Goodbyes aren't easy, but they aren't Forever

I woke up the next morning feeling a little lighter. Apparently, her dad found someone to remotely take us to the edge of Erimo, but we would have to take a ferry from here to the closest part of Hokkaido in a few hours. It's a three-hour ride from Aomori Bay to Hakodate and the first one of the day leaves at 9 am, we're taking the one at 10. 

I rolled out of bed and saw the view of the city, mountains in the distance. All the skyscrapers, cars passing by the people that seemed like ants from above. In a few hours, my life will change forever. When you have to move on from people or from a city you grew up in, it's hard. But it’s different when it’s a way of life. An idea that you’ve held on to forever that just, I don’t know, no longer fits I suppose. Pessimism doesn’t suit me anymore and I don’t know why. I’d like to think I’m rational and able to make decisions, think for myself. But this tree.

 It's a lot to think about and very stressful. Well, it is for me. Others, it excites them. The opportunity to do something new and I'm not very fond of change, but it happened to me. Something did. And it was because of the Yuzu tree. I can't imagine it's a trap if he says that he's going to take us there because:

1.) He needs me. There's something he knows about me, this tree, and this strange world we live in that he can tell me and quite frankly, I would do anything to know what it means.

and 

2.) I think somewhere deep down in his own twisted way, he cares for his daughter. Even if she isn't his actual one. Why include her in on so much? Let her do as she please with a guy she barely knows? Well, she's an adult and can make her own decisions. Also what he told me that night. 

It's already 8 and there's something I want to do before we leave.

"BREAKING NEWS" 

I almost forgot there was a TV in here. We clearly, haven't watched any of it. But things around the world have gotten a lot more crazy in the last couple of days.

"There's been another reporting of a break-in and vandalization in a laboratory that is subsidized and owned in part by Osaka Industries. Last night, it was reported that there was an attempted robbery and break-in of unnamed armers in a laboratory of Gutte Mitte, a German company that is located near Frankfurt, Germany that specializes in pharmaceuticals. This is the third attack this week on a company that has relations or is owned partially or in full by Osaka Industries and marks a rise in these types of crimes since the recent announcement of a pill that has the ability to cure blindness. No links have been made as to who these robbers are or have been named as the main suspects.

 Now, we are being taken live to the street of the laboratory, where protests have ensued for the past week."

"Thank you, Sayaki-san. Right now, we are here with a protester who has been out here for the last couple of days. What do you make of all this?"

"I think it's complete bullsh*t! They've had a cure to blindness for all these years while people suffered its effects. And then, when it comes out its going to be regulated and at a steep price. How the f**k is that fair? I'm not saying I support violence, but I don't think the people who broke in did anything wrong."

"Thank you, Hanakoi-san. We have heard no reports of any representatives of Gutte Mitte or Osaka Industries. They have declined to respond at this time. We will keep you updated on any further news. Tokyo TV Live."

I wonder what her father makes of all this. Did he predict this and now that I think about it, he said something about not needing the government. A scary thought. Some say that but very few actually have the power to back it up and mean what they say. Private corporations breaking off to form what? What exactly is he up to? I have to find out. 

Bzzz!

Bzzzz!

Bzzz!

“Hello?” I've missed talking to him.

“Hey! Dude where the fuck are you? The boat’s ready, we’re here with Tony. Did you get it?” I didn’t inform him on anything. I'm really a bad friend.

“Hey, what’s up? How’ve you been? I missed talking to you.”

“What’s up?! Dude, what do you mean “what’s up”? We’ve got to go. How long do you think it’ll take you to get here? A day, two? Who knows who’s out here watching us or won’t let us leave Japan with a Yuzu from the Tree. Im here with Ritsika and looking at her, I don’t know how much she can handle this. She did her part by contacting her father to stop production on the farm. She was asking why. You never told me why.”

“Sounds like you’re having fun. I mean, it’s all I can ask.”

“What the fuck are you saying?! Where’s Rin? Let me talk to her since you don’t know what it is you’re talking about!” 

I looked over at her, still sleeping underneath the covers. Even the way she sleeps is, I don't know what to say. Last night was the first time we had slept together as a…couple? I don’t know. There hasn’t been a label or anything like that yet. No matter how much I’ve “changed”, if you can call it that, that’s still one thing that makes me feel weird. I have a girlfriend?!

“Look, she’s sleep right now. She can’t talk-“

“So, you finally did it.”

“Did what?!” My face just got so hot. I'm sure I look like a tomato.

“So, how was it? It’s clear you’re not telling me something so, let’s just talk. Was it good? Did it meet what you thought would happen?”

“I don’t know why you’re being so dirty. How naughty of you.”

“You don’t have to be embarrassed. You fucked her sister too, didn’t you? You’re the one that’s dirty. How could you, man?”

How does he know about that? Probably Ritsika’s blabbermouth but more importantly, does Ritsika finally know?

“How did you know? It was an accident.”

“An accident. Hm. Is that what you told Rin?”

Looking out the window, I felt a warm sensation on my skin. Rin stood behind me with her chest pressed against my back, grabbing my waist. She kissed me on the side of the neck, holding me tighter. 

“Uh…well…ugh, stop.” I didn’t want her to. 

“Come back to bed, we have to leave in a few.”

“What is she talking about? Where are you going? Put her on the phone.” He asked. No, more like demanded, so I handed her the phone while I plopped back on the bed. It was her problem now. 

“Hello?”

“Rin. It’s nice to talk to you again. You haven’t been responding to my messages and I figured he would answer. What’s going on? Seriously.”

She looked at me, and I could tell she didn’t want to say what she was going to say. It was faint, but there was a little disappointment in her eyes. I never told her why I changed my mind. Then again, she’s done things—no. She’s decided to trust me, so I’ll have to do the same. As skeptical as it may seem. It should be me telling Ridge this. He’s my friend.

She kept looking at me, waiting for me to say something. 

“Rin?”

I motioned for her to throw the phone back to me while she immediately sunk right back into my arms inside the bed. It’s a feeling I couldn’t trade for the world, and it made me so happy. Which is why it’s important that I do this right. In honor of leaving the old behind.

“It’s me. We’re not coming. Something changed.”

"What?" I heard his voice crack. I don't know how much of this I will be able to handle. Rin looked up towards me, resting her chin on my shoulder while caressing my chest. How could I ever have taken her for granted?

"W-what do you mean? Explain."

"I mea-"

"EXPLAIN NOW!" He screamed. I've never seen him like this before. "Don't, ha, no. You're coming. Right? This is another one of your stupid jokes in where you can never take anything serious. We're on the boat and here at the pier in near Kochi. The boat is supposed to leave today, but we can dock ship and wait until tomorrow at the latest until production finds out we're using a boat unauthorized. Ritsika's here too but I don't know if she's going. I wouldn't let her."

"Well, you don't have to. Because Rin and I aren't going. Can you at least let me explain? I'm sorry."

"Sorry? For what? You're coming. All I'm doing is waiting."

"You'll be waiting forever. Dude, something's changed. It's way bigger than we thought. Her dad, or well, yeah, her dad to keep it simple is really, I don't want to say "evil" but certainly has ulterior motives and totally already knew our plan and found it out? If we can call it that, I don't know. There's so much more to this and by the way, did you see the attack this mor-"

"Shin."

"Yes?"

"Are we ever going to see each other again?"

Silence. 

It's a question I didn't know the answer to. He's done so much for me, risked his career and livelihood for me. I don't what to tell him. This time, there's something in me, a force, a power or feeling inside that won't let me run away from the truth even if I'm scared that it'll ruin everything I know. 

What should I say?

I can't think of anything.

Immediately, I felt the phone slip out of my hand.

"Ridge. It's Rin. This was all my idea. What Shin told you is part of the truth. Last night, or two nights ago, my father kidnapped us and forced us to stay with him. He won't let us leave and we're being watched around the clock."

No, we're not. Why is she lying?

"He gave us an ultimatum that I won't tell you because it is personal, and I can't let him do that to you or Shin. I'm sorry that we couldn't follow through on our promise even though you came through for yours. You've been amazing and a great friend to me. Thank you for taking care of my sister. Is she there with you right now?"

"...yes. She's here. I don't understand. I quit my position. Did everything you asked, despite the doubts because Shin believed in you, and he can't even tell me himself?"

"I'm telling you because it was my idea. That's all. You shouldn't blame him for any of this. My father wasn't going to have it any other way. A part of our plan all along was to get him to trust us and this is finally it. It's true that we might not see each other for a while, but goodbyes are only temporary, never permanent. I want you to remember that. Thanks for all you did. You served it well. When the world becomes free of illness, mental fog, has a retained sense of clarity about them, you'll think back to this conversation and thank yourself for being a part of change. Our plan worked. Can I speak with Ritsika?"

I turned over and faced the other way. Tears keep running down my face and they won't fucking stop! Why? Why would she lie like this even though I should be the one telling him? He's my friend. After all we went through, I guess I couldn't bring myself to do it. I keep wiping my face off, hoping the tears would wash away. I guess I haven't changed at all.

"Yeah, here. Ritsika. It's for you."

"For me? Who are you talking to? Hello, it's Ritsika! Who am I speaking to?"

"It's Rin."

"Uh, wha-Rin. What are you doing? Where are you? Ridge was worried about you guys. Is Shin okay?"

"He's fine. And you? Are you okay?"

"Uh...yeah. Thanks...for asking...? Why are you, asking? I didn't think you cared."

"You're one of the few people in the world I care about. You shouldn't take that for granted. I'm willing to forgive all you've done but you have to promise me one thing. Only one thing."

"Uh-Rin, uh. Rin. Wh-why? How could you say that? I've-uh. I can't even finish my words."

"Try and finish them because I still haven't told you what I want from you."

"YES! Anything! I'm willing to do anything! I'm so sorry, Rin-Rin. Words can't explain how horrible I've been to you. You're just...perfect. My father loves you, but never says. He pays no attention to me, and I...I...was...jealous. It doesn't excuse it."

"Live for yourself."

"What?"

"Live for yourself. If you manage to do that, we'll be sisters forever. You should ask our father what that means. Goodbye, Rin. I love you dearly and hope you take care of yourself. But only for yourself. Not for our father."

Rin nudged me on the shoulder and handed me back the phone. "It's your turn. A friend of yours is owed that much." she whispered, kissing me on the forehead. This can only be described as love.

"Rin?! Rin?! What do you mean?! What does my dad have to do with any of this? HELLO?!"

"Can you put Ridge back on? I need to talk to him."

"No, wait. What was she talking about? Is she not going to answer me?" Rin got up and went in the shower and I suppose that was her way of letting Rin go in her heart. She had to forgive her, but it would be impossible for her to forget what she did. I hope they see each other again one day. It's truly our own choices we have to live with. The ones that stay with us until death, for the remainder of our lives. I don't want to regret a single thing or at the very least, not be able to fix it. 

"She's not going to answer you again. It took everything in her to even tell you that. You've hurt her very deeply, me too. We both have to live with that unfortunately."

"But-" she started crying, "I don't know if I'll ever see her again to make it up to her. She has to let me say something else to her. She has to! I love her so much and now she's telling me we're sisters and to talk to our dad, I don't know what this means, and I can only talk to her about it. Please, Shin. I take it back. Everything. I take it back. Just let me speak to her. Please!"

"It doesn't work that way. You have to live with it. Just do what she asked of you, and I can guarantee that you will speak to her again. Can you put Ridge back on the phone?"

Silence.

It’s tough to accept. Knowing that you caused the damage in a relationship without a way to truly fix it. We can only move on.

"Please Shin. Just another word. I'm owed that at least."

"Can you put Ridge back on the phone? Rin left. I'm so sorry." I wiped my own face, removing the tears that were left. This was the roughest day I've had in a while. I can't believe she lied for me. I didn't ask her to do that. Especially since the reason we're changing plans is something that still, is truly unknown to me. 

"Sure. Shin?" she whispered. The way she said my name sounded like she was on her deathbed. It was fun while it lasted, even though it cost a heavy price. "Yeah?"

"Take care of her. Ridge. Here. Shin wants to talk to you." And that was it. I hate that it sounded like I'll never speak to her again. I truly hope it isn't the case. 

"Uh, sure. Wait-where...are you going? Dude, what did you say to her?" Ridge asked. 

"How did you know they were sisters?"

"Just a hunch, I guess. They look too similar and the way they act reminds me of my brother."

"How many siblings do you have? We don't know each other as well as we should, do we?"

It sounded like he sat down, his tone was even and more like the Ridge I knew. Whoever that was. "2 brothers and a sister and no, regrettably, we don't. But there's always a chance, no? I have a feeling what Rin said wasn't the truth, but I won't ask you anymore about it. I don't care. Where are you going, for real? You can tell me that at least."

"With her dad. We're leaving today on a ferry. I've never been on one, but I'm excited. I don't know if I've told you that I love the water. There's something about being in the middle of the ocean and no one will be there to save you. I don't know. A lot of what she said was true, too. You know?"

"I don't want to hear about it. I quit my tenure under you, because well, you got fired and didn't think it was fair, I told you that. But I was applying for another department to finish my assistant teaching and guess what?"

"What?" I hate when people say that instead of just telling you what it is they wanted you to guess. Because truly, they're not asking. What if I didn't want to guess and said nothing. Awkward. 

"They didn't have any for the department of Pomology in Canada, but they did have one in Brazil."

"Brazil? Why Brazil?"

"They say according to the legends that one of the Seven Trees happens to be in an Amazonian forest that would be called modern day Brazil. Cool, huh?" I could practically feel his smile through the phone. He didn't have to keep this up. "I don't know how many spots are available or even I'll get in or end up going there but I owe you a thank you."

"Me? Why? I practically made you qui-"

"I did that on my own."

"Okay but still. You were all angry and mad about things not working out and all, I...I felt or no, I feel bad. Why are you such a good friend even though I haven't been one to you?" I begged. You can't know the reasonings behind everything, but some things truly make no sense.

"Because you gave me a sense of purpose. All this trips in the past year, adventures, mistakes. None of them even came close to this. And with the announcement of what her father said regarding Osaka Industries, I know it's real. These trees are out there and there's something we can do about it. I have to see one of them before I die. Thank you, for that. You're still an idiot and you could've been more in touch, but you were with her. So, I knew you were okay."

I can't believe it. I still don't think I've been good to him, a friend I mean. Or that I deserve one like him or a girl like Rin. "We've come a long way. And I think so, too. That it's real. And I feel the only way that I can find out if that it's true or not is if I stay with him. He knows something."

"I know. I heard it in Rin's voice. I still am upset, but it's really because we didn't get to say goodbye. Don't question what you've done for me, it's more than I can ever repay you for."

It wasn't until he had told me these words that I understood what it was in me that changed. The fact that I withheld myself from all these experiences. I only looked at where I was going wrong, instead of all the things that I've done right. "Life is strange, but it wasn't goodbye. We'll see each other again."

"I'm sure of that," he told me. "Your girlfriend told me that goodbyes aren't permanent. Who knew she was such a poet." he laughed. "I can call her that, no? She is your girlfriend now, isn't she?"

"Shut up, dude. You never stop. Keep in touch?" 

In my heart, I always knew she would be. How things change so much in ways that you could never expect. 

"Of course, no doubt. If we keep searching for the Tree, we'll see each other again. No doubt." He was about to hang up, but then I heard another familiar voice.

"Yeah, load em' up right there! Give me the phone. Shin, you bastard! What's this with you going off with Rin?! I knew her first!"

This fucking guy that I really hope I don't see again. "Tony. I wish it was nice to meet you. I'll tell you something though, I was jealous of you at first. I thought you had her. Turns out you just load boats on a dock. Funny how life turns out." 

Shin 1, Tony 0. We were never equal!

"You little bitch, take care of her. I thought you were coming here but Rin told me what happened last night. That Osaka dude is sketch. Stay cool around him bro. But uh, good luck. I gotta go. No! You idiot! It goes on the other side-Hello? You still there?" he asked me, unable to stop laughing. What an idiot, I knew he was one when I met him. We're nothing alike but I can appreciate him. He was nice to me.

"Yeah. So, what will you do now? A new semester isn't until next year."

"I think I'll stay in Japan. It'll be a bitch trying to get a Visa and actually staying here but Tony says he has connects and that I have a job on the dock working with him, so I think I'll do that. I can keep studying Yuzus and learn more about the business like that from here. I have to go, today's my first day. He's kind of a hard ass."

"Yeah, he is. And Ridge?"

"Yeah?"

"Take care of yourself and I know we'll see each other again soon. Maybe years, months, weeks, but it'll happen. And Ritsika...her too. Rin cares about her a lot-"

"And you care about Rin, and I should watch over her. Okay, I get it. She's controlled you from the start." He laughed. "See you dude." 

With that, my new life had just begun.

I quickly put my clothes on and left a note on the bed Rin telling her to meet me by Aomori Bay when the ship was about to leave because I had to do something. It was already almost time.

I went downstairs, through the main lobby and called a cab. It had only been about two minutes when I saw a Black SUV pull up beside the curb in front of me. The window rolled down creepily and of course; it was him. "Get in. We're about to head off."

"Uh, no. I'll find a ride there, it's okay. Besides, I have to do something." No, you weirdo. I don't need a ride. 

"Just get in. I'll give you a ride to wherever it is you have to go." He looked at me. It doesn't really seem like this guy knows how to take no for an answer. So, stupidly enough, I got in.

***