Stardom

Things got better after that. I watch one of my videos. As I’m getting out of my limo cheers in the street go up. My Father’s words ring in my head. ‘All love is really conditional. Especially when it comes to the love of a fan.’ Didn’t my co-star say something similar about the fleeting mess of a fans love. I turn off my phone. In the wake of Beck, and Jude’s break up nothing has changed. Beck, and Luna are reading off to the side. As in Beck is trying to, and Luna is just skimming though. She may just be looking at pictures. I sit a table playing Battle Rocket-ship with Beck, and Shy and Jude play an RPG. Somehow we started playing the same game with Beck and Jude saying things like ‘Hand over your rocket or be destroyed.’ and ‘I got a twenty so I take down your Rocket. B to G9 mother fu-‘. The librarian she shushes us, and we have to stop playing.

“I never thought Alex was right for you.” Beck says. I nod. I haven’t talked about the fight.

“I got a role.” I say changing the subject. “Another lead. Can’t tell you about it yet it’s a secret.”

“Come on you can mention a new role, and then not tell me anything.” He says.

“I’ve already said too much.” It’s on my way to my car someone attacks me.

“I know you got me fired.” Some one says pushing me to the ground.

“What ever I said was the truth.” I didn’t lie unless that person deserved it. Ok maybe little white lies, but not anything worse than anything Cassie, or Steph, or Reed did. Everyone lied I reminded myself. I wasn’t this evil person because I did on rare occasions. That being said I did blackmail, get people I didn’t like fired, and ruin people’s social lives. All while spinning nothing, but the truth. That was typically reserved for complete jerks though. Who ever this was probably deserved it. I roll over to face them. They had pushed me to the ground, and were now just standing over me stupidly.

“You told our boss I was smuggling money.” I laugh.

“Yeah. You were. Did I lie?” He goes to hit me. I cover my face. Then someone tall tackles him. I feel blood running down my forehead. Not a good sign. I remember when I was attacked by a fan who was angry they hadn’t gotten the chance to talk to me at a meet and greet. They had barely managed to grab my arm before my body guard I hired got to them. Suddenly the figure pulls me to my feet. Blood runs down my face. Aaron leads me away. When we’re by a sliver car he turns.

“Are you ok?” Aaron stops. “This is my car. Come on. I’ll patch you up.” I sit. In his rearview mirror I see it. My red Flaw Word is showing. Manipulator. It reminds me. “The best part of being me is that when you’re always getting into fights you’re always the one with first aid, and bandages.” He pulls them out, and then helps me add a silver bandaid to my forehead. “There. I have some make-up stuff in here too.” Using my phone camera as a mirror I pull out concealer, and start applying. Luckily we’re the same skin tone. I cover up my Flaw. “I’m not going to tell anyone.” He says. “There’s a girl in my clique. You’ve probably seen her around, Mila. She has the Flaw Word Cold, but her real one is Gullible. Once they realize how gullible she really is they try to take advantage of that. Even if we’re an action, and reputation based society. People use other people’s flaws against them, or for their own ends. People assume because I get into fights I might physically abuse my family, and friends. Never have, and never will. I’ve seen you around school before. People will only see the bad you do sometimes, even if it’s with good intentions. The thing is there are people who will like you anyway. Everyone’s flawed, some people are just a bit more flawed than the others.” I take in his words. “For what it’s worth I like you. In fact I admire you.” That was nothing new for me, but I’m surprised he of all people admired me, especially now. “You’re very protective of your friends. In fact that’s part of the reason I let Mila join my group. I learned that from you.” I stare at him surprised someone who’s seen the real me can still have such a high opinion. Now that I think about it we’re more similar than I thought.

“I don’t think your that bad ether.” I say. “You might be better than me. Pretending to be something I’m not. Manipulating people, and situations. It was really bad people, or people I have reason to dislike, but still. You’re not just a fighter, or aggressive. You protected me after all.”

“Can I drive you home?” He asks. I nod. It’s after awhile he says. “I could teach you a few self-defense moves if you want.” I nod.

“Sure. Do you have a have a job?” I ask suddenly. He shakes his head. “Some of my celebrity friends need a body guard. I could recommend you.” I say. He smiles.

“Are you ok?” He asks.

“Im fine.” I weirdly am. I’m my normal amount of stressed again. My I should take up meditation or mindfulness, or something.

“So how’s being a star going?” I laugh at the way he says it.

“Good. My page is well into the millions now.” My last post got a lot of positive feedback. He nods.

“Hey. Can I have your number?” He asks. I agree, and we share information. The next day he calls me, and after a few back and forth he says.

“Will you go out with me?”

“Oh I’m sorry I got out of a relationship not that long ago and-“

“I totally understand. Sorry.”

“No it’s fine.”

“I got that job.”

“That’s great. Glad our paths will cross again.” A pause.

“You sound stressed.” He realized some how picking it up though the phone despite my best efforts. Hiding who you really are from family, and friends will do that to you. Then there’s the talk about my break up with Alex. Nether of us giving details, me and my Father. Who is still the same old same old.

“Yeah between my break up. My fans. My dad it’s- a lot.”

“You need a break. You should call up some of your friends. I’ll go with you too if you like.” My phone going off. A notification about a story were a celebrity with the Flaw Lair was caught well lying. It was something small, but some of her fanbase had turned on her. People loved to bash. Especially online. Not that there weren’t really good reasons not to support someone. Like if they were abusive, or something. Among other things. This felt more like that impossible pedestal people put their idols on. Then inevitably falling off it. Or getting pushed off of it, getting pushed off of it felt like the more accurate metaphor here.

“Yeah ok. There’s a party this weekend. A newer actress like me is throwing it. Her name’s Indigo. She just a year older. It will be more semi-casual. I’m allowed to invite three people you should come.” I say. He agrees and we go over clothes, and when my limo will pick him up. This appearance will be for me, and not one else. I think determinedly.