A Thousand Paper Stars

When I saw him standing there beneath the stars, I knew he would die with me. The night I first appeared to him, he was sitting at the edge of the cliff, staring up at the stars. When I approached, he made no gesture to me, said nothing and continued gazing up at the sky. For a second, I thought he could not see me, that there had been some mistake. Then he turned to me with those tired eyes and I could not look away. I knew for sure that he was mine. Every night, I would find him there gazing up at the stars. He was so quiet and so beautiful. Sometimes he would see me, most times he would not. We only spoke once.

He was holding a jar filled with tiny paper stars. Please, take me far away from here. I could hear this wish echoing around him. I sat next to him and watched the world transform. An enchanted garden full of blues and silver and gold, a scene of a million colored flowers settled around us as majestic colors danced through the air. He looked around wildly, setting the jar down beside him. “A thousand paper stars” he whispered. He looked at me as I held out a poppy to him.

“So the stories are true,” he said, taking the flower from my hand.

“Do you like it,” I asked him.

He waited a moment, turning the petals in his hands and studied my face.

“I know this story too,” he said softly, “Thanatos.”

I offered a hand. “We can be together here. You’ll be happy.”

“I'm sure I will be. You’ll be happy too, won't you,” he said as he tucked the poppy behind my ear. “This place is beautiful. And you-” he stopped, “You look like peace.” He stroked at the petals and trailed his fingers down my face, “But I cannot go with you.”

The landscape faded and we were back on the edge of that cliff once again.

“I see,” I said, pulling his hand from my face.

“I'm sorry,” he said, not letting go of my hand. “I know you won’t be happy until I go with you, and I promise that I will,” he said gently, “Just not tonight.”

“I have to go now,” He said softly as he kissed the tips of my fingers, “and thank you for answering my wish.” He placed the jar of stars in my hands. “I'm sure we’ll see each other again soon.”

I haven’t seen him again for a long long time.

But tonight he is here again. He’s older now, but his eyes are still the same. Dark and heavy and beautiful.

“I remember you,” he says quietly.

“Yeah?” I ask.

“Yes, from a long time ago.”

“Yes, that’s right”

“You told me we could be together. That we’d be happy.”

“Yes”

“I wanted to go with you back then, but I thought I could change the things inside of me,” he stops for a moment, “ I tried for so long.”

I look at him as a breeze pushes hair around his face.

“And for a while, I thought I did,” he says, turning his head toward the sky. “Things didn’t seem so bad, but here you are again,” he says quieter, “Which means, nothing ever changed.” He lets out a defeated laugh and looks at me. “Except for you. You’re still the same as I remember.”

He begins to stand, dusting off his pants, “I’m sorry I couldn’t go with you back then. You’ve probably been waiting for such a long time.” He holds a hand out to me. “Will you let me make it up to you now?”

I took his hand and we walked towards the edge of the cliff. The landscape transformed again, to that beautiful picture of blues and silver and gold. Under a forest of stars, we stood together, looking out at the world created by a thousand paper stars.

“Is this what you truly want,” I asked him, one last time.

He turned towards me and smiled.

“Without a doubt,” he said as he pulled me closer to him. We stepped into the garden and millions of flower petals sank beneath our feet. Deeper and deeper we sank until we were falling into the night, drowning in the sweet scent of poppy and magic.

“I’m really happy now,” I whispered as I felt his hands tighten around me. “I hope you’re happy now too.”