Not so Smart

As Rika and Matcha walked down the hall, they ran into Mimi.

"Oh hey Mimi, whacha doin?" Rika asked.

"I'm gonna check out the arcade on the 7th floor," Mimi grinned.

"Think I'll join you. How bout you Matcha?"

"Weren't we going to see Mochi?"

"You can do that on your own though. Pretty sure she's on floor 6, in room 609."

Matcha grumbled as the three got into the elevator.

                                                                           ...

"Wow, so this is the arcade!" Mimi shouted as she passed through the revolving door and entered the arcade.

Rika whistled at the selection. There were crane games, VR experiences, rhythm games, and various other arcade games.

"It's better than the arcade floors at some of the malls," Rika cooed as she began playing a crane game.

                                                                      ...

5 minutes later, an old man in a suit attempted to enter the arcade, but bumped his head on the revolving door.

"It opens the other way," he noted as he entered the correct way.

He then noticed Rika by the crane game and went to the one next to the one next to her.

"Pussy cat, pussy cat, where have you been?" he asked aloud.

Rika shot him an odd glance as he turned to look at her.

"Sorry, wrong person," he said as he moved on.

He then went inside the horror arcade and took off his suit coat. He then draped it over his head and held one of the sleeves below his chin. He then flipped open the cuff link to reveal a hidden phone dial and begun dialing a number.

"Hello chief? Agent 99 Larry Maxwell reporting in. It seems the informant is not here.  ____. Where am I? The 7th floor in the arcade by the crane game. ___? It's the 17th floor viewing gallery by the picture of a crane!? Well, sorry about that chief."

Larry then hung up and put his suit coat on before exiting to find an unamused Rika.

"Don't tell me you heard all that," Larry pleaded.

"Do what you want chuuni," Rika grumbled.

"Chew knee? Sorry my Japanese isn't quite up to par," Larry stated as he began leaving.

Just then Mimi appeared and froze when she saw him.

"Why look at that, a platinum blonde. You remind me of a crazy woman I once met in Denmark. Look just like her in fact. Even down to the eyes. ___. Don't tell me you're that girl from Denmark."

"Codename: Laks," Mimi growled as she cracked her knuckles.

"I asked you not to tell me that," Larry groaned.

"Hold up, you know this guy Mimi?" Rika asked.

"Sadly, he's Merica- er America's dumbest spy, agent 99 Larry Maxwell," Mimi groaned.

"I assure you Laks, in these past 40 years, I've gotten a lot smarter," Larry boasted.

"So are you the chief of G.L.I.Z.Z.Y.?"

"No, but the chief did give me a title."

"What was it?"

"He declared me "Woefully unfit.""

"Uh, what do the acronyms stand for?" Rika asked.

"Great Land Incognito Zappy Zappy Yes."

"I regret asking."

"Vell Vell Vell, if it isn't my old nemesis, Mr. Maxvell," a male voice boomed.

Everyone turned to see a well dressed man with slicked back brown hair and a large brown mustache.

"Well look at that, you look just like my old nemesis Von Sigmund," Larry chuckled.

"I AM Von Sigmund!" Von Sigmund glared.

"Oh."

"Wah! You look like you haven't aged a bit! Are you a vampire!?" Mimi cried.

"Ah, so ze Danish girl, Laks ez here too. Nein, just like you, I vas frozen in ze ice," Von Sigmund stated.

"Really?"

"It vas ven I last saw Mr. Maxvell und his partner agent 86 in ze arctic. I had trapped ze two in an igloo und made my getavay. But I fell through ze thin ice. Ven I avoke, I vas staring at a voman with a hair dryer. It seems I was fished out und thawed out."

"So then what?"

"Vell, I found out ze vorld had changed and some young punk had taken over my position. Now I have to vork it back by taking over ze vorld. Zere are also so many new countries in ze Balkins. Vest Germany has also been meshed back with East Germany und ze Soviet Union is now Russia. How am I supposed to conquer ze vorld if new countries keep popping up like rabbits!?"

"That's where you're wrong, you won't be conquering anything because I'm taking you in," Larry declared as he pulled out his gun.

"You zink you can take me?" Von Sigmund scoffed as he pulled out his own gun.

"Why yes, see in these last 40 years I've become known as G.L.I.Z.Z.Y.'s ace sharpshooter."

"I don't believe you."

"Would you believe ace peashooter?"

"Not even zat."

"How about best bean bag tosser?"

Von Sigmund immediately fired his gun as Larry and Mimi dove out of the way.

"You seriously gonna fight in here?" Rika glared as she pulled out a knife.

"Ja! Zis ez  just how vee settle zings in za greeting card business," Von Sigmund responded as he ran past Rika to pursue Larry and Mimi.

"So what's the plan?" Mimi asked Larry as they hid behind an arcade machine.

"Well I thought you had a plan," Larry nervously stated.

"Why are you the one that makes me think so much!? IYAAA! I'm not a genius dammit!"

"Hold on, look over there! Isn't that the dome of shush?" Larry asked as he pointed up towards an oddly shaped chandelier.

"No, even I know that's just one of those fancy chandelier thingys."

"Ja, it looks nothing like ze vone vee stole from G.L.I.Z.Z.Y.," Von Sigmund stated as he rested his arm atop the arcade machine Mimi and Larry were hiding under.

The two immediately ran away before Von Sigmund began firing again. Rika sighed and quickly grabbed a laser gun from the laser tag section and dropped it in Mimi's lap, faster than the eye could see. Mimi's eyes widened as she pointed the laser gun at Von Sigmund and pulled the trigger.

"Don't move or I will blast you with this new Danablu zappy blaster laser!" Mimi grinned.

"Vat!? I can see ze beam! Ez it charging? Very vell, you vin zis round Mr. Maxvell und Laks!" Von Sigmund declared as he made his dramatic retreat.

"Well he got away, but it was good that you had that super weapon on you," Larry smiled as he stood up.

"Why's that?"

"I was out of bullets."

"____."

"Now, I know this might be a sensitive topic, but could you perhaps persuade Denmark to lend me one of those superweapons?"

"Oh, just grab one from over here," Rika glared as she stood by the laser tag area.

"They have superweapons here!? Japan sure is an odd country," Larry chuckled as he began pocketing the laser tag guns.

"Just... leave him be. He's always been like this, even 40 years ago," Mimi grumbled as she began to leave.

"Yeah, I can see," Rika said as she followed Mimi out.