Sister Wolf

Jordan has something to tell me. I watch him fidget in the car on our way to his place. The first time I’ve been back since my first visit. I wait out the silence looking out the window. A cool mist surrounds us on all sides. It has for days. It feels like a bad sign. V would think it was.

“My sister is a wolf-shifter.” He finally says. “I know it’s a lot to ask, but I know it would mean a lot to her if there was someone in her life who didn’t just sympathize, but could empathize. Be apart of a community.” Community. That word again.

“Of course.” I say. “I’ll ask my pack too.” My pack. He smiles as he takes a turn. I know he can hear it in my voice. After losing my pack I feel like I’m finally starting to find my place again. I roll down my window. The night air is cold, but I stick my hand out anyway. The window tickles my fingers as we move. I can feel the chill though my leather coat. It’s getting colder out now. Jordan turns up the heat, and the music. An indie song. A new folk song with a bit of an edge. I look out at the dirt road. On ether side is dense trees. They don’t feel like bars the way the fog does. Obstructing my vision, and my sense of smell. Instead they feel welcoming. Something to escape too. So many places to hide, and be sheltered under. With the oak, maples, and mountain ashes. We turn into his driveway. He gets the door for me. I rub my boots on the mat to get off the mud. The house is as I remember. Light woods, and earth colors. A painting his mom picked out. Slightly worn rugs. We head to the living room to the right. An old stone fireplace blazes. He sits on the couch. I sit on the rug on the floor at his feet. My back against it. I sit with my legs folded to the side of me, in front of a coffee table. There are a few camouflage coasters scattered across it. I smell wood-chippings. Two mounted deer heads are in this room. A mounted coyote, and fox on a shelf on another. They’re a lot of things like that around here. There’s a painting of a blue tick hound, and a blood hound in it. The blood hound had a duck in its jaws. It hangs above the mantle place.

“Based on our old dogs. Porter the blue one, and the other hound is Maddie. Did you ever have any pets?”

“Animals don’t tend to like me much. They can warm up to me but…” He nods. His dad walks past us then. He looks older than he is. With speckles of grey hair. He has a beard. And wears a brown t-shirt.

“Charlotte. Good to see you again.”

“You too sir.” I say. He gives me a nod, and walks off.

“Your dad doesn’t say much.”

“He’s like that with everyone.” Jordan assures me. We talk for a bit, but stops when Alice walks in.

“Alice can we talk for a second.”

“Sure.” She says.

“This is my friend Charlotte. You remember. The one I’ve been talking to you, and dad about.” He says.

“I thought she was your girl-friend. Did you two break up?” I laugh. She says it in that blunt way children do.

“No.” I say.

“So your like me?” She asks.

“Yes.” I answer.

“Can you go running with me? I mean really running. Jordan can’t keep up.” Alice says.

“Of course. I’d like to teach you to hunt too.” I say.

“I know how to hunt.” She says with a bit of attitude.

“Yes but I bet you’ve never done it the way we do in RedCreak.“ I say.

“Ok.” She brightens. We talk for a bit longer. I can definitely smell ‘wolf’ on her. She doesn’t smell like food at all. Though I’m keenly aware that Jordan does. When she gets board, and leaves Jordan nudges my leg with his.

“You want me to make you something. We have lunch meat. You get this look in your eyes sometimes when you look at me.” I flinch. I try not too.

“It’s ok.” I know it’s not my fault, but idea of loosing control still scares me. What we eat isn’t the horrific part. The gore might bother people, but it’s the killing that’s the really scary part. And never knowing for certain you’re not going to hurt someone you care about. Or hurt someone at all. I’ve long since accepted it. I had too. But when I think about too much I still cry in the bathroom sometimes, even if it’s on rare occasion. I try not to let it get to me though. As desensitized as I am. Jordan is my mate not food. I wish I could see him as only that. After we eat. He piles my sandwich high. We sit outside. You can see the stars. He lays on his back relaxed. I make out the consolations I know. Can never get lost if you see the stars.

“Charlotte I’ve been thinking…” He begins. “I keep thinking about what ifs. If we were ever to break up. If your pack ever got separated from me. Alice would be the only wolf-shifter left. She has no pack. I know I don’t need to be a wolf to protect her, or take care of her. That sympathizing is enough, but I…” He pauses. “The wolf-shifter community isn’t an easy one to track down. I want to be stronger. I don’t want her to ever feel like she’s the only one like herself. Alone. I want to be like you.” He looks up at me. I look at him.

“The hunger.” I warn.

“I know. We could form our own pack though. Me and Alice. We’d both be Alphas.”

“I don’t need you to be an Alpha.”

“I know. I want this. Maybe one day we’ll be one pack. Maybe I was meant to meet you.”

“Are you sure about this. It will hurt.” He nods. I hear his heart pick up. I lean down, and my sharp canines tear into his shoulder.