Chapter 71:
My Dad is an Otaku, My Mom is a Fujoshi, and I Wish I Was Dead
"So I know this is a bit sudden, everyone, but Aikawa-kun will be transferring next month..." As soon as our ancient homeroom teacher says this in his creaky voice, I feel like my entire class collectively gasps. "Do wish him well..."
I wish I could have torn that paperwork apart, or thrown it in the trash. This isn't fair. I know it's not. But instead I just took it to the teacher's office like a meek little puppy, because there's nothing I can do about it. I kept talking big, like everything would somehow magically work itself out so long as I stayed optimistic. Like the universe would correct this injustice on its own if my feelings were strong enough. I didn't realize how much trouble we were in until it hit me right in the face. The Yakuza could be taking a lot more than our home if they wanted.
I can try as hard as I like, but only a fifteen-year-old boy with more book smarts than common sense would be stupid enough to think that he could fight off organized criminals and get rid of sixty-three million yen in debt through nothing but determination and never giving up. That only works in Janp. It doesn't in the adult world.
I'm so frustrated because there's nothing I, or anyone else, can do.
As soon as the teacher finishes the homeroom announcements and gingerly totters out of the classroom, my desk gets swarmed.
"Tatsuuuuu!" Satake's here first, as usual. "No way, man! I had no idea!"
"Dude...I'm just moving. It's not like I'm getting kicked out or something."
"But you're gonna miss the study camp! You're not even a little sad about that?"
"About not having to go on a mandatory weekend cram session? Yeah, no way."
"But the hot springs...think about it!" Satake's face turns red, and I swear I can see puffs of smoke coming out of his nostrils.
Suddenly, Satake makes a face like he's had a potato shoved in his butt crack. "Mmmffff!"
"Satake, you creep!"
The voice belongs to Miyabi Yamasaki, who sits three seats behind me. I partnered up with her for a chemistry lab once, but we don't talk that often. She's one of the "popular girl clique", so to speak, except they're not really bullies. They just keep to themselves, wear makeup and fashion, and look at the rest of the class with disdain. Yamasaki is the friendliest of the bunch, though.
"Why'd you kick me?" Satake glares at Yamasaki, furrowing his nose.
"You were being creepy, you were bothering Aikawa-kun, AND I don't like your stupid face."
"You deserved it." To the left of Satake, Kenji Miyama sighs.
"Miyaken, you too?" Satake whips his head over to his friend, distressed.
"Aikawa-kun, are you really transferring?" Yamasaki puts a hand to her throat in surprise.
"Yeah, my family's moving." I'm trying my hardest to act as casual as possible. I really don't want my classmates starting to pry into the reasons why I'm transferring.
"Your dad got a new job?"
"Yeah, something like that. We're moving to Manazuru in Kanagawa."
"Like the beach town?"
"Yeah. We're gonna be living so close to the beach we can smell the salt."
"You're so lucky, Aikawa-kun..." Yamasaki sighs. "You'll be having fun at the ocean and we'll be stuck here in boring old Funabashi..."
"Funabashi's not that bad." None of my classmates know how much I'd love to have a boring suburban life in a boring suburban city just like them, do they? Yamasaki was trying to be nice. She had no idea how much her innocent comment, intended to raise my spirits, hurt me instead.
"We have a horse race." Miyama shrugs his shoulders.
"And that's literally the only thing we're known for..." Yamasaki sighs. "Man, I wish I lived in Tokyo and not this stupid place...I'll seriously miss you, Aikawa-kun, you're so funny."
"It's alright. You're being way too nice."
"No, I mean it. Come on, Yuzuki, you too."
"I'll miss you, Aikawa-san." That's Yuzuki Hiura, another one of the popular girl clique. She's the quiet one of the bunch. Maybe she's shy when she's not around Yamasaki and Sakuchi and the rest. It's amazing what you can learn about people just by watching them for a little while, even if you don't talk to them often.
"What about you boys?" Yamasaki says indignantly. "Are you just gonna stand there and complain about the study camp or are you actually gonna wish him well like you should?"
"You're such a pain in the ass," Satake huffs. "I thought it was obvious. I'll seriously miss you, dude."
"...You guys are embarrassing me." I try my best to give my friendliest laugh, the kind you do when you get in an embarrassing, heartfelt situation and try to play it off. Only this time, my mind's on other things.
This continues for the next few minutes. Nearly all of my classmates crowd around my desk, telling me about how sad it is that I'll be transferring and how much they'll miss me and reminiscing about all the good times we've had- even though we've only finished the first trimester. I don't show it on my face- I just laugh and say "I'll miss you, too"- but it's kinda stupid. I wasn't here since middle school like everyone else was. A week or two after I move, they'll forget all about me, and go back to their normal lives.
In the end, I'm still an outsider. I never belonged here with the children of politicians and executives and all the other rich prep school kids. When I tell my classmates I'll miss them too...I really won't. By next year, I bet I won't even remember most of their names. It's not like I care about anyone from my old middle school.
But there is one exception.
Every time I see the top of her messy head bounce above the crowd surrounding my desk, trying to force her way in, I feel a slight pang of sadness while I nod along with the rest of my classmates' well-wishes.
My fight for Ayappi was over before it even began. I didn't stand a chance in the rich kids' world.
Should I even tell her how I feel before I leave? It's completely pointless by now...but I feel like if I don't, I'll regret it. Even if I know she can never return my feelings.
By the end of homeroom, all my classmates have thanked me for all the good times and wished me well in Kanagawa...with two noticeable exceptions.
"Aikawa-kun, aren't you friends with Kouga?" Yamasaki's voice brings me back to reality from my thoughts.
"Haru? Yeah, we're pretty tight. What's up?"
"He's been sitting at his desk, staring out the window the whole time. Isn't that kinda...rude?"
No, that's just Haru.
"Kouga-san is a little hard to approach," Hiura sighs.
"You're giving him a lotta credit." Satake frowns, looking to the side. "That dude's weird. I mean, whenever I look at him I wonder if he's imagining killing all of us in his head."
"I hate when people are so inconsiderate. You go to all that effort to be his friend and he won't even tell you goodbye like a normal person?" Yamasaki scowls indignantly.
"Hey, you guys...it's alright. Haru's not good with crowds." There's a slight twinge of discomfort in my stomach. Ayappi is right behind these guys and they're talking crap about Haru like they don't care that it'll hurt her.
It's not like I hate these guys, but stuff like this makes me mad. If things had worked out just slightly differently...I would be Haru. An outsider. Or maybe he's less of one than I am.
Sometimes I wish I could snap on these guys. Tell them all to shut up and that they don't know a single thing about Haru, or about me. But what would be the point of doing that? It wouldn't make them stop insulting him behind his back. It would hurt me, and it wouldn't do anything to help Haru...or Ayappi. So all I can do is put on a fake smile and be diplomatic.
"Really? Kouga gets along with you and Shiritori just fine." This time it's Kazuhiko Tachibana, a tall guy who's on the volleyball team, who speaks up. "Maybe he doesn't like us?"
"No, it really is fine." I quickly glance over my back shoulder, where through the crowd I can see a girl with heavy makeup and a cardigan on, tapping away on her phone screen at her desk, disinterested. "Besides, Sakuchi hasn't had a chance to wish me good luck, either."
"Ban-chan's waiting for the crowd to clear out..." Yamasaki nervously giggles.
That's a lie. I know that. Banri Sakuchi isn't telling me goodbye because she looks down on everyone outside her clique. Haru is genuinely uncomfortable around big, loud crowds, and that's why he's waiting for me to go to him. Sakuchi is just arrogant. But because she's popular, and he's not, they act like he's the rude one.
"All right, everyone." I hear a crisp, high-pitched female voice, and then a girl with a perfect uniform and a red-and-yellow ribbon twisting through her long, dark hair pushes her way through the crowd. "Why don't we give Aikawa-kun some space? First period is about to begin."
There's a few grumbles and objections from Satake and the other social butterflies that are crowded around me, but eventually they all head off to their own corners of the room, until the only people left in front of me are Rina Sudou...and Ayappi.
"Takkun!" Ayappi's eyes are so wide and round that it looks like she's going to start gushing tears in a fountain the same way that they do in cartoons. "I can't believe you're transferring...we barely got to make any school memories with you like we wanted!"
"It's alright. It's not like I'm leaving you forever." My gosh, she is so cute. She's so upset over the thought of losing one of her friends that she's about on the verge of tears. A lot of people would call that behavior childish, but I don't find it annoying. She cares about her friends. She'd take a bullet for me, and that's why I love her so much.
"But you're moving to Kanagawa, right? That's so far away, you might as well be!"
"Calm down, stupid." Haru, suddenly appearing behind her, brings down his hand on the top of her head. "He doesn't need you stressing him out any more than usual."
"But it's so sad! Takkun's going to have to leave Shinchoushi before he's had the chance to go on a school trip, or the study camp, or get chocolates on Valentine's Day, or dance at the bonfire after the cultural festival, or even ask his crush out. Aren't you even a little upset?"
"Not really." Haru scratches the back of his head, yawning. "People have to move all the time. It's not like it can be helped. And second...you've been watching too many crappy anime. A lot of people go all three years here without anything interesting happening."
Ayappi indignantly puffs out her cheek, poking Haru in the chest. "It's not my fault you have bad taste."
There they go again.
...I'd be lying if I said I didn't miss this routine.
"Hey Takkun-" Suddenly, Ayappi's inches from my face, her eyes peering into mine. "-why are you having to move?"
"I...uh...well, my mom..." Crap, my heartbeat's pounding. I nearly spilled the beans. I'm powerless against her cuteness. "...She got a new job."
"Really?" Ayappi jumps back with a puzzled expression. "I thought you said she owns a hair salon? Did you guys close down or something?"
"Leave him alone, idiot," Haru huffs. "If he doesn't want to say, it's not your business."
"But it's so weird! I mean, moving right now, instead of over the break?"
The door to the classroom slides open, and our first-period English teacher enters the room, adjusting her notes.
"Kouga-kun, Shiritori-san..." The class rep finally pipes up. "Class is about to start."
"Come on, Ayame, sit down," Haru sighs, and they both make their way to their seats. Finally, the area around my desk is empty, except for one person, the class representative of 1-1.
"Aikawa-kun..." Rina Sudou leans down toward my desk, speaking in barely a whisper. "I'm sorry to hear about your family. Let me know if I can do anything to help you."
Suddenly, I sit bolt upright, ramrod straight.
How much does she know?!
But before I can say anything, she's back at her desk, calling for us to rise and bow to begin the day.
I know I tend to zone out in class, but today is different. I can't focus on anything. I keep thinking about my mom, looking so weary, and the guys threatening her, and my little brother being scared...and Tamaki, crying.
"Aikawa-kun?" My teacher's voice snaps me out of my daydream.
"The Honnouji Incident!"
...I hope that was right.
"Aikawa-kun, I was asking you which quadrant of the real-imaginary plane this number lies in..."
Oh, right, it's math class.
Laughter bursts out among the class, and I do my usual grin and peace sign with a lot less effort. My heart's just not in it today. I can't get my mind off how unfair everything is.
As soon as second period ends, instead of staying inside to chat with my classmates, I bolt for the end of the hallway, like I'm going to the bathroom, but instead I duck into the stairwell that separates the first floor from the second. They're empty- normally, people use the main stairs. It's a perfect place for me to calm down and gather my thoughts.
The first thing that pops into my head is Sudou. What did she mean when she said something happened to my family? I haven't told anyone else the real reason behind my transfer, and I don't want to. It would be beyond pathetic to admit you're broke and in debt to your entire class, especially when they're a bunch of rich kids who have no idea what debt is. It would be the most humiliating thing to ever happen to me. The second my classmates find out how poor I really am, they'll probably start judging me. That's why I've never said anything about it to anyone. Not even Ayappi. The most I've ever done is mention my family ran a salon to Haru. But Sudou is acting like she knows everything.
How did she find out? Did she ask the teachers, or sneak a glance off the form or something? She doesn't seem like the kind of girl to say anything to anyone-
Calm down, Tatsurou. She doesn't know. Nobody at school knows. She probably inferred that you were having some family trouble because you were moving at such a weird time of the year. Usually, that's what causes it.
The landing where the staircase changes direction is framed by a window, looking out toward the high school club building with streaks of red and blue splashed across its white stucco exterior. It was state-of-the-art when it opened, but right now it looks as nineties as it's possible to be. It's a little funny. The grass around the buildings, leading to the sports fields, is bright green- it's still summer, even though the wind has started to pick up. We only have a few days left to wear our summer uniforms before we revert to normal.
...I'm not gonna be around when we change back for the next time. I really do like Shinchou, even if someone like me could never truly belong there.
Off to the left, behind the stand of trees, rustling in the wind, is the middle school, where Haru's sister is probably going about her day like usual. I wonder what she's going to think when she realizes I moved? Am I even going to get another chance to see her before then?
...Damn it. I'm gonna break someone's heart, too.
I hate this. But I'm powerless to stop it.
"Takkun?"
At the sound of the voice, I whirl around. She's right in front of me. The girl I like snuck up behind me and I didn't hear a footstep.
"Is everything okay?" Her eyes are full of concern.
"I...uh...yeah, I'm fine..." She's so close that I can't even think straight!
"I knew it, you are upset about something. You've been this way all morning." She hops back, balancing with one foot behind the other.
"Really, it's fine. Nothing to worry about..." I quickly break eye contact, staring out the window.
"I know what'll cheer you up. Wanna go on a date?"
"Sure!" I respond without thinking, and then it slowly dawns on me.
Ayappi asked me to go somewhere with her. Alone.
Not me. I didn't confess. She asked me.
"I...uh...wait!"
"Sounds like a plan! I'll message you about it after school." She grins.
"Wait just a minute..."
And then she takes off.
I can feel myself burning up. I'm sure I'm bright red.
Did my crush just confess to me before I could?
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