"The Grouch"

We now return to the perspective of MIZUTAMI SUMIKO aka the self-proclaimed MAIN CHARACTER who has rejected the HISTORICAL RESEARCH CLUB in favor of FIGHTING THE ISLAND’S NIGHTMARES with only TWO DAYS UNTIL THE CULTURE FESTIVAL.

Shikishima fires off its rockets for a while longer. Drones, too, thousands of them, trailing behind the missiles like swarms of locusts. While Fuumi, Mizushima, and Michi beat a hasty retreat back to their homes on the layer above in Ni-Machi, I sit on the concrete steps to my apartment complex and watch the overhead barrage go on and on. A few other people emerge on the street, their eyes on the sky. I want to talk with them, but I’m not sure how, so I place my hands behind my head and gaze upwards instead.

This isn’t the first time I’ve seen Shikishima fire its missiles, but this is the largest attack that I can remember. The biggest rocket barrage that ever happened took place before I was born, in 1989, when Shikishima intervened in China after Tiananmen with cold fusion ballistic missiles. I have vague memories of another large barrage when I was little; we fired on Saigon that time. Well, I guess it was called Ho Chi Minh City back then.

I gaze at the sky for a while longer, but I got stuff to do. And besides, we fire missiles into Red China and the Golden Triangle all the time; if I wait another month or two I’m sure I can catch another barrage if I feel like it. I head back inside our cramped apartment and start cooking that ramen dinner for Nii-chan and me. He should be home by now, but even by the time I’m finished, he’s nowhere to be found.

I frown. If he’s gonna be out late, he should tell me. But then I sigh, because he specifically told me not to skip school this morning, but I did anyway. Anything on his part that I perceive to be unfair to me is probably something I deserve for being unfair to him.

I don’t feel like eating in general, but I definitely don’t feel like eating now if this dinner is supposed to be for the both of us. The ramen’s gonna get cold, but that’s just how it is sometimes. I head over to our little living room, which consists of one ratty green couch, one cluttered coffee table, one old radio, and one old television. I grab the remote and flop on the couch; the funky smell radiating from it screams “home” to me. Nii-chan and I used to watch television all the time together; not so much anymore.

I’m bored with nothing to do. I close my eyes and try to meditate for the umpteenth time in my life, but the first thing that comes to mind is a gun jammed into my skull and cloaked monsters with twenty-one faces. I don’t want to think anymore, so I reach out to the coffee table, nearly knocking over a half-empty bottle of Laotian soda until I find the remote. I hit the ON button.

“-the economy on the island is quite strong,” the talking head on the television says. The television is slightly grainy and discolored, distorting the financial analyst as he speaks toward the camera. “Inflation has cooled to a mere 13.6%, and this past quarter saw GDP growth of 1.3%, the highest in years.”

I light a Chinese cigarette that says LEAVE THE GUN, TAKE THE CANNOLI.

“Consumers are worried about interest rates and high food prices,” another talking head reports.

The first talking head shrugs. “Maybe the people down in San-Machi should trust the experts on the strength of the economy.”

“The people of San-Machi are also said to be concerned with regular factory closings and outsourcing to the State of China."

The first talking head shuffles his papers. "An interesting concern, but first, here's a word from our sponsor."

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THE AMERICAN PERIL!

'Baka' Hikari, an average Shikishima high schooler, learns he musn't run away when the ambitious leaders of the perfidious Occident launch an all-or-nothing gamble to conquer Shikishima-

I frown, sending the cigarette to the corner of my mouth, and change the channel.

“-afraid,” a man says into the night, leaning on a rail overlooking the Pacific Ocean. “I’m just afraid.”

It takes me a second, but I actually recognize the location where they shot this drama in Ni-Machi.

A very attractive woman stands next to him. “Afraid of what?”

The wind rustles through the man's hair. He sighs. “Afraid of making this leap. We’ve been friends for years, since college, and last night…what we did last night might’ve changed things. We can’t just go back to being friends.”

She studies him for a moment. I ash my cigarette and find myself watching intently.

“I still don’t get what you’re afraid of,” she says softly.

“If we…you know, become more than just friends, and things don’t end up working out…” the man gazes out into the sea. “I’d lose more than just a partner. I’d lose someone I’ve been friends with for a long while.”

There’s no soundtrack, just the rhythmic lapping of the waves. Her hand slowly slides over his own.

“We’ll just need to have some faith in ourselves,” she says sweetly.

They hold hands. I look at my own hand. Nobody’s holding it. Nobody’s ever held it.

I resist the urge to kick the television through the wall, and instead just change the channel.

“~Hana-hana-hana-hana-hana-hanabillion!”

Bright colors zoom and whip across the screen as an episode of Shikishima’s very own hit anime Lucky Girl Hanabi! returns from commercial break. I light another cigarette - this one says JEEZ, SHE FELL FUNNY.

Hanabi, a black-haired beauty in real life, voices a high school version of herself who usually spends each episode sauntering around animated Shikishima and helping those in need. Today, she’s supporting a student rubbing her eyes in a local park.

“Ever since I got to middle school,” the girl says, now staring at the ground. “Nothing feels fun anymore. It’s like all the joy got sucked away. It’s not like I feel sad. It’s more like I don’t feel anything.”

Hanabi studies her for a moment. I ash my cigarette and find myself watching intently.

“You’ll be okay~!” Hanabi assures her in a sing-song voice. “Just think about all the good things in life! Look at that cute little rabbit. Look at the ships bobbing along in the ocean. Go watch a movie, go watch some television, go for a run! Just be happy!” Hanabi then wags her finger. “And think about how much worse some people have it. There are little girls your age who have to live in Red China, after all. Shikishima is a pretty swell place to live, too. Our GDP growth just hit 1.3%!”

The middle schooler takes that all in, then laughs. “I guess I just need to think a little differently. Thanks, Hanabi!”

Hanabi ruffles her hair. “Anytime. Remember, Hanabi and Shikishima are always there for you-”

I shut the television off and toss away the remote.

Nii-chan still isn’t home. I’m absolutely bored. I’m so bored that I even try to read.

We got a box of books underneath the coffee table. I yank it towards me and look around, trying to find one that seems interesting. I come across some old light novels titled Reincarnated in Another World…With Unlimited Mustard???

I got nothing else to do, and there are knights and mages on the front, so I give it a read. Or, I try to, at least.

Reading sucks. It just doesn’t work for me. No matter how hard I concentrate, the kanji just dance around in my head. I know a sentence is supposed to be read a certain way, but it all gets jumbled out of order. Sometimes the kanji characters themselves look backwards to me. It takes forever to get through a single page. I once had an ESL teacher, back during Cool Shikishima when we were all buddy-buddy with America. What did he call it? Dys-lex-ia, or something scientific sounding like that. The other teachers had never heard of it before, and he left the island with a sad look on his face after the Chrysanthemum Revolt on the mainland ended the détente with the United States.

I hate reading aloud in school. I always go too slow. Not only does it piss me off, but it pisses off the whole class as well. In elementary school, it was even worse. I think it was around that time that I started having no friends.

I chuckle at the memories - that’s when I started beating people up, too.

I toss away the mustard book. I turn the television back on and flip to a music channel. I used to have a portable music player filled with American rock music and Imperial German marching songs, but it broke maybe a year ago. The radio currently plays Shikishima City Pop, which is alright, enough to keep me distracted. I close my eyes - I want to eat dinner with Nii-chan, but I guess I can kind of nap until he gets here.

I have trouble sleeping. There are a lot of nights where I simply don’t. On that couch, to the smooth beats of the radio, I fall in and out of consciousness. I think I do, at least. The thing about falling in and out of consciousness is that you don’t really realize it. I know I was ensconced in something halfway between a daydream and a lucid one.

I think somebody was holding me close. Their arms were wrapped around me, like I could sigh into their chest and all my worries would be forgotten…I knew it was a dream though, because I ain't ever been held like that.

The door to the apartment opens.

“I’m home…” Mizutami Kouji says, looking exhausted.