Until I Leave IV

While Rilis was preparing a meal, Carolyn checked on Hanson's condition by reading his pulse through his wrist.

"Your wife was really worried about you. The villagers as well."

"I see. I must have really frightened them."

"I'm not sure what's bothering you, but you were very lucky this time. If you had been on top of a staircase or ladder, you could have ended up severely injured or even dead. Are you certain that hiding your issue from Ms. Rilis is the best thing to do?"

"That, I understand. But I still can't tell her."

"Why?"

"Because she wouldn't blame me, and I don't deserve to be comforted. Still, I suppose it's indeed time I told you."

It sounded like Hanson's worries were somehow connected to her, so Carolyn became suspicious. She removed her hand from his wrist and turned to face him.

"Tell me what?"

"Do you believe that your father died on that day?"

Carolyn flinched before taking a moment to respond.

"I... If I had to say yes or no, then yes."

"I think so as well. However, as I'm sure is the case with you, I couldn't be certain because there was no corpse found. But now, it's no longer a mystery. He's dead, for certain."

"What, do you mean?"

As if her heart was gripped by a phantasmal hand, Carolyn forced that question from her lips.

"A month after you arrived, I received word that your father was being used to lure you and your mother. However, there was no mention of his body being shown, so I didn't take action. No, even if they did show his body and he was still alive, I doubt I would have made a move because the risk was too high."

"Why, didn't you, tell me?"

"Because there was no point. I couldn't save him, and neither could you. So I decided it was better to stay silent until there were favourable changes to the situation. Unfortunately, there were none, and a couple months later, I received the news that his rotten corpse was paraded through a few towns before being burned at the end of a festival."

As if in a stupor, Carolyn staggered backward and placed a hand on her heaving chest.

"Why...? Why, did Dad have to be treated like that?!"

Even though she didn't want to alert Rilis and the sleeping children, Carolyn couldn't suppress her emotions. She hadn't seen it in person, but the news of how her father died was just too cruel. With tears blurring her vision, she stared at Hanson's calm face.

"What did he do to deserve that? They could have just killed him; they could have at least left his corpse! What did my family, what did we do?! We didn't hurt anyone! We just wanted, to live in peace. That was all we wanted! My mother died right in front of me, and I couldn't even see my dad's final moment. I keep telling myself that they wanted me to live, that this was what they wanted, but what about what I wanted?! Why did I have to live at the cost of their lives?! Why?!"

"Because, you are her child."

"And what does that mean?! You know who my parents really are, you know why they were killed, you know who's chasing us, but you never tell me anything! You didn't even give me a chance to see him one last time!"

Carolyn caught a glimpse of Rilis's figure behind Hanson and could hear the children crying in the background, but she filtered them out. Nothing could distract her from releasing the grievances locked inside her heart.

"That's right. I didn't want to take the risk of you doing anything reckless to see him when he was likely already dead. To me and your parents, your survival is what's most important."

"To hell with that! I don't need you to act like my parent. I hate you!"

With those final words, Carolyn ran out of the house and slammed the door behind her.

"Lyn!"

Seeing her go, Rilis reached out but retracted her hand soon after. She then looked at Hanson with a furious scowl.

"Hanson! There were definitely better ways of saying that! Is that how you repay that sweet girl for treating you?"

"No, I'll need to apologise."

"Despite saying that, you sure don't seem to have regretted talking! Do you really want her to blame you that much?"

"Yes. This, is what I deserve."

"And does she deserve this?! Are you really the man I married? Hah, what am I going to do with you? You know if you just..."

As Rilis began scolding Hanson, Carolyn continued towards Teri's house. The sun was starting to set, so most of the villagers had left the fields and were in their homes. A few spotted her, but one look was enough to tell that she wasn't in the talking mood. She stopped running once her breathing became heavy, but each step was accompanied by the fall of a teardrop.

On many nights, Carolyn had reminded herself that her parents were dead, but there was a faint hope that her dad had managed to survive. It was a hope she wouldn't admit, but she couldn't bear to crush it either. Because even if it was fake, she could at least dream of seeing him again. However, that dream was over. She wished he was lying, but despite saying that she hated him, she trusted that Hanson wouldn't lie to her, because he was like her. He also wanted her dad to survive. That was why he kept searching for clues and keeping tabs on the situation. He had even lost sleep over the news, so there was no way he wasn't distressed. However, Carolyn couldn't help it. Her screaming heart wouldn't allow her to be so kind and understanding.

By the time she reached Teri's house, the sky was dark, and she had exhausted herself and her tears, but she hadn't gotten over the news. All she could think about was the death of her father, so she planned on going straight to her bedroom. Even though he had acted so cruelly, since she had abandoned a patient, she didn't have the face to see Teri, so she hoped that they didn't meet, but she couldn't think of a better place to go.

Teri's house looked slightly different from when Carolyn first arrived at the village. This was because an extra room was built for Carolyn's use once she made a full recovery. She had thought she would have to find a place in the village to stay, but Teri allowed her to stay as a live-in apprentice. Even though she had screamed at Hanson, she didn't feel upset at Teri, despite the fact that he had heard about the news before her. Still, that didn't mean she was ready to see him, or anyone else for that matter.

There was no one in the field, so Carolyn carefully went to the door and opened it as silently as she could. She then closed the door in a similar manner and tiptoed towards her bedroom. She breathed a sigh of relief as she placed a hand on the door, but then she heard Teri's voice.

"Missie, is that you?"

"..."

"Did you get to talk with the city boy?"

"...I did."

"I see. Will you be eating?"

"No, I don't think so."

"'Okay. I'll leave something in the kitchen in case you change your mind."

"...Thanks."

She couldn't bring herself to face him, but Carolyn expressed her gratitude and then entered her bedroom. With the door closed behind her, Carolyn flopped onto her bed. With her face buried in the shoddy mattress, she thanked Teri once more.

"Thank you, Teri..."

Teri often said that he couldn't help with troubles of the heart, but he always seemed to know how to handle her whenever she threw a tantrum. She sometimes wondered if this was what having a grandfather was like, but she always said that she would leave the village, so she didn't try to get closer than necessary.

"Leave the village, hmph. Would he even let me?"

Hanson had once given his support if she decided to leave, but with how conscious he was about her protection, she had to wonder.

"Dad..."

Although she had never seen a human corpse, she had plenty of experience butchering meat, so as she remembered how her father was killed, his image overlapped with that of slaughtered animals. She felt a rising urge to vomit. but she shook her head and suppressed it.

"I should try to sleep."

Tired of the same scene popping into her head, Carolyn tried to sleep it away. However, if her mind had been a little clearer, it would have been obvious what awaited her.