Walking Around

"You know what I noticed recently."

"What?"

"You don't look so tense like you used to."

"Oh really? I am surprised you notice things like this."

"So you feel better?"

"I mean, I haven't had time to think about anything related to that lately, so maybe that's the reason."

"Keeping your mind busy is probably the best thing you can do."

"Not gonna lie, it's mainly because of you."

"Ohh. Don't mention it. It's not like I am doing anything special."


"There's been a thought on my mind still. That one day something bad might happen. Maybe instead of me thinking something happened, it will be that I forget it. And the thing I forget will be me doing something... bad. Like hurting some-."

"What are you saying? How could something like that happen? None of it makes sense."

"Nothing been making sense since that day."

"What day? What are you talking about?"

"A couple of months ago my grandparents crashed and both of them didn't make it.
I never told you?"

"Oh my god, I am so sorry to hear that. You never said anything."

"Well, I think it was before you transferred, so that's probably why."


"You've been at our place many times now. When is your turn?"

"Self-invite huh? No seriously, I don't know. Never say never, but my parents don't handle strangers very well. That's what I caught up being with them my whole life."

"Guess you didn't say anything about me then. I would like to meet your parents. See what they're like."

"They know about you as the new classmate. And I didn't mean that if I were to bring you home, they wouldn't freak out or whatever you are imagining. I just think they don't handle new people as well as others. I am sure if I asked them in advance, there would be no issue. The issue now is asking. They haven't been really themselves since the accident.
I think they are either hiding their struggle from me, or they are actually getting better. Still, I figured out it would be better not to ask anything from them. Staying out of the way, not wanting anything until I am certain everything is back to how it used to be."

"I think I get it, staying out of the way..."

"Did something similar happen in your family as well?"

"Not really. It's always been like this. I didn't mean staying out of the way, but more like being pushed away. You see, my parents are scientists or doctors. I don't even know for sure. All I know is that they are at work or home working. Easy to figure out that they don't spend time with me.
I think that I was just something that somehow happened and they were like "Well, whatever" and went with what was given. Sometimes, I feel like a plant. You buy it, look at it on the first day, and after you get bored with it, you water it every few days so it doesn't die."

"That sounds really bad, they didn't act like shit parents when I was there."

"I wouldn't call them shit. They give me money, a roof under my head, food, and all other basic needs and that's all. That is the problem."

"Then ask them to do something together no?"

"I was thinking about that a long time ago, but I realized that if they wanted to do something with me, they would do it. Asking them is pointless because they don't 

want to."

"At least you can do whatever you want. It could be a lot worse."