Chapter 133:

Meadow Hay massacre

En Passant Grandmaster

Iori opened the game by moving her pawn to a4.

"The hell is that?" Mick scoffed as he moved his pawn to e5.

"Big-brain strategy, that's what," Iori snickered as she moved her rook to a3.

Mick immediately burst into laughter. "You're a rookie so ya move da rook. Newsflash, kid. That's a Meadow Hay mistake," he sneered as he captured the rook at a3 with his bishop.

"OH FUCK! I WANT A DO-OVER!" Iori cried as she captured the bishop at a3 with her knight.

"Not happening, now time to lose," Mick sneered as he moved his pawn to d5.

Iori began to cry as she moved her pawn to e3, while Mick continued to gloat and moved his pawn to c6. His confidence frew even more when Iori moved her pawn to d4, allowing him to move his pawn to e4.

"How ya gonna respond to my pawn chain?"

"Uh, like this?" Iori trembled as she moved her knight to e2.

"Well too bad, my pawns are gonna lock ya down!" Mick declared as he moved his pawn to h6.

"Wow, so you're just a pawn scrub. Lame-o," Iori scoffed as she moved her pawn to c4.

"Snarky attitude considering you were bawling at your mishap, which will cost ya the game! Check!" Mick declared as he moved his queen to a5.

Iori rolled her eyes and slid her bishop to d2, causing Mick to move his queen back to d8. "Wow, a lame-o queen on a spring," she scoffed as she moved her knight to f4.

"That was just a spring-loaded sucker punch. Now back to the main route!" Mick shouted as he slammed his pawn down on g5.

"Wow, you almost got a check-mark on the board. Bye," Iori taunted as she moved her knight to h5.

"Knights can't do jack on the sides of the board," Mick scoffed as he moved his knight to f6.

"YO! Free knight! Check!" Iori shouted as she captured said knight with her knight.

"It ain't free, it's a trade," Mick scoffed as he captured said knight with his queen.

"Nah, cuz now I can wreck your pawns!" Iori snickered as she captured the pawn at d5 with her c-pawn.

Mick's face began to contort in anger. "You little shit, I'll trample ya for that!" he shouted as he moved his knight to d7.

"Lol, pawn bot broke," Iori taunted as she captures the pawn at c5 with her d-pawn.

"I'm a human being you shit!" Mick fumed as he captured the pawn at c6 with his b-pawn.

"Yeah, and that's why your dumb, cuz you're human," Iori snickered as she moved her bishop to c3.

"You saying you aren't!?" Mick asked as he moved his pawn to a5.

"Nah, in fact I'd say I'm the most human of all since I'm so sadistic," Iori snickered as she moved her pawn to d5, opening a discovered attack on the queen.

"I ain't fallen for that!" Mick scoffed as he moved his knight to e5.

"Whoops, guess I forgot to move my knight," Iori taunted as she moved her knight to c4.

"You think you're hot shit!? Well try this check on for size!" Mick snarled as he slammed his knight down on d3.

"Lol, thanks. Now I'm winning on points," Iori snickered as she captured said knight with her bishop.

"Piece points don't decide the winner," Mick snarled as he moved his queen to f5.

A sinister smile spread across Iori's face as she stared at the board.

"Stick a fork in it, cuz your ass is gettin' glassed. Check!" Iori snickered as she slammed her knight down on d6.

Mick stared in shock at the board before letting out an angry roar and slamming his king down on f8. "You little shit! Go fuck yourself!"

"Right back at ya. Oh wait, you're already fucked!" Iori snickered as she captured the queen at f5 with her knight.

Mick retaliated by capturing said knight with his bishop, but at this point, his position was completely losing.

"Lol, guess that Meadow Hay mistake was more of a Meadow Hay massacre," Iori snickered as she moved her bishop to c2.

"This game isn't over yet! You have a queen? Well I have two rooks!" Mick fumed as he moved his rook to h7.

"Huh? I thought you were the pawn guy. Oh wait, you blew a fuse and can't think straight," Iori snickered as she captured the pawn at c6 with her d-pawn.

"LIKE HELL I'M LOSING TO A MEADOW HAY MISTAKE! I WAS UP A ROOK, DAMMIT!" Mick fumed as he slammed his king down on g8.

"'Down a rook' huh," Iori snickered as she moved her queen to d5.

"You're not getting my bishop!" Mick shouted as he moved his bishop to g6, blundering into mate.

"Glass ass premiering at 11," Iori taunted as she moved her pawn to c7.

"NO IT ISN'T!" Mick fumed as he slammed his rook down on c8, unknowingly hastening his demise.

"Whoops, guess we're moving... IT UP TO MATE IN TWO! CHECK, MOTHERFUCKER!" Iori sadistically shouted as she slammed her queen down on d8, forcing Mick to capture it with his rook.

"YOU FUCKING BITCH! I HATE YOU! I HATE YOU!" Mick fumed.

"And you're gonna hate me even more. Now remember how you said you were up a rook? Well it's Meadow Hay revenge time. Checkmate!" Iori snickered as she captured the rook at d8 with her c-pawn and promoted it to a rook, winning the game.

The board vanished and the scenery returned to normal. Mick's eyes bulged as his blood began to turn to glass, causing him to fall to the ground with a loud thud and wither in pain as he gasped for air.

"Well ain't that a sight. Now I wonder how long this is gonna take before ya die," Iori maliciously snickered as she whipped out her phone and recorded Mick's demise.

"You fucked up bitch!" Mick thought as he died a slow and painful death.

Once he was dead, Iori warped away and his DESPER emitted a puff of smoke.

Once the warp was complete, Iori looked at her surroundings. "Looks like it was a success. Now I just gotta take care of Ponytail," she thought as she pulled a DESPER key out of her breasts and stared at it.

...

As the train arrived at Philadelphia, Mimoko immediately went red in the face.

"What's wrong?" Carol asked.

"I just realized I'm not wearing anything under the robe."

"Oh yeah, we look like we just broke out of maximum security SPA. Guess we should also wipe the cream off before it permanently crusts to our faces."

The two removed the towels from their heads and used them to wipe the cream off their faces as they disembarked.

"My, you certainly have pretty faces," a voice sneered.

The two froze as they turned to notice Pewler and Lakisha waiting for them on the platform. They desperately tried to run back to the train, but Pewler immediately pulled out his DESPER.

"My apologies, miss Mimoko, but first I must deal with this heartless dissident. Would you like to spectate our match alongside Lakisha at my office in Washington DC?"

"I'll challenge you!" Mimoko shouted as she reached into her breasts.

"No, the DESPER has already been activated, so your key is ineffective. Now, will you spectate?"

Mimoko dejectedly nodded her head. Upon her affirmation, the four immediately warping into Pewler's office. Carol began to go pale and sweat as she found herself seated at a chessboard across from Pewler.

"Now, should I lose, I guess I'll die as per your wishes. But if you lose, you become my pet sheepblossom with saved punishment setting 66 going into effect," Pewler sneered.

"Saved what?"

"Oh, did you not know, Miss Mimoko? DESPERs can save punishment settings. Now, let the massacre begin," he sneered as a noise-cancelling barrier formed around him and Carol.

The full game:

White: Iori Ishikiridokoro (1344) Black: Mick Leopard (1011)

1. a4 e5

2. Ra3 Bxa3

3. Nxa3 d5

4. e3 c6

5. d4 e4

6. Ne2 h6

7. c4 Qa5+

8. Bd2 Qd8

9. Nf4 g5

10. Nh5 Nf6