CERVANTES - Simpler times

     "You're not gettin' it son" Says my father, as always I was the one being wrong. How could it be any other way? I take a peek at the envelope on the table, wondering if my curiosity for what is inside is bigger than my need for it. Like that one time when a new flavor of chips arrived at the local store when I was way younger, I don't even remember which flavor was just that it was something in a million years I imagined myself eating, but hey, I was curious. Curious enough to give it a try, went with Dario for them and... guess what? They weren't, you know, absolutely awful but they also didn't make my favorite food list. Dario thought the same so we moved on with our lives. Every now and then I remember those chips, more because its significance than its actual existence, every time I get curious (and it is way more often than maybe, perhaps, I would like) but something inside me tells me it would be okay to just roll on and leave said thing untouched I remember those chips, the feeling that, even if those chips weren't the biggest revelation, I was glad I took the chance because that meant I won't have the lingering feeling hanging over me that maybe those were the best chips in the whole world and just for not risking it I never discover them. Silly example I know, but still holds true, don't you think? A lot of favorite things in my life I've discovered by being that, simply curious. So why should this be any different?

     "Are you even listening to me?" There goes my father again, screaming on the phone.

     "Look dad, it is not like I'm trying to be rude or anything but we've been over this a thousand times and up to this day I seriously, with all my heart, believe you're the ones who don't get me. I wasn't even complaining or taking it out against mom, I was just in disagreement with her, she was the one who exploded, you know how she is sometimes. And besides, the biggest issue right now isn't even the problem itself, but why on earth are we even fighting over this? How all of this became so big of a thing everytime we bring it up we end up fighting?"

      "I get you son, I seriously do" My father lowers his voice, I know he gets it, but that doesn't change the fact that the arguing is an ongoing thing.

     "I know you do dad, I really do, but that only makes it more annoying when we fight because all this isn't even important to me, just want a little trust in my corner that everything I do has its own pace and in the end I'm gonna do what I think is best for me. That is why I need you to trust your son and believe I know more than enough good from wrong, it is not like I'm selling drugs or skipping school. I'm starting to think you, well, mainly mom will never be able to look at me and take in all its seriousness my concerns and opinions" I hear my dad sighing on the other way of the call, that, at least, means he is more willing to listen than he was when I first picked up the phone.

     "You're right son, I'm gonna try talk to your mother. Better let you go on your way, you have work today right?"

     "Yep" Actually, I was starting to worry about the phone call going on for too long

     "Ok, so I'll let you go. Love you son and I trust you, hope you know we are trying our best here too-" This, it actually looks like my father and by extension my mother are comprehensive parents, but we argue, they say they understand (or my dad at least) but then it comes the next time, and the next time, and we still pick up this silly fights. Maybe for a person hearing him for the first he is, but come on, comprehensive? My ass.

     "I know dad, don't sweat it" My dad hangs up, finally I can get ready for work.

     Change, brush, sip. Amaranta watches me the whole time while I'm getting myself ready for work. I sometimes wonder if she understands more than she reveals, like, maybe she grasps the whole picture of my problems precisely for being an outsider to them, something I cannot do.

     "Amaranta, what do you think of the old lady's gift? I mean, it could be all a big fat joke, but you know what mama always says: 'Our little town has always been strange and magical. One day I hope you'll see' "Trying to impersonate my mother as well as I can, all I get is a look of confusion from Amaranta "So, in the tiny percent chance this is real, is it something I even want? If someone pops out of nowhere and gifts me a year of free peanuts, why should I take the gift when I don't like peanuts at all? Wouldn't it be, you know, nuts to accept? You know what, it's gettin' late, see you later, love you" After kissing Amaranta goodbye, I propel myself out into the street. It's a 15 minutes walk to work, perfect since I don't have to worry about traffic or flat tires, anyhow I like to go out with a few minutes to spare just in case there's and unexpected event. There is almost never one, I can count with one hand the times something comes up which causes me to go off plan, you know, like yesterday with the old lady.

     Step step step. Not too sunny, that's a relief. I forgot my sunscreen thanks to the phone call. After some minutes walking I arrive at this little square that for some reason my tiny side of town has. Made with squared slabs, always think of a chessboard. When I was younger I used to come here with my mother, the hairstylist in the corner is her friend, tho they don't see each other much anymore. Anyway, on this floor, I used to walk like a knight, in an "L" manner, one to the sides and two to the front. At first the space between my steps seemed like the biggest, as I grew older that same space grew smaller. Without noticing, I ended up walking like that. A little space between my head is worried about what are people gonna say if they see me like this... so it's a good thing that space is comprised between two I-don't-cares. So much fun. Simpler times.

     What was the point of being a grown-up again? Shouldn't this whole thing, be way more fun? Living, I mean. I wonder if that's why everyone seems so into marrying and having children. That reminds me I left the envelope the old lady gave me back in my place. I could've asked Dario for advice. Maybe tomorrow. Besides, it might just be a prank photograph, or a photograph of some random girl. My soulmate? Nonsense.