53. I'm sorry

“Grant,” I tugged at his shoulder, pointing out the window with my other hand.

The young man snapped out of his thoughts and glanced outside, a slight smile forming on his lips.

“Stop here,” he asked the driver.

Lias, who was sitting in the front passenger seat, immediately turned around, frowning.

“We won't be long,” Circul Jr. assured him, slamming the car door behind me.

“Why can't they just sit still?” grumbled the bodyguard as he got out of the car.

I exhaled happily as I looked at the giant clown's head with people passing through its mouth. The entrance to the amusement park had frightened me since I was a child, when my mother and I used to spend a day at the weekend on the rides. To enter the world of childhood dreams and fun, you had to get past the three-metre mouth of the monster, which is the only way to describe that overgrown clown's face. The worst part was getting past the teeth that hung over your head. It looked like they were about to come loose and fall off, leaving you with birds with stars and a big bump, just like in the old cartoons.

My mum, who knew I was scared, used to tell me not to worry because the clown had a special team who brushed his teeth twice a day so they were healthy and free of cavities, so they wouldn't fall out.

I smiled, gazing nostalgically at one of the capital's most famous faces – the calling card of its main amusement park. Nothing could dispel sadness, longing and melancholy like the aroma of caramelised popcorn and the scent of burnt sugar from the cotton candy cart.

“Come on,” I dragged the guys towards the ticket office.

Grant had no cash on him and had forgotten the ring with the bank account on it, so it was up to poor Lias to pay for us, who couldn't resist our pleading looks.

“We'll be here for two hours, no more,” the guard warned, eager to hand us over to the president and get some rest.

I felt a bit sorry for him, he'd already spent the whole day with us, first picking us up from the seaside cottage, then taking us to the lab where I'd had the bomb removed, then to the music stadium, and now we were pestering him with our rides.

But at the same time, the little egoist in me was in full bloom and fragrant, my neck was not under pressure, the concert of my favourite band was a success – the day had been a wonderful one today, so there was no desire to end the evening too soon.

On summer nights the parks worked round the clock. Yes, they knew how to have fun in the capital. More than ever, I wanted to feel freedom at my fingertips, to forget myself in the squeal and speed, the adrenaline rush and the delayed goose bumps.

“I haven't been here in about ten years,” Grant looked around for familiar landmarks.

“Me too. Where shall we go?”

I glanced at Circul, who suddenly froze, the wind ruffling his dark hair, which still smelled of sea breeze and salt. The young man's eyes were bright with joy.

We stopped right in front of the sign for the most dangerous attraction. Ahead of us was a strip of track on which the carriages were travelling at an insane speed. The cries of euphoria and screams of terror were deafening.

“Last time I wasn't the right size, I was too short. But I've always wanted to go for a ride,” my companion grinned. “And you?” he gave me the look of a man who'd decided to do something crazy.

“I was small, too.”

Without further ado, we walked towards the high roller coaster, with each step an unnatural joy rising from the depths of my soul and making my blood race. My mind had yet to fully comprehend what I had agreed to, but a chill of fear was already running through my body.

Butterflies fluttered in my solar plexus, my heart pounding with anticipation and fear at the same time. My fingertips grew cold and I tucked them under my armpits, trying not to show my excitement.

After a short queue, Grant and I climbed into the two-seater carriage, leaving Lias on the ground waiting for us. He didn't seem very enthusiastic about our venture, so it was funny and unusual to see the ever-smiling and cheerful bodyguard so grumpy.

The operators strapped us in, gave us a quick briefing and wished us a good journey. I was able to control myself as our two-seater accelerated through the jungle, but on the desert bends I screamed, my voice cracking.

The sand dunes were replaced by a waterfall from which we descended at an angle of almost eighty degrees, then the road led us to a covered pavilion where the stars and planets were lit up from the total darkness.

We rode around most of the park to get back to the start. But before we reached the finish line, there was one last challenge – a mountain that a tiny carriage had to climb slowly, slowly.

At the highest point, the open carriage floated for half a minute, allowing us to enjoy the view of the city at night. I wanted to come back here to see the capital in the sunlight.

The people in the central square seemed miniaturised, the height breathtaking, even the wind was cleaner, flowing freely at such altitude. The carriage started with a jerk and I gripped the handholds with white knuckles, glancing at Grant and wishing the descent would end as soon as possible.

My heart skipped a few beats, or even stopped for fear, and I regretted having agreed to go on this ride. Why were people so eager to come up with entertainment that made you feel like getting grey hairs was the least you could do?

And then we were just thrown down.

We'd laugh about it later when we heard our hoarse voices. But at that moment we were terrified. Grant and I screamed like we were being eaten alive by some goddamn hellfire.

Frankly, I'd rather die than do an encore of this ride.

After such an emotional rollercoaster, we decided not to test ourselves on any more rides. For the first five minutes I couldn't get off the bench, I could feel every muscle in my body shaking with adrenaline.

Lias stood beside us and laughed silently. We declined his offer to go home. We didn't want that, we needed peace and quiet, not to be beaten up by the president for wandering around the most crowded places in the country for half a day without any concern for our safety.

The bodyguard led us down an alleyway to the other side of the park. Fountains ran along the path, lighting the way. The breeze caressed my skin, rustled the leaves of the trees, played with the flowers in the beds, mixing the warm air of a summer night with the honeyed scent of blooming gillyflowers. Nearby, swings creaked and music played softly from children's toy machines.

We begged Lias to buy us ice cream and enjoyed it in silence, waiting for the president's driver to drive to the back entrance of the park to pick us up. The high school students were blowing bubbles to entertain the late crowd.

I had always loved bubbles. They glistened beautifully in the light, danced with the air, disappeared instantly, but brought so much beauty and joy to the world. I wished my life could be like theirs... just as fleeting, but beautiful.

I smiled sadly, my life will bring no joy to anyone, but no one will remember me afterwards, just like this fragile soapy creature that didn't reach my hand. I will burst, the tiny drops will be scattered by the wind, not a speck of memory will be left of me.

“What are you thinking about?” Grant stepped towards me, catching the dissonance in my emotions.

“It's beautiful here. Mum and I used to walk down this alley, but it was so long ago... like a dream that was dreamed a long time ago, but remembered. When you don't even know if it was real or just a dream, a fragment of a memory.”

Circul nodded. “I often experience this. Sometimes I don't know if my memories were in the real world. Everything gets mixed up and confused over time.”

“That's the way it has to be. This is the cruel reality. It's preordained,” said Lias, a convinced fatalist who had been studying the stars in the capital's sky.

“Let's come back later, shall we? So we don't forget this day,” Grant suggested, smiling encouragingly.

“Okay,” I grinned, surprised at his sudden offer. “But next time, no strawberry ice cream. I hate strawberries.”

“I know,” the president's son smirked.

Oh, so he bought it with that taste on purpose? Was he just trying to piss me off or something? I narrowed my eyes and jokingly tried to step on the bad guy's foot. How could I? Circul anticipated my intention before it even appeared in my vengeful mind and jumped back laughing, showing me his tongue. How well he had learned me...

But the thought that my enemy knew me in every detail didn't stop my blood from boiling. I shoved the ice cream towards our guardian, scooped a handful of water from the fountain and splashed it at Grant. He almost dodged, but accepted the challenge. Now Lias was standing there with three waffle cones in his hands, watching our little scuffle.

I was about to bathe the top of one bad guy's head in a cold fountain when he suddenly stopped, his hand raised in warning. “Shh, do you hear that? A sort of squeaking?”