New Game Plus, Part 1

MARCH 27th

GOOD FRIDAY

0 YEARS BNG

2054 AD

SOON-TO-BE 1922 NGP

THE BIRTH OF KIDNEY’S WORLD

THE FULFILLMENT

OF HIS DREAM.

“The time has come, beloved members of the Kidney Foundation.”

Standing in a long, colorful room of every important person in the world, Walter Roscoe Kidney’s long game was finally paying off. The prints of Ron Racoon scattered on the walls appeared silly back then, next to all the guests. 

“I’ve helped all of you a great deal, in the past.” Kidney circled the world leaders, translators, diplomats, and scientists like a shark, eyeing up the current President of the United States. “Extending your lives. Providing technological breakthroughs. Being a mouthpiece for your agendas.”

Kidney smirked, hardly believing this was really happening. All around the room stood an army of his Foundation’s strongest men- and somewhere, in a very special place owned just by him- he had acquired an amount of weaponry rival to any of the countries these people controlled.

“I have made this request to you before, but this time, I am serious- I’m ready to discuss deals, and I’m ready to get things started right away. If the world’s still the way it is right now, come tomorrow… well, that won’t happen to begin with. Because we are settling this. If anyone has any objections to the plan, let’s hear them! I may be able to provide more, er… motivation than I was previously, so, by all means, speak up.” The young old man, soon-to-be god of this new world, giggled.

“We appreciate your help, Mr. Kidney sir-“ A translator conveyed for China’s leader at the time. “But…” He hesitated before ferrying her next sentence. “Er… this is an extremely foolish idea. We have… humored you for your good… personality and… your wonderful presents. But- no, we won’t help you tear down everything we’ve sought out to make.”

Some guard looked at Kidney. He nodded with a smile.

“Just don’t shoot the messenger.”

Everyone screamed as the first pillar of the world government to be killed that day collapsed on the table in an act of violence committed by Kidney’s men.

Naturally, counter-guards drew their own weapons to the men, but Kidney was quick to dissuade them.

“Ever seen a scale, kids?”

Still grinning like a madman, Kidney sat his elbows on the table and positioned his palms to the ceiling.

“The people value a leader. Don’t get me wrong. All of you combined, well… yeah, that’s a backbone to the current economy and political landscape. Good show. To the people of this world, you weigh about… this much.” He weighed his left hand down just a little.

A few people were trying to call in bombs at this point, failing to notice their phones weren’t working.

“I on the other hand… am an immortal, unforgettable, driving force for culture. I am the first thing every child sees and the last thing every dying adult imagines. I am love. I am death. I am 30% of human happiness- the root of most culture in my nation and much of the current culture in yours. I am god.”

Kidney’s right hand came crashing down into the table, making a few guests jump. He laughed, turning to all of them.

“Do you honestly think… I can’t make it without you? That if you all just die, I’ll be out of luck? That… I… need you?” He cackled. “If I needed you, I’d have made you immortal instead of just “healthy.”

Kidney stood up on the table.

“You are all temporary. The joy of my world… spared from this horrid future, frozen in time for an eternity as the closest thing to a global Kidneyland you can imagine- that’s got the power to go on forever.”

Quite a few of the guests present that day shivered in fear.