[Senkumo Saga: Book of Blossoming]: Broken Blossoms

Taeko and Mayumi's ears just barely caught the sound of Tsukiakari's lightened footsteps beyond the wall before she opened the sliding door to the room. Bishamon did not return with her.

“Gekko...what’s going on," Mayumi asked.

“Ebina, are you ready to go outside?” asked Tsukiakari, ignoring Mayumi.

Ebina's eyes were hidden beneath her hair, but her softened voice was devoid of all hope. “Yes.”

“Wait, Gekko," Taeko urged “What did Bishamon want you to do? Where are you taking her?!”

Tsukiakari knelt down by Ebina, letting her throw her arms over her so she could carry her on her back. She stood up, bouncing Ebina off her back a bit as she prepared to walk her out, away from the mansion, as instructed.

“Taeko, Mayumi...it's okay if you hate me after this," Tsukiakari murmured.

“Gekko,” Mayumi whispered.

“Let's go, Ebina.”

“Right...”

Perhaps, even you will come to feel the disgust that Tsukiakari felt as she carried Ebina out of the base. She could feel Ebina’s left cheek pressed against her back like it was the only pillow she'd ever have in her life. Tsukiakari figured that Ebina must've been gazing at the flowers and ponds in the garden as they walked by, wondering why and how it had all come to this. In an instant, Ebina’s career with the Senkumo was over, and the circumstances were abnormal.

“Gekko..," Ebina gently murmured.

“What is it?”

“I hope Taeko and Mayumi won't be mad with you.”

“Dummy...that's what you're worrying about right now? Think about yourself, Ebina. You're...”

Ebina smiled and closed her eyes, enjoying the long walk as they passed through the base’s front gates and the guards that opened them. Tsukiakari took the right turn, towards the path that led down to the forest. The moon watched over them with blinding radiance, and the trees seemed to chant for them as the winds brushed past their leaves.

“It's okay," Ebina assured. “I think it was a lot of fun, as fun as a life like mine could've been, at least. I never thought I'd make such great friends, nor have such great comrades to match. I have Taeko to thank for that.” 

The one other comfort for Ebina, besides her ability to cling to Tsukiakari, was the Senkumo crest that decorated the back of her black kimono.

“I'm proud to have been Ebina Senkumo.”

Tsukiakari, knowing she'd only burst into tears if she uttered even a single word now, stayed silent.

“Gekko, you were right all along. Dying in battle is its own reward, isn't it? Though, I guess I couldn't even do that much properly.”

Just like that, Tsukiakari was brought to her knees as well as to tears. Her crumbling spirit refused to let her go any further.

“I’m so sorry, Ebina. I knew this was going to happen, and yet, I still threw you out into the battlefield. If you had stayed here…”

“Don't you see, Gekko," Ebina whispered, her strength growing weaker. “Everything has unfolded exactly as it was meant to. No one is at fault here. Not you, and certainly not Taeko. So…stand up, Gekko.”

“Please don't..," Tsukiakari begged.

Ebina filled her lungs and shouted. “Tsukiakari Senkumo! Stand up!”

That was the first time Tsukiakari heard her shout like that. It was so beautiful and hauntingly angry that it made roses bloom in her bones and lungs. Most of all, beneath its fury and harshness, there was an infinite echo of love. And so, Tsukiakari stood up and continued down the path, entering the tree line of the forest.

The path beneath Tsukiakari's feet was gone as they walked into the deep of the forest. Along the way, Ebina would reach her hands out, snapping twigs off of the trees and dropping them on the ground.

“What are you doing," Tsukiakari asked.

“Nothing, really. Set me down. It should be fine to do it here.”

The smiling Ebina was set down against one of the trees. Her eyes bore no resentment for Tsukiakari, nor any misery regarding her situation.

“Thank you, Gekko.” 

“…Ebina, if you want, I can give you your last rites," Tsukiakari murmured.

Ebina slowly shook her head, her eyes half closed. “No, that won’t be necessary. The only god I’ve ever had in my life was you, Gekko. I’m fine with that. Actually...to be honest with you, Gekko...those twigs I snapped back there...”

“What about them?”

“It's easy to get lost in the forest at night. Light a fire with your sword on your way back, and you'll be able to see them. I made sure that they all point you back to the road.”

Realizing her final act of generosity, tears silently streamed down Tsukiakari's face. She wondered how on earth Ebina could be so utterly heedless to herself, caring only for her comrade in her final hour.

“That's why you did that," Tsukiakari laughed, crying at the same time.

“Be mindful of animals on your way back, Gekko. You're a beautiful goddess, but you can still get hurt. Protect yourself and look after the others. Not just Taeko or Mayumi, but every Senkumo under your command. That's all I ask of you.”

Taeko’s voice blared out from behind. “Ebina!” 

She had followed them all the way into the deep of the forest, panting heavily, with her eyes focused on her darling Ebina.

“Taeko," Tsukiakari exclaimed in shock.

“So this is what Bishamon asked you to do? Damn him! Ebina, you should be rewarded for your service, not sent out here to die alone! How can you just accept this? You took her all the way out here without a fight, didn't you? You were going to kill Ebina here without even explaining anything to me or Mayumi!”

“What was I supposed to say? She won’t survive her wounds, Taeko," Tsukiakari fired back.

“So you’d rather kill my sister with your own hands," Taeko screamed. “Do you think that’s some act of mercy?”

Tsukiakari slapped her hands over her crying face. “Of course not! I hate every bit of this!”

“Please, stop fighting," Ebina calmly urged.

While distress soured the expressions on their faces, Ebina only had a smile on hers. “Let it be. It’s only a matter of time, anyway. I’d rather go through with this than be in any more pain. Please…you have to let me go. I’ll only burden you if you prolong this.”

“No way…” Taeko gasped. “You wanted it to end like this?”

“Like I told Gekko, I’m glad to have lived the life I did. I’m proud of what we did with this clan. I have no regrets. None. I’d much rather die here, by your hand, than to spend my last days in pain. I’ve already made my peace, Taeko.”

Taeko fell silent, her head hung low. “Tsukiakari…”

“Yes?”

“I'm not going to let Ebina suffer. I know what I have to do for her.”

Tsukiakari knew instantly what Taeko intended to do. “But Bishamon asked me to do it! It’s my job as her commander!”

“I'll accept all responsibility for interfering. Don't worry about it," Taeko assured, her fistmclenching until blood ran from her palm. “In fact, I deserve whatever punishment I get from Bishamon.” 

With a nod of encouragement from Ebina, Tsukiakari reluctantly gave over her sheathed blade to Taeko, fighting back the thunderous sobs in her chest. Taeko wrapped her arms around Tsukiakari, embracing her tightly during that cold, wind-blasted night.

“I'm sorry for yelling at you, Gekko. You know I love you, right," Taeko asked.

“I know...”

“I love you all so much I can hardly stand it. Let me be the one to do it. You won't feel guilty that way. If Mayumi gets mad...I'll be the one she hates for life. I'll bare it all for you, so you don't have to. Say goodbye and let me have some time alone with her. I'll come down when I'm done.”

Neither of them could really believe they were doing this. They felt like phantoms floating above their own bodies, numb to every sensation except the pain coiling around their porcelain hearts. Tsukiakari pulled away from the warmth of Taeko's arms and gave a similar, loving embrace to Ebina. Both of them held onto each as tight as they could, as if the other would disappear at any second.

“I love you, Ebina," Tsukiakari sobbed.

“I know you do. You still have a long war ahead of you. Make me proud, okay?”

“I'll try my best...”

With Tsukiakari out of sight, Taeko fell to her knees, caressing Ebina’s face. She lamented how she didn’t spend every night with her like this, pouring her eyes over her unrivaled beauty. She regretted not caressing her like this more often, even if it annoyed Ebina. Most of all, she hated that she couldn’t protect the person dearest to her, that she didn’t take that arrow and die in her place.

A storm of guilt and anger swelled in her heart. Part of her even hated Tsukiakari for betraying her trust. Had she not followed them, Tsukiakari wouldn’t have said a word about Ebina’s coup de grace until after it was already done.

Taeko thought back to their first major battle, in Kyoto. She couldn’t believe how naïve they were, building up this grandiose image of themselves in their heads. The Senkumo clan truly believed in the phantom glory of war. They believed they would keep winning major battles, losing comrades along the way, but always feeling that their deaths meant something.

Taeko bought those lies the most. Kyoto was a fluke and war was not nearly as kind as she first imagined it. Each and every member of the clan told themselves repeatedly that they would never truly die, for they were martyrs for the gods.

In that moment, Taeko thought of trading the whole world for Ebina’s life. If she had the opportunity, she would’ve done it in a heartbeat. Both Taeko and her lord realized that no friend of theirs was worth sacrificing for some cause or ideology. More than their own delusions of grandeur, more than their devotion to the gods and the goal of the Senkumo, the clan had come to love each other as a family.

“Thank you for everything you did for me, Taeko. You will always be my big sister.”

Taeko gently wept as she drew the blade from its scabbard. “And you…will always be my beloved little sister…”

Tsukiakari entrusted it all to Taeko, and she felt even more horrible for doing so. Taeko's love for her friends and for the clan was real, and it was more powerful than even someone as expressive as her could ever describe. Tsukiakari sat just a short distance away from Ebina's tree, wondering what they were talking about, and if Ebina was really prepared for death. As a goddess, she couldn't even imagine what death was like.

What would happen once the blade pierced Ebina’s heart? What happens after the warmth and light leaves you, and the sounds around you all fade away? Will you go to Heaven? Will you go to the Underworld? She knew the destinations, but not the journey. And then...after waiting for so long...she finally heard it. She heard the pained wails and cries of Taeko, echoing through the forest. She had done the deed, and Ebina, one their dearest friends and comrades, was gone.

The rest of that night was all a muddied blur of endless tears. After Ebina’s death, Tsukiakari and Taeko dug a grave for her in the forest. They carved her name into the face of a head-sized rock, using it as her gravestone. They laid her down in her grave and draped her Senkumo robe over her body. Together, they buried her in the fading moonlight, both of them choked by tears and silence.

By the time they returned to base, Mayumi had already been filled in by Bishamon. None of the girls slept. What they truly dreaded most was having to face Ayadachi or the Otonougi twins tomorrow, and hear them ask where Ebina was.

Taeko made up her mind that night. When the time came to answer those questions, she wouldn’t downplay it or lie. She would tell them the truth, that she killed Ebina Senkumo, a sister to her, with her own hands.

Early the next morning, Bishamon summoned the three remaining girls to his base. Tsukiakari and Taeko bowed before Bishamon in the sanctuary, sunlight pouring in through the windows and painting the room in a warm, reddish-brown hue as the light bounced off of the polished, wooden floor.

Mayumi sat off to the side, trying desperately to hush her cries and mournful breaths. Bishamon, angered by how the task transpired, circled the two of them like a fierce lion, brandishing his brown leather whip. A heavy silence cursed the air of the room, save for Bishamon's soft footsteps on the tatami mats. It was so quiet that Tsukiakari and Taeko could hear their own blood rush through their hearts.

“Taeko," Bishamon growled.

“Yes, Lord…" she responded.

“Last night, who did I ask to handle the task of Ebina's execution?

“You asked my commander, Tsukiakari, my lord.”

“Knowing this, what did you do that night?”

“I chased after Tsukiakari and Ebina...and I took over the task. In doing so, I disobeyed you and disrespected my commander, my lord.”

“And Tsukiakari, you are much more powerful than Taeko. You could easily bring any soldier who disrespects your authority to heel. Yet, you didn't. You let Taeko do as she pleased.”

“Yes..," Tsukiakari admitted with a blank tone and expression.

Mayumi tried to gather the courage to speak. “Bishamon...”

“Quiet, Mayumi," Bishamon screamed. “Taeko, Tsukiakari. Expose your backs.”

“Yes, my lord," Taeko obeyed.

Bishamon stood behind them as they both loosened their kimonos and turned them so the back covered their torso, leaving their backs and behinds exposed. They held their robes close to their chests to keep their breasts and other sensitive parts in the front covered, neither of them saying a word as they did so. 

And so, Bishamon unraveled his whip. It sharply crackled through the air, warning Taeko before its hard leather slammed against her back. That one hit brought her to the floor as she let out a brief shout of pain, leaving behind a searing, bright red scar that leaked several streams of hot blood down her back.

The same fearsome crackle came before the whip to Tsukiakari's back, like thunder before a strike of lightning. Her teeth gnashed together as her back screamed in pain and blood dripped down her buttocks and onto her clenched feet. Mayumi shut her sunken eyes and tried sealing away their soft cries from her ears by covering them with her hands. Despite her efforts, those dreadful sounds pierced her defenses every time they rang out.

This painful ordeal went on and on. It carried on for so long that the two girls almost thought they were in the middle of an endless, karmic cycle. It went on until their backs couldn't even feel the whip anymore.

“We're done here. Those wounds won’t go away, even if you were to reincarnate," Bishamon declared. “Mayumi, tend to their lacerations so they don't get infected. Cover yourselves up and get out of my sight. Tsukiakari, I expect you to punish Taeko further for her transgression. If you fail to do so, I shall take matters into my own hands. Now leave.”

Both of them were beaten into tearful exhaustion, their backs horrendously scarred, along with their hearts and minds. Those initial years of innocence and triumph for the Senkumo died along with Ebina. All that remained were scars, guilt, and fiery, aimless hatred. Tsukiakari’s age of blossoming had come to an unfortunate end. And still, the worst had yet to come.

Unbeknownst to Tsukiakari, a letter had been delivered to Yoshihisa Ashikaga. The infant boy that helped spark the Onīn War was now a young shogun in his early twenties, taking over after his father’s retirement. It was a heavily clouded day as Yoshihisa stood on the balcony of the imperial palace, overlooking Kyoto’s reconstruction. Slowly but surely, people began to return to the city, knowing there would be plenty of construction jobs for the taking.

Yoshihisa wore his long, black hair like a veil over his head. His phosphorescent, brown eyes scanned the view of the city, his sharp mind dwelling on the fate of his dear friend, Masachika Togashi.

One of his men approached and bowed. “Lord Yoshihisa. We’ve received a letter addressed to you, from Masachika Togashi.”

Yoshihisa seemed to float like a specter as he twirled and walked towards the bowing guard. He took the letter from his open palms and opened it, reading the contents to himself.

“Thank you.” Yoshihisa said calmly, the guard taking his leave. He returned his gaze to the city, crumping the letter in his right hand.

“Tsukiakari Senkumo…” he growled. “If this letter has even an ounce of truth to it, there will be hell to pay. If I find you that you killed him…the Ashikaga will forever be your sworn enemies.”

Despite all of the bumps in the roads and the setback of losing Ebina, the initial phase of the Senkumo clan had gone according to plan. That night, Hachiman, Raijin, Fujin, and Oyamatsumi gathered in the sanctuary of Bishamon’s base to celebrate the Senkumo’s excellent start, and the embryonic founding of Bishamon’s new nation.

Bishamon sat cross-legged at the head of the long, rectangular table, while Hachiman and Oyamatsumi sat off to his right hand side, and Raijin and Fujin to his left. The five gods shared two ceramic pitches filled with plum wine between them, as well as servings of roasted pork, salmon, chicken, and rice cooked in sake.

The gods had each had a bit to drink, but Hachiman felt there was something else needed before they could get to eating. “Bisha, give us a speech! Make it good!”

“You must already be drunk,” Bishamon said.

“Nah, I agree! Speech time! It’ll make this food taste even better,” Oyamatsumi sang.

“Speech,” Raijin demanded.

Fujin softly chuckled. “It seems you’re outnumbered, Bishamon.”

Bishamon reluctantly took his cup of wine and stood from the table, stroking his beard as he pieced together a semi-inspiring speech. Though he struggled to find the words at first, he suddenly thought back to the speech Tsukiakari gave to the Buddhist gods before all of this began. He remembered sitting before the former princess of Heaven, hidden amongst the crowd of other Buddhist gods.

He smiled as he recalled the boredom he drowned in, forced to listen to a young girl discuss matters of the state as if she understood a single word that fell from her lips. Only in retrospect did Bishamon understand how much that mundane, lifeless speech actually moved him. It solidified his disgust for Amaterasu and her superficiality. The other gods may have been moved by the young Tsukiakari’s words, but Bishamon couldn’t swallow the idea an individual must submit their will and feelings to the state.

Every man and god that joined him on his momentous journey to build a new nation did so of their own volition, because they believed his vision for the future. In his new country, the state and the individual coexisted. It was a perfect balance between order, security, and liberty.

“There is no force in this universe more powerful than the individual,” Bishamon began. “It is the will of the individual that created this very nation and turned concept into reality. I know you’ve all suffered. I know your nation has casted you aside and left you to rot. Amaterasu repaid your fealty with certain death. I promise you, here and now, that this new nation will grow stronger than both Japan and the pantheon itself. It will be more powerful than any kingdom near or yonder. The gods who threw your lives away, and the lords who abused the men at my command, will all bow to us. They will beg us for mercy as their homes burn to the ground, as their lives are destroyed before their very eyes. And one day, Amaterasu and Izanami will yield to us as well. We are starting a journey no man nor god has ever attempted. Don’t blink, my friends. We are all making history. To us, and to the birth of our new nation.”

“Cheers,” everyone shouted.

With that, the gods drank to honor their new beginning, the death of feudalism, and the coming demise of Amaterasu’s rule over the lives of gods. If only Tsukiakari understood the depth of Bishamon’s ambition, or the involvement of the other gods, she might’ve realized the path she chose put her in direct conflict with her mother and her own homeland.