The Beginning of the End - 1

'I heard an incomprehensible noise that I couldn't even imagine was anywhere on the sound spectrum. It wasn't in any way harmful, but fear was instilled deep within me.'

'I held my resolve; I knew what it could be. Hold it, an iron-clad resolve. Even though my heart was pounding in and at my chest, wanting to escape and relieve itself of its burden, I held a firm iron-clad resolve. That's the only way. That's what I told myself.'

'My breath was bated. And as soon as my demeanor let loose, an unknown choir began to play a melody of many voices. It was then that I began to suspect the worst. It didn’t take long for me to become nauseous, and as soon as I almost let out my bowels on the floor to the beat of this unknown rhythm, my resolve had deemed it too late to turn back and run.'

The rhythm made the blood pound in my head. Sweat douse my clothes all over. This annoying sound, these annoying voices. It was all getting to me.

'A long shadow stood before me in the desolate room, seemingly materialized from nothing in the emptiness. Then, suddenly...'

'The thing was standing before me.'

'A grotesque slime, a million times the size of myself, of this building, stood before me. There was no roof above us, only the starry night sky gave setting to this event; even the walls had suddenly become undecorated and pure black. If you have a picture in your head of the slime, I want you to throw that away and picture something hundreds of times bigger, incomprehensibly big, something that would defy all theories in physics simultaneously. Something that couldn't possibly support its own weight in all dimensions all at once. The amalgam of blue and white, however, stood before me just the same.'

And the voice of the slime contorted into a human voice;

I AM THE BEGINNING AND THE END.

THE FIRST AND THE LAST.

THE ALPHA AND THE OMEGA.

???: THE EARTH IS MY GARDEN, AND MY WORDS ARE THE SEEDS.

And even in its strange energy-bounded form, the slime still graced the room, spilling out in a torrent over the four walls. And I stood there, quivering, looking at it.

'I was about to throw up again. I seriously wasn't okay. I don't know what the fuck I'm looking at, and I can't seem to calm myself down. Am I going to die? What type of death will this be? What type of experiences will I have to endure? I CAN'T TAKE IT. My body feels like it was nearly about to shatter into Planck's constant scale pieces. WHY CAN'T I STOP WITH THE GODDAMN SIMILES AND METAPHORS. I DON'T HAVE TO USE THEM.'

'It too didn't use them. It wasn't using them. Not the metaphors, but... "" (I would have fallen to the ground balling at this realization, but I knew that this thing wasn’t here to share experiences around the campfire and hug each other. In fact, I knew my life was getting worse.)'

'It was, to me, obvious what this meant. It should be even more obvious, to you.'

'It looked directly at me, with eyes that formed the second it decided to do so. Human eyes on a slime. A sight that could supply nightmares for multiple generations over. It looked directly at me... On my face, was probably an expression that would kill anyone who saw it. Probably.'

Other voices were suddenly audible from within the thing;

TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!! TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!TEKELI-LI!!!!!! T E K E L I - I I!!!!!!!!!!!!!

???: THE UTILITY MONSTER WILL NOW SPEAK THE TRUTH.

'I wonder what it'll do.'

THE UTILITY MONSTER: HE HAS DONE ENOUGH TO HIMSELF.

'I take it you don't read minds, do you?'

THE UTILITY MONSTER: THE UTILITY MONSTER AND THEM ARE THE WORDS.

I'll stop with the formalities then. What do you want from me?

THE UTILITY MONSTER: NOTHING. I SIMPLY FEEL FANTASTIC. NOTHING. I SIMPLY FEEL FANTASTIC. NOTHING. I SIMPLY FEEL FANTASTIC.

I just didn’t want to die.

THE UTILITY MONSTER: YOU DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOURSELF. YOU SIMPLY FEEL FANTASTIC. HE DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU. HE SIMPLY FEELS FANTASTIC. SHE DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU. SHE SIMPLY FEELS FANTASTIC. THEY DON'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU. THEY SIMPLY FEEL FANTASTIC. GOOGLE DOCS DOESN'T WANT ANYTHING FROM YOU. GOOGLE DOCS SIMPLY FEELS FANTASTIC.

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THE UTILITY MONSTER: I KNOW EVERYTHING, I KNOW ALL. I KNOW THE MOST VILE AND THE MOST PLEASURABLE. THE GROSSEST & MOST TABOO AND THE PRETTIEST & MOST RESPECTED. I KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE YOU, AND I KNOW WHAT IT IS TO BE MYSELF.

A massive revolver, that I would bet anyone 10-1 odds to have reached up to the moon, materialized on a hump of the slime, acting as a hand.

THE UTILITY MONSTER: IT IS ME WHO WILL BRING UPON AN END TO THIS CORRUPTED WORLD. IT WILL BE MADE ANEW. WE WILL FIND A LIMIT FOR THIS MEDIUM. THE BRAIN — IS WIDER THAN THE SKY — WITH EASE — AND YOU — BESIDE. THE BRAIN IS DEEPER THAN THE SEA — AS SPONGES — BUCKETS — DO. THE BRAIN IS JUST THE WEIGHT OF GOD — AS SYLLABLE FROM SOUND —

Silence resonated within the room for a while. Everything around us, slowly but surely, was changing in the rapid states. The world, except us, was moving through time at an exponential rate. I knew that.

THE JUDGE: I AM SEPARATED ONLY THROUGH PUNCTUATION AND SPACE, THOSE ARE MY WALLS. I EXIST IN ALL 1791 STATES ON THIS PLOT, THOSE ARE MY WALLS. THE WORLD IS CHANGING, THOSE ARE MY WALLS. I AM THE WORLD, THOSE ARE MY WALLS. MY WEAPON IS THE BANE OF IRRELEVANT DETAILS, THOSE ARE MY WALLS.

THH I

EHHHHH wanted

KHHHHHHHHHHHH to

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH run

LHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH and

IHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH hide

IHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH , but

LHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH my

EHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH legs

KHHHHHHHHHHHH refused

EHHHHH to

THH move.

THE JUDGE: THE WORDS IN THE SKY, ON OUR FACE, ON THE GROUND, YOU CAN SEE THEM. THE LIGHT, TOO, THAT TELLS YOU, YOU ARE "THE SCUM OF THE EARTH". I KNOW THEM. BECAUSE I AM THOSE FEELINGS, AS I AM THOSE ACTIONS.

I S I T R I G H T O R W R O N G:

DECIDE YOURSELF!

But the truth was, the choice didn't matter. Even though the utility monster gave me a choice, me answering wouldn't change a thing. Somehow, it hadn't realized that.

THE JUDGE: YOU ARE TO BE JUDGED.

My trial. What will happen? I was certainly curious about that. So, I stood there, silent and still, and I knew in my heart that the Judge wasn't there anymore. And soon enough...

It didn't matter;

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

What are you?

Whatareyouwhatareyouwhatareyouwhatareyou

The ever-present music suddenly dimmed out. Its tempo decreased as my heart began to beat even faster. The blood kept on pounding and pounding in my head. Everything became heavy as I anticipated the new scene.

Then—

A supermassive blackhole appeared behind the beast, and as it moved to face it, its revolver readied its fire instantaneously. In the blink of a second, a blast louder than all symphonies, all of the sounds in the universe combined, roared into my ear canal.

THE JUDGE: $&/&@/@/@"?!/-@@-"-"""""/@/@/':@@/@/@? they were loooking at me in the eye were like what the fuyck were rtrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr but I was lioke wbyhuy t t ret rt r rt rt r t r you do something like this why there sono piuint a t lall wehy t e t ee te te e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e ee e ee e e ee e no way right why whyw hwynhywbw n but i dint seew osmet olike that untile know so that s why i was on df fd fd f d d d d d d d d d d d d d dd d d dd c onfused until now untile they tol dme to s top wbut I was like why dhtough why ansd they er ee r e re er e ee e e ee and they were like no but s top sduedeueu de ueueueueueueueuueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueueuueueueueueueueueueueuueueueueueueu u ueueueeueuue uee e e e ed e e e ee e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e e ee e e e why thoughg would some tyod tyhat t Tekeli-li!!!!!! T e k e l i - l i!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I was being pulled into the belly of the void.

I know I’m unreliable. I know I’m self-conscious. I know that I am a bad person. I’ve known that stuff for a while now. I couldn’t forget, even if I wanted to, I’ll always remember every detail. I don’t need you to keep telling me that.

And though I'm about to be stretched limb for limb, contorted beyond belief and comprehension, in the cruelest and most painful ways. I know that, come the morning. Someway, somehow. I'll be here, in some far-off plot or dimension, in the same place, at the same time, doing the same thing.

I am the scum of the earth and no one to be aspired to.