48. I was scared

The city was buzzing below. I sat by the window, leaning my forehead against the cool glass. The sunset was painting the outskirts of the capital in blood-red hues, and it was surprisingly entertaining to watch the world from above as the lights came on.

We stayed on the top floor of one of the tallest buildings in Lous, the island of peace and comfort we all needed so much after our recent experiences.

Gisborne had gone down to the restaurant to eat his favourite delicacies, and Grant and I declined his offer to join him. We couldn't take a bite. I just wanted to forget myself in my sleep, to escape reality so that what had happened in the morning would fade into the oblivion of time.

But two hours ago I woke up in a cold sweat, my heart pounding with fear. I looked at Circul Junior, who looked no better than I did.

“I'm glad to see I'm not the only one who has nightmares.” I let out a sad sigh.

The guy offered to take a sleeping pill. He fell asleep immediately, and I remained sitting on the floor by the sofa, waiting for the saving darkness without dreams to cover me.

I closed my eyes and yawned. My brain was barely thinking, even my blood was flowing sluggishly through my veins, but sleep was still not coming. The smell of black pepper wafted in and made me want to sneeze. I sniffed, trying to find the source of the smell.

“What is it? Are you dead?”

I was startled by the sudden cheerfulness of Asanor's voice. Dav stared in surprise at Grant, who was lying on the sofa in the most ridiculous position, one foot on the soft back and the other buried under a pile of cushions.

“We're rehearsing,” said I.

A faint smile played across Asanor's lips. He sat down in the chair, and now I had to look up at him because I was sitting on the carpet.

“I've wanted to talk to you for a long time,” Dav said. He glanced at his cousin to make sure he was really asleep and continued, “In private.”

I raised my eyebrows in surprise. What did I need to talk to him about?

Seeing my reaction, the young man came closer and looked at me conspiratorially. “Didn't you read my note from the bouquet?”

I frowned, remembering the momentous engagement gift from Grant that I'd thrown in the fire without bothering to read the congratulations.

“And I wondered why you didn't want to meet me,” the minister's son exhaled.

“What did the note say?

“I know how to get the bomb off you.”

My fingertips went numb and goose bumps ran up and down my arms. The man's ice-blue eyes shone with such confidence that my heart skipped a beat or two with the hope that came over me.

“And you didn't say anything all this time? Why didn't you? Tell me how?” A part of my soul came alive with every word. Would I soon be free of the hateful chain that kept me on Grant's leash?

There was a knock on the living room door and a tall, big man I'd met at the Hole entered. He was the one who'd helped Dav to get the documents out of there during the raid.

“Sir, the car is ready, we can go now,” said he.

I couldn't really see the man who had come in from behind the armchairs and sofas lavishly arranged in the huge living room, but I didn't have to look.

I was instantly chilled, my heart pounding, and I finally realised why his voice sounded so familiar. The raucous laughter, the smell of chewing gum and the strong hands ripping off my clothes – I will never forget the horror of the dark basement before I became Grant Circul's birthday present.

“Thank you, Tibai. You may go. I'll be down soon.”

The door closed and I sat there in a daze, trying to comprehend what I had just discovered.

“This Tibai...” I lifted my eyes to Asanor in disbelief.

“Yes, Siri, you got it right,” he exhaled, gathering his thoughts. And then he stunned me: “I'm the one who put the bomb on you.”

I jumped up, trying to catch my breath, but the shock made my body forget even the most elementary basics, and I swayed but steadied myself, not allowing Dav to help me.

I sat down in the chair opposite him and looked at the glass reflecting the bright living room, Grant sleeping peacefully and me and the blonde guy looking at me with a mixture of sadness and remorse. Finally I could breathe again, prepared for any wild explanations.

“Why?” And my voice hardly wavered.

“Because of Abi...”

Asanor's expression was so sad that my heart would have ached with pity if I hadn't been so angry with the president's nephew.

“Your girlfriend?”

The guy nodded. “After her death, all I wanted to do was follow her. But at the last moment I was overcome by the thought of revenge....”

“And if you hadn't fulfilled your last wish, you wouldn't have been able to leave in peace and meet Abina in a new life?” I continued, now understanding his motives.

Many believed that by dying after a loved one, one could be reborn almost simultaneously in the new world and meet their beloved soul again, have time to make up for what they could not do in the previous life, become happy and protect the most precious thing they had – love.

“But why this long and dangerous plan with the bomb?” I frowned; I still couldn't make sense of it.

“Do you believe in four lives?”

“Yes.” I too have always been fascinated by this ancient concept of rebirth.

Every soul has been given a special gift, and if you use it properly, if you do not stray from the right path, if you do not do evil deeds, then at the end there is a reward – eternal non-existence. Each rebirth has its own purpose. The first life is the time to cultivate the field, the second life is the time to sow. The third and fourth lives are the time to reap the fruit and the time to enjoy the works of your hands.

But if you die in one life with regret in your heart, you simply cannot enter the next. That is why revenge for the pain caused in our world is a great thing, the future depends on it.

“My wish is to see Abi in the next life, only the thought of revenge keeps me going. My task is not yet complete, but I cannot kill a man with my own hands, because I will not be able to see Abina in the next world – the gods won't let me for such a terrible sin.”

“So you wanted revenge by someone else's hand?”

“Yes, if your actions had triggered the bomb, it wouldn't have been my direct fault.”

Maybe. I grinned, trying to figure out what killing Grant would get me. On the one hand, it would give me revenge on the president and soothe my soul, but on the other hand, I could go to hell for the bloodshed and suffer the eternal torment of remorse, trying to atone for it. Whether I could be reborn in a new life would depend on the divine judgement. Only the gods decided such controversial matters.

“What if I was always there for Grant, keeping the bomb from waking up?”

Dav had an answer ready. “The distance between you would shrink by the second. Eventually, when there was only one step left, you would die. I, too, wanted to take from uncle Rizor the person he loved most, just as he had done to me.”

“Then why are you telling me now that you know how to remove the bomb?” Asanor's honesty confused me. Usually villains are this sincere before they make their final move. Did he intend to destroy us immediately by opening his heart to me?

The guy sighed and looked wistfully at the sky.

“I couldn't resist the part of me that was still good. When I first saw you at home in your white dress, when you came into the living room, I thought for a moment that Abi had returned, that nothing had happened... I was ashamed of what I had done to you, you were innocent of Rizor's sins. I imagined Abi in your place... What if someone had put this collar on her and bound her to another person against her will? The thought terrified me...”

Dav swallowed, it was obvious that the confession was difficult for him.

He shifted his gaze to me and exhaled softly, barely audible: “I'm sorry, Siri. I don't want you to die.”

I covered my eyes with the palm of my hand to hide the tears. My emotions raged inside me and I couldn't calm them down, couldn't separate them, couldn't understand what I was really feeling. The only thing I was sure of was gratitude.

“Thank you for your honesty.” That was all I could manage to say.

“I'm sorry, that's all I can do for you.”

I smiled. I was glad to have this talk with Dav. A lot of things were falling into place and now I didn't have to worry about the ‘garrotte’ around my neck.

“You'd better calm down. I'm afraid what I'm about to say will shock you,” Asanor became more serious, his gaze darkening in a way that didn't bode well for me.

I obeyed, made myself comfortable in the chair and looked at my vis-a-vis with great anticipation.

“When Tibai and I invented the bomb, we used a combination of magic and technology to make it so that it couldn't just be disarmed. To get rid of it, you have to detonate it.”

My palms were sweating. Why was it so complicated?

“Have you ever heard of high altitude explosions?” asked he.

I shook my head. I was far from being a scientist, and I'd never had a passion for violent means of killing. Explosives had always frightened me.

“Luckily you have air magic. Use the wind arrows. The bomb must be detonated more than ten kilometres above the ground.”

I looked at Dav in disbelief. He wanted me to get rid of that scary thing around my neck all by myself? Yes, I must have been a football in a previous life to be kicked around like this.

“I can't do this alone...” I'd never felt so confused and overwhelmed. It was as if I'd suddenly been given an exam by a higher power to show what I'd learned in my life, if it had any meaning at all, but the task was unexpected and too hard.

“You can do it,” he said, not even a hint of uncertainty in his eyes.

I exhaled, trying to suppress my anger. It was easy for him. He'd made a mess, but I'd have to stew in it until I destroyed it.

“One last thing. The collar around your neck is fake. The real bomb is your tooth. Remember, first upper molar on the right.”

“What? You made a bomb out of my tooth?!”