Choices

I don’t know how long I stared into the box until I heard the soft taps of feet coming up the stairs. I looked at the door, uncertain how or if I should explain what I saw. Does it even matter? Only the priests are allowed to come in here now. No one will know what happens to me… I didn’t wait for the doors to open.

There was nowhere to hide, and I could hear more than one person approaching. I stood up as straight as the chains permitted and faced the entrance as the priests slowly entered the room. Each was wearing a plain white mask, devoid of features except holes for their eyes as they studied me.

Is this what an animal feels like before they’re slaughtered? I gritted my teeth as I tried to heave myself over the side, but my arms refused to support my weight. As the priests approached me, I slumped down, not needing to pretend to be exhausted. They didn’t speak. But one of them closed the door and stayed in front of it as the others circled me.

Then, two gently grabbed my hands, pulling me up while two more moved to my sides, lifting me and placing me in the box without a glance. Another pushed the remaining fabric into the box, burying me in it as they lifted the lid and fitted it in place. My heart hammered against my chest as what little light I had nearly vanished.

The priests murmured to themselves, and I couldn’t suppress a sigh of relief. It’s over. Whatever happens now… it’s over. I did my duty even though it shouldn’t have been mine. My family would eat well tonight in celebration, and the village would flourish again for a year… just one more year.

Who will be the next bride? We barely have any unmarried women left, and most of them are still children. I didn’t want to think about it. The priests and elders already know they’re running out of time, but mine was all used up. I closed my eyes and buried my face in my robes. The chains creaked, but if the priests heard, they gave no sign.

I was already buried in their minds. One more bride for our god to do with as he pleased… unless the priests were lying and something else was about to happen to me?! I sat up, listening carefully as the box shifted, like it was being moved forward… and down. I braced myself against one of the walls, but the box continued shifting, rolling down instead of being carried…

And then the light came back. I blinked, looking up expectantly, but the lid remained shut as the box continued moving. Does this mean… the world where my twin is…? I shifted, gathering as much of the robe as possible into my lap to reveal the floor, and I almost laughed at what I saw. The floor was glowing, but only the corner I revealed showed me the girl.

She was lying on a floor with a purple and blue carpet and seemed to be staring at me!

Help me! Take me away from this!

I couldn’t tell if she heard. She continued to lie there as if her life were about to end, where mine certainly was. I didn’t care that she had nothing to do with it. How could she when she belonged to a world so different from mine. Yet I couldn’t get the thought out of my head. I was going to die, and this girl was going to live.

Everyone else got to live by sacrificing me. But why did it have to be this way? Why did I have to see this girl when I only wanted to lie in my bed and pretend nothing was happening? I wouldn’t have minded getting married if it meant I could live. I’m not the prettiest, but I know how to cook. That had to count for something!

Brides aren’t supposed to want anything beyond making their husbands happy. That’s what my mother said when I noticed my body was changing. Brides are meant to be the heart and soul of their family. They keep their homes and children clean so their husbands can look forward to a good meal when they return from a hard day’s work.

My mother and many other women had always seemed happy with their fate. So, why couldn’t I have been given the same? Did my father know what my uncle did? Would any of the boys who said they thought I was nice miss me? Does this girl have someone like that? She seemed very close with the other girl in the vision… where is that girl?

I pressed my legs together, gaining another inch into that strange world before I felt the box slow down.

No!

I’m sure I would have been a good wife to one of the hunters if I was given a choice. I would have tried to be a good wife to our god if that was really happening. But why would a god need his bride to be chained and climb into a box like she’s attending her own funeral? It didn’t make sense, but seconds slowly turned to minutes, and nothing happened.

No one demanded I rise or open the box themselves. No one walked around or spoke. I had to be alone… but I wasn’t going to open the box to find out. If I’m supposed to open the box, the priests should have said something when they put me in! But that left me staying inside and watching my twin lie there.

It wasn’t the best that I could do, but I’d rather receive a beating for staying inside than risk my life or worse by trying to escape. I can always try later… if I can figure out how to get out of these chains. I decided to watch the girl, ignoring how I couldn’t have climbed into the box on my own and how my stomach twisted into knots at the thought of the feast everyone else was enjoying.

Shouldn’t I have gotten a last meal? Isn’t that what your family is supposed to do before sending you off to live with your husband? I didn’t know, and I doubted my twin did, either. She didn’t move beyond fidgeting or adjusting the strange headband occasionally. And most importantly, nothing about her screamed married woman.

Her hair pooled around her head like a halo instead of a neat bun to present the top one’s neck and appear more maternal. She was dressed like a man, and I barely kept my jealousy in check at the causal way she stretched her limbs… What I wouldn’t give to be able to do that! The only thing that ruined my imagining of her life was the bags under her eyes.

She looks as tired as I am. It shouldn’t have been a comforting thought. I could barely remember being so comfortable to be able to stretch out on a floor in the middle of the day, and it was sometime in the afternoon there. I could tell by the sun and the shadows… Unless her world has the sun rise in the west, of course.

But even that didn’t do much to soothe me. This girl wasn’t chained up waiting to die or be taken by a god that would do this again in a year with another. She didn’t have to worry about making sure her village survived thanks to her sacrifice… Or, maybe she does, and this is how it’s done in her world?

I wanted to find out. I didn’t want to find out.

You watched several girls you grew up with climb those stairs and enter the shrine. Why are you so fixated on your suffering? You don’t know if they volunteered or had a choice. You didn’t say anything as they made their way to the shrine. So why do you care that no one did that for you? Maybe this girl, your twin? Is a reward? One that all of the chosen girls get to see before…

I shook my head, groaning as my thoughts kept circling.

You’re going to die down here. You’re alone, and no one is coming to save you… Just like you didn’t try to save anyone… But was that a crime only a tiny few should be punished for? I wasn’t the only one who did that. Why aren’t the men and the married allowed to live in peace? I wasn’t a heavy thinker, but I wasn’t stupid.