A Thousand Paper Stars

When I saw him standing there beneath the stars, I knew he would die with me. 

The night I first appeared to him, he was sitting at the edge of the cliff, staring up at the stars. When I approached, he made no gesture to me, said nothing and continued gazing up at the sky. For a second, I thought he could not see me, that there had been some mistake. Then he turned to me with those tired eyes and I could not look away. I knew for sure that he was mine. Every night, I would find him there gazing up at the stars. He was so quiet and so beautiful. Sometimes he would see me, most times he would not. 

We only spoke once.

He was holding a jar filled with tiny paper stars. Please, take me far away from here. I could hear this wish echoing around him. I sat next to him and watched the world transform. An enchanted garden full of blues and silver and gold, a scene of a million colored flowers settled around us as glittering colors danced through the air. He looked around wildly, setting the jar down beside him. “A thousand paper stars” he whispered. He eyes rested on mine as I held out a poppy to him.

“So the stories are true,” he said, taking the flower from my hand.

“Do you like it,” I asked him.

He waited a moment, turning the petals in his hands as he studied my face.

“Thank you,” he said softly, “Thanatos, right?.”

I offered a hand. “We can be together here. You’ll be happy.”

“I'm sure I will be. You’ll be happy too, won't you,” he said as he tucked the poppy behind my ear. “This place is beautiful. And you-” he stopped, “You look like peace.” He stroked at the petals and trailed his fingers down my face, “But I can’t go with you.”

The landscape faded and we were back on the edge of that cliff once again.

“I see,” I said, pulling his hand from my face.

“I'm sorry,” he said, not letting go. “I know you won’t be happy until I go with you, and I promise that I will,” he said gently, “Just not tonight.”

“I have to go now,” he said softly as he kissed the tips of my fingers, “ but thank you for coming for me.” He placed the jar of stars in my hands. “We’ll see each other again soon.”

I hadn’t seen him again for a long long time.

But tonight he is here again. He’s older now, but his eyes are still the same. Dark and heavy and beautiful.

“I remember you,” he says quietly.

“Do you?” I ask.

“Yes, from a long time ago.”

“ That’s right”

“You told me we could be together. That we’d be happy.”

“Yes”

“I wanted to go with you back then, but I thought I could change the things inside of me,” he stops for a moment, “ I tried for so long.”

I look at him as a breeze pushes hair around his face.

“And for a while, I thought I did,” he says, turning his head toward the sky. “Things didn’t seem so bad, but here you are again,” he says quieter, “Which means, nothing ever really changed.” He lets out a defeated laugh and looks at me. “Except for you. You’re exactly as I remember.”

He begins to stand, dusting off his pants, “I’m sorry I couldn’t go with you back then. You’ve probably been waiting for such a long time.” He holds a hand out to me. “Will you let me make it up to you now?”

I take his hand and we walk towards the edge of the cliff. The landscape transforms again, to that beautiful picture of blues and silver and gold. Under a forest of stars, we’re standing together, looking out at the world created by a thousand paper stars.

“Is this what you truly want,” I ask him, one last time.

He turns towards me and smiles.

“Without a doubt,” he says as he pulls me closer to him. We step into the garden as millions of flower petals sink beneath our feet. Deeper and deeper we fall until we were diving into the night, drowning in the sweet scent of poppy and magic.

“I’m really happy now,” I whisper as I feet his hands tighten around me. “I hope you’re happy now too.”