Chapter 122:

The aggressive Alien gambit

En Passant Grandmaster

Muirchertach glared and stopped Sir Grobhand before asking for Mimoko's name. Upon hearing it, he immediately whipped out his own DESPER and aimed it at Iori.

"Ye can't fight both of us at once, so whichever one ye don't fight, takes out yer friends."

"Then play me," Iori snickered as she stepped forth.

Muirchertach paused, but ultimately began smiling maliciously. "Fine. I'll even throw ye all a bone. Ye lose, ye die, but if ye win, ye and yer friends, Mimoko and that bald lass will be returned to the lass' bunaidh home."

"And you lose, you confess to all your sins before getting all your hair sucked bald by a giant vacuum and then suffocated BDSM-style in a latex vacuum bag."

Muirchertach recoiled at the proposal, but ultimately agreed and turned to Mimoko to ask if she was in on the wager. "No ill fate should befall ye if yer friend falls, but ye can't get in on the winning condition if ye don't consent."

Mimoko consented as did Carol, while Sir Grobhand and Sorcha agreed to come only as spectators. Muirchertach activated his DESPER causing the scenery to change to that of a green countryside. A wooden table with a chessboard appeared and Iori and Muirchertach sat down at it.

"This scenery is really peaceful," Mimoko noted.

"It be reminiscent of Ireland's countryside," Muirchertach stated.

"So I'm playin' as white? In that case, I hope I get lucky and I get to play somethin' while I still look like this," Iori grinned as she moved her pawn to e4.

"Unlike me daughter, I play smart," Muirchertach glared as he moved his pawn to d6.

"The Carro-Kann defense. Iori-chan better be on her guard," Mimoko thought as Iori moved her pawn to d4.

Muirchertach followed by moving his pawn to d6 while Iori moved her knight to c3. He then captured the pawn at e4 with his e-pawn, prompting Iori to capture said pawn with her knight.

"So far so good. After knight f6 and a knight trade, they'll be in a Carro-Kann Defense: Tartokower variation. From there, Iori should have the advantage," Mimoko thought as Muirchertach moved his knight to f6.

Iori however grinned and moved her knight to g5 instead of capturing the knight at f6.

"What is she doing- No, she's playing that new gambit that's becoming a trend, the Alien gambit! " Mimoko thought as Muirchertach stared in confusion before shrugging and moving his pawn to h6.

"LOL, Guess I really did suck off all your luck, Sorca-chan," Iori grinned.

"What are ye babbling about?" Muirchertach snarled in annoyance.

"You played just how I wanted you to, and now while I look like an alien, I can play... THE ALIEN GAMBIT MOTHERFUCKER!" Iori shouted as she captured the pawn at f7 with her knight.

Muirchertach stared in shock for a few minutes before scowling and capturing the knight at f7 with his king. "Aliens ye say? What rubbish. Ye young brats have no respect for the game."

"That was a pretty nasty fork though," Iori snickered as she moved her knight to f3.

Mimoko began to scowl. "C5 can ruin her plans, but if this guy doesn't know that, Iori-chan will win," she thought.

Muirchertach moved his bishop to g4, causing Iori to grin manically. "YO! Dumbass just fell for the big trap. Check!" she snickered as she moved her knight to e5.

Muirchertach's face began to contort in anger as he realized the fork he was in. He cursed in Irish before slamming his king down on g8 and watched Iori capture his bishop on g4 with her knight. He promptly captured said knight with his knight, but Iori moved her bishop to c4 and forced him to move his king to h7.

Now Iori captured the hanging knight on g4 with her queen forcing Muirchertach to move his pawn to g6 to avoid mate in 2. She then moved her bishop to d3 while Muirchertach moved his rook to g8. Iori didn't give up on her attack though and moved her pawn to h4, prompting Muirchertach to bring his queen out to d7.

Iori quickly slid her queen to e2 as Muirchertach moved his pawn to e5, prompting her to capture it with her d-pawn.

Growing more, and more frustrated, Muirchertach decided to put Iori in check by moving his bishop to b4. "CHECk! HOW YA LIKE THAT!?"

"Lol, lame-o," Iori scoffed as she slid her pawn to c3, sending the bishop back to c5.

Iori then resumed her attack on the king's side by moving her pawn to h5. Muirchertach quickly moved his queen to e6, but that did little to stop Iori's attack.

"Back in check, bitch!" Iori snickered as she captured the pawn at g6 with her h-pawn.

"Will ye stop with the checks!?" Muirchertach fumed as he moved his king to h8.

A sinister smirk formed on Iori's face as she moved her queen to h5.

"Looks like she realized it. She's smarter than she seems," Mimoko thought as Muirchertach hastened his demise by capturing the pawn at g6 with his queen.

"Ugh, guess we trade queens... PSYCH!" Iori taunted as she captured the queen at g6 with her bishop.

Muirchertach began to go pale and sweat. "NO! I can't lose now! I just got a big financial backer! I haven't even bought the gold toilet yet!" he shouted as he captured the bishop at g5 with his rook.

That didn't do a thing, as Iori simply captured said rook with her queen, leaving Muirchertach with little choice but to move his bishop to f8.

"You really think that would work?" Iori taunted as she captured the pawn at h6 with her bishop.

"No... Please have mercy!" Muirchertach begged as he moved his knight to d7.

"I did. That's why I made it so you'll confess to all your crimes before going to hell, so you can get it all off your chest. Checkmate," Iori maliciously smiled as she captured the bishop at f8 with her bishop and gave Muirchertach the middle finger as the game ended in her victory.

The board began to vanish as Iori's, Mimoko's, and Carol's hair immediately grew back to the lengths it had originally been before being shaved off. Much to Iori's pleasure, Carol had recorded it on her phone.

Muirchertach then suddenly burst into maniacal laughter and began confessing to his various crimes.

"Guess we gotta wait till he's done confessing to go back home," Iori whispered.

"Seems you truly did siphon away all my luck," Sorcha chuckled as she wiped away a tear.

While she was a little upset that Muirchertach would be dying due to the DESPER, she ultimately felt he had it coming both for his reckless demeanor and all the crimes he committed. Sir Grobhand on the other hand tried his best to drown out Muirchertach's voice by clanking around his armor, but the DESPER simply froze him in place and muted him, preventing him from interfering.

"Iori-chan, why'd you go for an Alien gambit of all things?" Mimoko whispered.

"You upset? It's solid if you know how to use it," Iori countered.

"He fell for the big trap, but if he played c5 instead of bishop g4, you would have had problems."

"I knew he wouldn't though. The fact that he took nearly 3 minutes to think after I captured the pawn at f7 showed he'd never encountered the gambit properly."

"True, though there was still the chance that despite that, he'd find the right counter."

"And if he did, I'd beat him anyway. So you upset?"

"About the opening, no. Recently, both Okaa-chan and I have begun exploring some of the more unconventional openings and gambits."

"Really!?"

"Yeah, and it's honestly given me a whole new outlook on chess as a whole..."

...

A few days ago, Mimoko scowled in confusion as she stared at the chessboard before her. She had just headed down for breakfast and was playing a casual game at home with her mother. However, Daria had made the odd choice of opening the game by moving her pawn to f4.

"Okaa-chan, are you planning to throw the game?" Mimoko scowled.

"Not in the slightest. In fact, I want you to play very seriously," Daria glared.

"Why?"

"Because I'm trying to learn all the odd and uncommon openings and gambits so I'm best prepared to counter them."

"Is this because of your loss to Tanabe-kun?"

"That was the trigger, but ultimately, the incident with Michiko truly made me realize this was a necessity. I need to learn everything so I can be best prepared to take down any challenge that goes my way. The same could be said for you."

"But I'm able to see-"

"Doesn't matter if you can see the moves. Depending on the time control, an odd move could take ya off guard and cost ya the game. Not to mention, I think both of us need to learn to respect these odd moves a bit better."

"What do you mean?"

"Recently, I've come to the conclusion that the Bongcloud might be a solid opening for highly skilled players."

Mimoko let out a horrified gasp, causing Daria to chuckle. "Oh quite your gasping. I'm not gonna start playin' Bongclouds as my go-to opening. But there is some credence to support that it's not as disastrous as one might think. For example, Grandmaster Hikaru Nakamura, one of the best players in the world embarked on a challenge where he exclusively played the Bongcloud and other variants of it. And wouldn't ya know it, he did really well. Then there's Peter who effortlessly wins tournaments by playing crazy Bongcloud openings and other uncommon openings and gambits. Point is, serious players like you and me need to truly learn the ins and outs of these moves both to better counter them, and better respect them."

"'Respect them'?"

"Yeah. We both tend to cringe whenever someone plays a questionable move like the Barnes opening. However, even though some openings are bad, they can still win games if the one playing them is insanely good. Today I want to focus on the Bird opening since I recently had a conversation with Himitsudono about it."

"What's this about birds?" Ichimitsu asked as he read his paper.

"Want us to teach you?" Mimoko growled.

"Nah... Stocks are my life."

Mimoko let out an annoyed groan before returning her focus to Daria.

...

In the present, Mimoko let out a chuckle. "Perhaps maybe I'll attempt this Alien gambit against Okaa-chan in our next friendly," she thought.

Muirchertach soon finished his confession as a giant vacuum appeared and began sucking all his hair off. Once he was as devoid of hair as his daughter, he himself was sucked into the vacuum, where the vacuum bag compressed around him, suffocating him to death.

Carol, Mimoko, and Iori were then warped away, leaving Sorcha and Sir Grobhand behind as the scenery returned to normal. Muirchertach's corpse fell to the ground with a thud as his DESPER emitted a puff of smoke.

Sorcha stared at Muirchertach's corpse and began to frown. "His arrival was a bit too convenient for those three. That and he said he'd send them to their "original" home. What did he mean by that?"

Before she could ponder further, Scharlachrot and a squad of fairy grunts busted into the salon, demanding to know what happened. As Sorcha explained the situation, Scharlachrot slammed her fist in frustration.

“Damn him. Now we’ve lost our leverage, and chance at unmasking that bastard!”

“Hmm?”

Scharlachrot let out a heavy sigh and decided to tell Sorcha everything at a different location. But as she turned to face Sir Grobhand, she realized he had escaped.

Outside, Sir Grobhand snuck along the walls before dialing Pelwer.

“Ah Sir Grobhand. A report?”

“Yes, my liege. The taoiseach is dead, and Mimoko, the horse slapping whore is traveling to New York.”

“‘Horse slapping’?”

“She slapped my horse, dammit!”

“Well, I can use that. Anything else of note?”

“Yes! The horse slapping whore had a key to the DESPER!”

Those words immediately caused Pewler’s eyebrows to rise as he leaned back in his chair. “So Mimoko Inoue has DESPER keys then. In that case, all is going exactly according to plan. Mimoko, you’ll soon fill the role of Duos Calceamenta perfectly.

“Ugh, I’m Sir Grobhand, you know.”

Rather than continue the conversation, Peeler hung up, causing Sir Grobhand to stand in awkward silence as he waited for a reply. “Um, my liege?”

…

Mimoko, Carol, and Iori blinked as they found themselves in a bare room. The room appeared to be well maintained and high-end, yet not one piece of furniture remained. There was a window and door, but nothing else noteworthy.

Carol stared around the room, and suddenly went pale. She frantically dashed towards the window and began panicking. "No, no, NO! WHY ARE WE HERE!?"

"Wait, what do you mean?" Iori asked as she ran over to the window.

The view outside was nice, with a large fountain and gate visible. The sun was also beginning to rise, making things much more scenic, yet the sight only brought terror to Carol.

"We gotta get out of here. If we don't, we're gonna die!"

Iori's eyes narrowed as she sensed Carol's desperation, naturally leading her to ask what was wrong. With a deep sigh, Carol faced Mimoko and Iori.

"This is a room in the Kunningana mansion. You may not know this, but the hoe's owner, Fiana Kuningana, is a powerful senator and Pewler's running mate. She's also the older sister of lawyer Theresa Broadstone, a cruel woman that abused her daughter, Zinnia, and gave her so much hell."

"Wait, are you implying-"

"Yes, I am Zinnia Broadstone."

The full game:

White: Iori Ishikiridokoro (1188) Black: Muirchertach Glas (1477)

1. e4 c6

2. d4 d5

3. Nc3 dxe4

4. Nxe4 Nf6

5. Ng5 h6

6. Nxf7 Kxf7

7. Nf3 Bg4

8. Ne5+ Kg8