Magical Girl Heart To Heart (Saki side)

Nao didn’t say a word as we sat down and ate our ice creams. I was used to her being quiet, she was generally a woman of few words anyway, but this time was different. She seemed distant. Depressed, almost.

Despite having lashed out at Mai, I got the feeling that she was more scared than angry. She was always an anxious girl, but in the few days since this magical girl business started I’ve watched her grow more and more terrified. As if there was now a target of her fear, instead of just general anxiety.

I felt like I had a feeling what that target was, but I’d need to push a little to get her to say it herself.

“Hey, Nao?” I finished my ice cream and finally broke the heavy silence.

“Hmm?” Though she responded, she didn’t seem to really be paying attention.

“Why are you so adamant about not letting Mai become a magical girl? Don’t you think she should be the one to make that decision?”

Sunao didn’t respond to my question immediately, but I could tell by her change in expression that she was giving it thought. After a good minute of thinking, she gave a quick sigh and began to speak.

“D-do you remember the day I met you?”

“Hm? Of course I do. Clear as day.”

“So you remember what you said to me? Way back then?”

Nao and I had know each other since we were very young, so our first meeting was a very long time ago. That being said, my memory of it was still strong.

It was in our first year of elementary school. Even back then, she wasn’t exactly the picture of confidence. I remember seeing her in class and wondering why she was always alone.

Then, there was one day when everyone else was out playing in the playground, and I came back into the classroom to get something. I saw her sat at a table on her own, crying. When I asked her why she crying, she said she didn’t know. When I told her that being strong would help her stop crying, she said she couldn’t help being weak. And that’s when I said to her,

“‘If you can’t be strong, I’ll just be strong for you,’ right?”

“Mhm, that’s right.”

Looking back, it was probably a stupid thing to say. We had never even spoken to each other, so I probably seemed like a lunatic to her. But, for whatever reason, she said ‘okay’ and we started being friends.

“A-After that, any time I wanted to cry, I thought of you, and it helped. I still cried a lot, but not as often as before. I guess it helped having someone to fall back on all the time.”

“Yeah, I remember you still being a bit of a crybaby back then. But it’s good to know I was a little helpful.”

“Y-you were more than that. I think there were days where I wouldn’t have gotten out of bed if I didn’t know you would be there.”

I had guessed as much, but I still felt a pang of pain at hearing the words come from her own mouth. During middle school, Nao went through phases where she got really depressed for long periods of time. Some days I even got a bad feeling and went to her house early in the morning just to make sure she got up and went to school. I know that time of her life was really hard for her, so it’s at least good to know that I helped in some way.

“U-until high school, you were pretty much the only friend I ever had. But then we met Mai in first year, and Sora at the start of this year, and I finally felt like I knew what having a group of friends was really like. When I remembered what you said the first time we met, ‘I’ll be strong for you,’ it put my nerves at ease. I knew that as long as I had my friends, I could be strong by relying on them. My friends… mean the whole world to me.”

She almost seemed like she was gonna cry, though no tears actually came.

I was acutely aware of how much Nao struggled to make friends. She was prone to doubting herself or freaking out, being more or less unable to hold a full conversation. It took her a while to get used to talking to Mai and Sora too, though after a while she grew to trust them quite deeply.

Still, I wasn’t aware just how important the three of us were to her. Of course, she was incredibly important to me too. The most important person in my life, even. But Mai is such a hard read that I was never truly sure how she felt about me.

“H-having such wonderful friends to rely on is amazing, but it also comes with fear. When I think about the possibility of losing you three, it makes my heart ache so much. And it’s only gotten worse since Sora became a magical girl.” She stopped to breathe for a second, as if she needed to compose herself. “Now that you and Sora have both become magical girls, there’s no way for me to stop you being in danger. Our enemies will try to hurt you no matter what I do. But Mai is different. I can still protect her by not making her a magical girl. Which is why…”

“Which is why you won’t make a dose for her, even if she desperately wants it.” I finished her sentence as she trailed off.

Her reasoning made a lot of sense, even if it was based entirely on emotion and not logic. It was now an unavoidable fact that Sora and I were a threat to the magical girls, and that we were at constant risk of harm. Nao herself was also a target because of her knowledge of the drug they were using, but technically there was no reason for them to hurt Mai so long as they were sure she couldn’t get the word out. In a way, Nao’s actions really were protecting her.

“I know it’s selfish of me to trample all over Mai’s will because of my own fear, but when I saw you and Sora in so much pain after that girl attacked you yesterday, I just couldn’t bear the idea of losing all the friends that were so dear to me. So I snapped, and refused to help Mai put herself in more danger. It already hurt watching two of you in danger. I thought I wouldn’t be able to bear it if it was all three of you.”

At first I had thought that Nao’s outright refusal to help Mai was a little unfair, but the more I listened, the more I empathised. When Nao was attacked by that girl yesterday, the idea of her getting hurt made me so angry and upset that I moved without even thinking. I couldn’t bear the idea of someone laying a hand on my friend.

To be asked to give your friend a drug that you know would inevitably get them hurt… I can absolutely understand her reaction.

“So you’re dead set then? You definitely won’t help Mai become a magical girl?” I asked her that question, already fully expecting her to answer in the affirmative, but her response took me by surprise.

“Actually…” she fiddled about in her handbag for a second, from which she produced a syringe full of the yellow liquid I had become uncomfortably familiar with recently. “I had intended to give her this today as a peace offering. After I cooled off yesterday, I realised that making her angry with me hurt just as much as the idea of her fighting. If I lost our friendship to an argument, it wouldn't matter if I had avoided losing her to the fight. But when I saw her today, that same thought of her getting hurt flashed through my mind, and it was too much to bear. So I lashed out again. I’m a terrible friend.”

After so long of holding it back, the first tear finally began to roll down her cheek. Without thinking, I immediately pulled her into a hug, and let her cry into my arms.

“You silly fool. You’re not a bad friend for wanting your friends to be safe. You’re only human, Nao.”

“Y-you mean it?” She sniffled as she spoke, still crying her eyes out.

“Of course. You’re a wonderful friend. The best one I’ve ever had, even. Don’t put yourself down just because you care about us.”

I well and truly meant what I said. Nao had expressed how much we meant to her, but she didn’t seem to realise how much she meant to me too.

Sunao is the only reason I was able to push myself to the point I’m at today. When she told me she had been accepted into the gifted girl’s academy, I was outwardly ecstatic for her, but inside I was crushed. I didn’t believe I’d ever be good enough to get in there myself, and the idea of being separated from her was soul-crushing.

After a few days of silently lamenting what I had perceived as the possible end of our friendship, I decided that moping around would fix nothing. I had to get good enough to get into the academy on my own merits.

I trained, day in, day out, pushing my body to its absolute limits. I knew I wasn’t smart enough to get in for my brains, but I was physically capable enough to stand a chance of getting in with my body. I knew that the only way she and I could stay together was if I became the strongest version of myself I could be.

I competed in every track and field event that they let me attend. The 100m. The discus. Long jump. High jump. And after more hard work and effort than I ever thought possible, I found myself dominating every single one of them.

But the trophies and medals and podium spots weren’t the thing that brought me my happiness. The thing that truly made me happy was when that letter came through the door to tell me that I’d been accepted at the academy.

It was in that moment, when the joy at being able to stay together shot through me like a bolt of lightning, that I realised just how special Nao was to me.

So to hear her put herself down, and say that she’s a bad friend… it hurt me to know she thought that way.

I let her cry into my arms for a while longer, content to let her get her feelings out. If I could be any help to her at all, I’d take it.

After a while, she sits up with a sniffle and wipes the tears from her eyes.

“Feel a little better now?”

“Y-yeah. Just a bit.”

“The girls should finishing their game soon, wanna go meet up with them so you can talk it out with Mai?”

“Y-yes. That’d be nice.” Even though she was still clearly having doubts, her tone has lightened up considerably.

Standing up from the bench, I held out my hand for her, which she took with a smile, and we turned to head to the end of the central street.

“EVERYBODY RUN! CULT ATTACK!”

As if god himself had decided to ruin the mood, however, the sound of people screaming and panicking interrupted us. We both turned quickly to look for the source of the noise, and were met with the worst sight we could have possibly seen.

There in front of us stood three figures in the robes of the cult. Which meant there would be magical girls arriving soon.

Just when things were starting to look up, our ‘relaxing day’ in Shibuya had suddenly gotten a lot more stressful.