on the boat,I hugged and kissed her showing my love and devotion.

Yet, sometimes the most profound act of love is to be together, even in the unknown.