Chapter 21 - Contemplation

Isabel looked at Mila, sleeping peacefully. The girl had pushed herself too far. Her body had gotten better since arriving in this shitty world, but it was far from healthy.

Well, no. Saying Mila was unhealthy was incorrect. It was more like her condition was continuously suboptimal.

She ruffled her hair, making more of a mess of her brown crown. Isabel sat down next to her friend and poked the hem of her tunic. Mila had collapsed soon after they had left the ruined forest patch behind.

When she had, Isabel had taken Mila in her hands immediately. Silinth had assured her Mila was fine, just tired. She wanted to say it was hard to carry her friend, but- Mila was light. Almost impossibly so. Worryingly so.

They had marched through the forest for the remainder of the day. Silinth had insisted and drove them no matter how they complained. And Isabel understood. They had to get away from that place. She had looked over her shoulder more than once or twice. It had been terrifying.

It was the first time they had faced a real enemy - opponents who were ready and willing to kill them. Somehow, Isabel had managed to stand against them. Somehow, she had defended her friends and Mila.

And they were safe now. Isabel watched the rest of the party suffering around the bonfire. Only Andrew was somewhat fine along with her.

Tiff and Kefo were unconscious as well. The girl had lost too much blood, and the boy had succumbed to pain from the burns covering his arms and part of his face.

Silinth was currently leaning against a tree, nodding off. He looked like shit as well. The fight with that scary old man had not been easy for their teacher. But it was reassuring to have someone so powerful guarding them.

However, Silinth was clearly hiding something. More than usual. Isabel did not know what he had done, but he clearly regretted it. There had been a couple of times during their trek the man had almost broken down.

All of them had almost broken down. Andrew was unhappy about their situation. For the most part, he spoke only with Mr Crow, who was now somewhere above them, scouting and guarding.

Kefo had apologised to all of them for his actions before losing consciousness. He had cried and begged. It seemed clear he regretted recklessness.

Tiff had forgiven Kefo. The short moment they had talked, the girl had forgiven. So had Andrew, or at least he had said he did.

Isabel didn’t. She kind of understood Kefo’s ramblings. He had lost his parents to the Temple. They had taken everything from him. The same as Tiff. Silinth had rescued them both.

But Isabel didn’t forgive him. She couldn’t. Because of this little shit, Mila had to risk her life. It was not something she was willing to overlook. Maybe with time, but not now.

Just thinking about it made her angry. Isabel took a couple deeper breaths and calmed down. The past few days had been disastrous for her.

Ever since Isabel had woken up in Mila’s room, her life had been a disaster. She had messed up every interaction with her friend. Why did her shield have to have Mila’s eye engraved in the middle of it?

Mila’s eyes were beautiful, yes. Especially when she had that dangerous air around her. They were like green wells of light, capturing everything around them. Isabel loved the savage disregard Mila showed for the danger when she showed her willingness to fight.

Even when Mila had stood over those men in that basement. Even then, Isabel felt unable to escape the magnetic pull of Mila’s eyes. The fierce look she had back when she finished off their enemy was engraved in Isabel’s mind.

Isabel sighed. This was so fucking wrong. Mila had killed a man in front of her in cold blood. She should be feeling-

Well-

Not what she was feeling. Isabel felt nothing for those men. She felt repulsed by the death, yes. The cooling bodies had been uncomfortable to look at. But she wouldn’t call it a trauma. It hadn’t impacted her the same way it did Andrew. Was there something wrong with her? Probably.

Better not think about why Isabel found that kind of Mila sexy. Nope. And she wouldn’t recall the lethal presence she exuded. The smooth movements of her limbs. The confident look on her face. No, Isabel would not think about any of that.

Isabel ruffled her hair again. They would be a nightmare to comb. At the bathhouse, she had managed to make herself presentable. Not completely. But now that she knew this hellhole had proper tools and products to take care of her looks, it was only a question of time before she could tidy up.

And then- What then? Try to seduce Mila? Confess? Isabel released a scoff. Like she could do that. If she messed up with Mila, it would be over for her. The current status quo suited her just fine.

If only Mila wasn’t so defenceless with how she acted around Isabel. Her friend has seen Isabel’s shield. She had to recognise her own eye on it. She had to realise Isabel’s intentions weren’t entirely pure.

Isabel was happy Mila had not been repulsed by it. She had taken it as a compliment. Probably. It wasn’t like Isabel had properly talked with her friend since she woke up in her bed.

All she had done was to run away. Isabel just couldn’t help it. It was so damn embarrassing. Was that why? Was that why Mila tried to get closer to her? Because she was running away? Was that why Mila touched her all the time? Was that why Mila’s voice took that low tone? What about those looks Mila gave her?

Was she sexually frustrated? Was that it? Was she reading too much into it? Isabel cradled her head. It had been some time since she relieved stress. Well, not really, but maybe she should do it more. Her thoughts were a jumbled mess.

Didn’t this happen the last time, too? When her friend was just friendly, and Isabel had read too much into it. She didn’t want to live through another heartbreak. But what if Mila was flirting with her? Was it possible?

Isabel glanced at Mila’s peaceful sleeping face. A small strand of her black hand had fallen in her mouth, and she was chewing on it. She looked so innocent and pure. Not at all like the devilish temptress that gnawed at Isabel’s slipping control. But her lips-

“Mind if we talk?” Andrew asked.

The sudden voice startled Isabel, and she whipped her head to look at the intruder.

“Try to keep yourself in check, okay?” Andrew sighed. “You look ready to punch me. Can we move to somewhere else?”

“I wasn’t going to,” Isabel answered, keeping her voice low. She didn’t want to wake Mila. “And no, I am staying here. What do you want?”

“I said you look like you would.” He shook his head and sat down next to Isabel. “Silinth said he will start teaching us some spells.” Andrew continued.

“I thought we needed those magical rocks or something before we could.” Isabel furrowed her brows.

“Yeah, I asked about that.” Andrew looked at where Silinth was dozing off. “He said those are pointless now that we have awakened our powers.”

“Did he explain more?”

“Not really.” Andrew leaned closer to her. “I think he said we need those because he didn’t want to teach us.” He whispered.

“But those rocks exist, don’t they?” Isabel whispered back.

“Probably.” Andrew shrugged. “But he said they are for children and whatnot. He didn’t explain much and avoided talking about it afterwards. Dude is shady.”

“Yeah.” Isabel looked at the man. “Yeah, he is.” She didn’t dispute it. “When do we start?”

“Tomorrow. After we get some rest.” Andrew answered. “Then we are going back to that training camp, grab some stuff and be on our way.”

Isabel pursed her lips. “Isn’t that dangerous? That Temple guy is probably chasing after us.”

“Apparently, it’s not that simple.” Andrew lay on his back and kicked out his legs. “Teach’ said his place is warded and secured. And we need to arm ourselves and grab some money.”

“Yeah, I heard that part,” Isabel remembered the short conversation during their travel.

They needed a healer. A proper one. Silinth was a capable mage - an understatement in Isabel’s mind, but he was shit at healing. Or so he said. She didn’t think he would lie about that.

So, the current plan was to head back, prepare themselves and head out. To where? Silinth had been vague. He only said they need a healer for Kefo and possibly Tiff.

“Hey, Isabel?” Andrew poked her after a long pause.

“Hmm?” She looked at her friend. Andrew looked torn and scared.

“What will happen to us?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean,” Andrew hesitated. “We almost died.”

“Oh.” Isabel looked down at her feet.

“And Mila, she-” He swallowed hard. “She killed them, Isabel.”

“Yeah.” She lamely nodded. What was there to say? Isabel was confused about it as well. It would take more than just a day to sort out those emotions.

“Didn’t even blink.” Andrew continued. “She is not like us, Isabel.”

“Andrew-” There was a dangerous undertone in Isabel’s voice.

“No, listen.” Andrew did not let up. He glanced at Mila, who was still sleeping soundly and whispered. “Don’t think I don’t see you-” He stopped. “Whatever. But she is not like us. Mila’s dreams have ruined her. There is something wrong with her.”

“Andrew,” Isabel hissed. “Shut up!”

“What about going back?” He didn’t stop.

“What about it?”

“Do you still want to?” Andrew looked into Isabel’s eyes.

“Of course I do!” Isabel answered with conviction, ignoring how these words sounded hollow to her.

“Then where do we stop?” Andrew asked. “Do we become like Mila? Do we start killing? Do we have to? It’s disgusting, Isabel.”

“Don’t speak about Mila like that!” Isabel raised her voice in anger.

Mila stirred next to her. Isabel hurried to look at her friend in worry, but she just rolled on her other side and kept sleeping.

“We are done talking.” Isabel coldly concluded.

Andrew got up. “You know I am right.” He spoke and then left.

Isabel did not answer. This was not Earth. This was a different world. The rules here were different. How could Andrew not see it?

But-

Isabel hugged her knees and looked into the fire. Was she ready to take another human life? No. No, she wasn’t. It was already a hurdle to just stand tall in a battle. But she could do it. If Isabel wanted to protect Mila, to have her safe, she had to.

It was selfish, really. Did Mila even need it? She was strong. Mila could fight and claw her way against the world. She could do it in a way Isabel couldn’t.

But still. Isabel felt like Mila was vulnerable. Something was missing inside her friend, and she wanted to fill that empty space.

Andrew looked at Mila like she was a monster. Isabel didn’t see it that way. Mila was just a girl. A girl who had suffered a lot and learned to live with it. She had been alone for so long.

How could Andrew not see it? Mila needed someone at her side.

Her contemplation was interrupted by a sudden noise.

Isabel looked at where Silinth was coughing violently. His whole body trembled, and he was visibly sweating.

Perhaps Kefo and Tiff were not the only ones in need of a healer.