Half-Way Heist

It was a rainy afternoon. Who the hell would be up this late? That's right. Rich ass Chinese people. Very rich. The type of rich where you can buy a car and crash it and not even care what happened to it. You just buy another one. Anyways, the greedy motherfucker who calls himself the Emperor decides to host a meeting in this shrimp ass palace with a bunch of pristine people or something. I stop in front of the windows and listen in on whatever these rich snotballs are saying.

 "Alright , our new plans for renovation are almost complete! We will finally upgrade this shrimp ass palace and make it much, much bigger!" says the Emperor. Hate that motherfucker. Anyways, I guess he has plans to expand the palace I've got my kicks on. 260 acres worth of expansion. That's the richest shit I've ever heard of.

"The Quang Chi will be here in no time to help build this palace. Aren't you all excited! Why the long faces!" exclaims the Emperor. "Dad, it's been 3 years you've been yapping on about this palace. It's just a dream. It will never get done as it hasn't been for the last, I don't know, fucking 36 months." says Daphne, the Emperor's boujee ass daughter. "Hey now, all is a dream until you make it a reality" booms the Emperor. 

This nigga ain't talking about anything. I'm gonna keep it real with you, I'm here to rob this motherfucker with the meanest, strongest, dopest Samurai blade I've ever seen in my life. Blade is sharper than a tack, grip on the sword is comfy as hell, and this bitch even got a mechanism that changes the form of the blade to FIRE. Did I ask how? Hell no.

 I just got it from my brothers in the Matsua clan is all! For free ninety-nine (and some drugs got the deal done too). Said they didn't know what to do with the clunky piece of junk. They gave it to me.

Oh shit, I ain't even introduced myself yet. I'm Getsudo. Don't be one of those, though. I'm here to tell you my name and that's it. I let my skills do the talking. If you want a sob story, open up Mary Poppins or some shit. This ain't no Mary Poppins. Fuck Mary Poppins.

Anyways, like I was saying with this dope ass blade. I plan to rob this motherfucker BIG. I mean, what they are referring to is the biggest project on the Southside of China EVER. The BIG expansion. I'm talkin REAL big. Bigger than the Emperor's daughter's ass. And she got a damn automobile back there but you ain't hear that from me. Anyways, the point I'm getting too is that this project costs millions.

What I'm going to do is sneak through the roof as usual, go down, open up the safe behind the Emperor's fancy ass homage to his father and BOOM, we set for life son. But first I gotta find a way to get this motherfucker to stop talking.

The Emperor continues to go on and on with this boring ass soliloquy. "Ooh, there will even be a spa and pool for you Daphne. And also a special room for me and your mother. Very special if you know what mean hehe". Edna, the Emperor's wife chimes in, "Knock it off, Simon". Daphne gestures her hands, looking in a fit to puke up the Boujee ass food she ate. "Ew, get a room Mom and Dad". "That's the damn point." says the Emperor.

Ok so when are these motherfuckers gonna shut the hell up and leave the room, DAMN. This ain't no damn epilogue. Or maybe it is. You sure are getting your content's worth huh. Just munching on that damn food watching me suffer listening to these rich bastards. Well I'll be happy to say that it's completely over and I'm breaking in this motherfucker like acne breaks out on a face. I quickly smash the glass, voiding the quiet tactic I was aiming for and go up front instead. And I didn't have no dope ass one liner, so I had to do it the boring way.

"Aight long story short I need all that damn money going into this steep ass project before I cut y'all's heads off". The Emperor looks surprised and utters, "Well that fucking sucks I paid 50 million for this damn security and you broke in like nobody's business! FUCK". The security guards all look at the Emperor and shrug. "So...ummmm...what the hell are you waiting for? GET THIS GUY". 

The security guards break their trance and quickly rush me one by one. The first guy has a grin on his face, real creepy if you ask me. Little does he know, I've learned Martial Arts since six. This motherfucker stands no chance. Ain't shit funny. I quickly get into my stance and as he motions to strike I cut his arm off nice and quick. "Ow. OW. OWWWWWWWWWW. MY FUCKIN ARM. DAMNIT MAN". There's no way this background character ass nigga got a line. While he lets out very antagonizing screams I chop up the rest of his body into nice coils of inbred shit right onto the boujee ass floor. HA! Got the other dude scared shitless. 

He hesitates for a moment, then remembers it's his literal fucking job to protect the Emperor. He then charges looking fearless and I end his look with an upward almost uppercut looking slice up the body and into the brain. The slice cuts him open and you can see both halves of him fall to the ground like how girls fall when they get caught cheating.

The final guard fronts me a 'fuck this shit' look and walks away. Good choice. He saved his time with that one. I throw a kunai into his back and it comes through the front of his heart, leaving him lifeless. What? Why you looking at your phone like that? I said he saved his TIME, not his life. He should've did his research on me, I'm a brutal son of bitch.

The Emperor quickly signals his daughters and wife upstairs. He then sets his concern to me. "So you are the one who steals from me. I've finally found out after years and years of having my projects ruined. I can't believe this." he says. I tell him, "Aye your security is hot ass it's a quick buck".  " I know, I know. One even walked out on the fight. That's some bullshit". He then looks at my blade, recognizing the look of it. "That's.....GIVE THAT BACK!", he says in disdain. I question him, "Bitch hell no, what do you mean by that?". He then says, "That's my blade. It was stolen from me. It is very powerful and precious to this family. You do not know how to use it! Give it back, NOW!". Dawg. Bro really thought saying that was gonna make me give him his blade back. "This blade too nice, I'm not giving this shit back old man!".  

"Fine, I will just have to take it back from your carcass". Woah, hold on a minute. This motherfucker wanna throw the ones?! With me!? "Shit bet, take it from me", I say. "Wait, before we fight, no gimmicks. Put the sword down. Let's use fists. Whoever wins gets my family heirloom. To the death". I've trained for a moment like this my whole life. Easy claps. I put the sword down and lock in. I watch his movements steadily. I soon realize this motherfucker ain't stupid. He quickly hits a nerve in my neck, folding me to the ground. I hold my neck. He pivots back into his stance and surprisingly lets me get up. Honor, I guess? I come back at him and he hits  me a sweep kick. I land on my face on some goofy shit. Man, I needa take this personal. I ain't getting whopped by no old coop! I quickly get up and lock in again, waiting on him to make a move. He lunges at me with a scary force. I sidestep and kick his shins. He lands flat on his face as well.

He gets up quickly onto his feet, gesturing me to come on. I accept his advance and lay an onslaught of punches onto him. At my second to last punch, he catches my elbow and flips it back, sliding me back to an edge of the palace. I'm in a fucking corner in a fight, damnit. I try my best to try to get out of the corner, but he just keeps jabbing me. I finally rebuttal with an elbow to the his face, dashing his eyes and creating a slit of blood over his right eyebrow. Now things are getting serious.

Let's end this now, I thought. I fake him out by dashing left and I land a jump kick fading away from him. He crumbles to the floor, weakly trembling. Looks like I've won this.

"Well, well, well. You got knocked the FUCK out. Anything else you got to say before I take that dope ass sword?". He then laughs a little. "I haven't had a fight like that since 1973. You are really strong". "Shit I know, 16 years in the lab will make you strong". He chuckles again. "I haven't seen that much fight out of someone since before the Quang Chi's existence. I think you are the one suitable for this blade. To carry on my legacy". I tighten up, "Woah. Hold on a second. I'm a random nigga that's been robbing you for 3 years. I don't got shit to do on the good side y'all got goin on! Bro I rob and kill. Give me a good reason I should carry your damn legacy". He responds, "I can sense your spirit. You are better than this. I know you like this dope blade. I want you to think about this. I bestow you this blade, The Core, with 3 principles you must maintain to keep it, or it's powers will fade". I listen closely. "You will first protect my royal family, I know you have training and strength in that field to do so.  Secondly, you will have no code in killing my enemies". My eyes light up. "Wait, hold on a second-" he cuts me off and finishes this interesting ass deal, "Let me talk. Lastly, I want you to use this code to kill the Matsua clan. They have killed innocents in this village, wounded my family, and have put a curse on my children to never be able to have offspring". That's my clan. The clan I grew up with. My BROTHERS. "And what else besides the sword?" I chip into the conversation a bit angrily. "You will get riches above any you've had from taking from people. The choice is yours". Wait, money out the ass?

"You are bribing me to kill my own clan. I won't do it". I quickly run out of the building but a voice trails behind me and says, "EVEN THOUGH YOU'VE DEFERRED, I WILL STILL GIVE YOU THE OPTION TO COME BACK AND TAKE MY OFFER".

I run home. It's dark as hell. A motherfucker is tired. And I just left that crazy ass palace with nun but the clothes on my back. I'm shitty. I arrive home. I walk tiredly towards the door and realize this don't feel like a homy feeling. I feel a hostile aura coming from my house. I rush inside and see my mother on the floor with a strange man in a mask and black clothing stabbing her. "WHAT THE FUCK?! MOM WAKE UP. WHO ARE YOU BASTARD?". I lock in on him and before I can chase him he hops on a bike and leaves. All I can see is an emblem on his back. A familiar emblem. An emblem I've grown up with and been raised by. 

A Matsua emblem trails his clothing as he leaves.