In the Shadows

Content Warning: Mild intimacy and brief mention of past bodily harm

Some weeks later, after the High Council meeting and other official business were over, King Xenon and Izel retired to the king’s chambers in the evening. The flames of the wall torches danced and cast flickering shadows across the walls.

After the door was closed and locked, King Xenon caressed Izel’s face.

Izel’s heartbeat fluttered. “Your Majesty…”

King Xenon leaned in and kissed him. Izel closed his eyes and felt his body tingle. Their kiss deepened and Izel melted against the king’s chest. His fingers curled around the fabric of the king’s chapan.

The king leaned back so they could catch their breaths. Izel’s face was flushed and his chest rose and fell as he tried to calm himself. His bangs had become uneven and the longer strands of his hair clung to his cheeks.

So beautiful, thought the king. He had to admit to himself that he fell for people quite easily, especially when he was lonely. He had fallen for Selenia the day he met her all those years ago. After her passing, he swore he’d never love another woman again, and was livid when his ministers suggested that he find another wife.

No one will ever replace Selenia, he had told them angrily before shutting himself into his chambers. He even had the mosaic of her constructed so that he would be able to gaze at her every day.

However, as the years passed, he had deteriorated until he was barely alive. Most days had been spent lying in bed. He often wished to just end it all and rejoin her, but he knew he had to stay alive for his son’s sake. The son he hardly ever saw since he was so entrenched in his own grief.

Would Selenia be displeased, seeing him now? He swore on the day she agreed to his marriage proposal that he would love her forever. He still did and he would choose her in a heartbeat if she was still here.

I swore I would never love another woman again.

Technically, he did not break his promise, as Izel was not a woman.

Who am I fooling? He gazed at Izel's face before him. Forgive me Selenia, it was just so hard being without you.

“Your Majesty? Is something the matter?” Izel asked.

The king smiled and cupped Izel’s face. “It’s nothing. Just have a lot on my mind.” He ran his fingers down Izel’s hair. “Also thinking about how beautiful you are.”

Izel blushed and looked downward. “Your Majesty flatters this humble one too much.”

“You don’t believe me?”

“No one else has said that to me before.”

The king smiled warmly. “Then I’ll be the first one.”

Of course, Izel looked nothing like Selenia, but that did not matter to the king. Beauty was in the eye of the beholder after all. All he knew was that he felt happier after meeting Izel. He kissed Izel again.

Izel closed his eyes and savored the moment. Then the king began to kiss down his neck, making his breath hitch. He then began to move his hands over Izel’s torso.

“Your Majesty…” Izel gripped the king’s sleeves and began to tremble from the sensations he was experiencing. His breathing became more erratic.

The king’s hand then began to slide over the lower half of Izel’s robes. He suddenly stopped.

Izel opened his eyes and looked up at him. “Is something wrong, Your Majesty?”

“You don’t have a-”

Izel’s face flushed. “Your Majesty, I’m a eunuch.”

“Oh…”

They stood in awkward silence.

“It was a condition of entering the palace,” Izel explained. “All males who become servants here have to…become eunuchs.”

This was a tradition that went back centuries, to the time when the kings of the past had large harems. Since eunuchs could not father children and were considered less aggressive, they were considered to be ideal palace servants. This tradition persisted even though King Xenon did not have a harem, as he only loved Queen Selenia. It was not something that the king thought much about until now.

“Was there a reason for you joining the palace?” asked the king.

“My family was poor. If I entered the palace as a servant, it would be one less mouth to feed, and they would be compensated well. Then my younger siblings could be better off and not have to resort to…this…”

The king looked uneasy. “Did it…hurt?”

Izel looked down and his lips began to tremble. “Yes…” Tears started to form in his eyes. “It was the most painful day of my life…” He covered his face with his hands as he began to cry. “I’m sorry…I…”

The king embraced him tightly. Izel buried his face into the king’s chest and sobbed.

“I’m sorry you had to go through that,” the king murmured as he comforted him. “I don’t want you to ever have to experience that kind of pain again.”