Episode 1-2: To Be Understood

I open my eyes to the sun peeking through the blinds. I have to stop pretending to sleep now.

Riley - “This sucks…”

With a bit of hope in my system, I look over at my alarm clock. 5:57 AM. Yeah, not happening. Time to get up.

Riley - “School can explode.”

My words of resentment change nothing. I take a moment to groan into my pillow before rolling off my mattress onto the floor. Lucky me my bed post broke. So much more convenient to be this close to the floor.

I eye the clothes I’d set out the night before on my desk chair, reaching out and pulling on the hoodie at the bottom of the pile, letting them fall atop my head before collecting them in a ball and standing up, making my way to the bathroom.

Stepping through the doorway, I can feel my teeth gritting at the claustrophobic space I find myself in. The shower, funnily enough, takes up almost a quarter of the room in total. It’s miserable. I can feel the tiles and their sterile white gaze, and no position will hide me from them.

Sometimes I realize how stupid that feeling is. Most times I don’t. I still have to strip either way.

I’m about to step into the shower when I hear the heavy steps of someone walking past and down the hallway to my bedroom.

??? - “Riley, time to-oh?”

I can hear them confusedly walking this way and that before stopping outside the bathroom door and giving it a louder than necessary knock.

Riley - “I’m awake Mom!”

Mom - “Oh my, on to a good start this year? Can I expect a great report card too?”

Riley - “Haha…maybe if you pay me.”

Mom - “Breakfast will be waiting for you!”

Riley - “Yeah I figured that wasn’t happening.”

I wait until I hear her start descending the stairs before finally stepping into the shower and turning the dial, cold water slowly turning hot as I stand awkwardly still. Closing my eyes, I give myself the chance to sit in my own mind.

There she is waiting for me.

Riley - “It’s your last year. You know what you’re gonna do when it’s over, yeah?”

Hah. No.

Riley - “It was stupid to ask you.”

And, pray tell, who else were you gonna ask about our future?

Riley - “Mmm, that’s a good point.”

Well, whatever, we still have the year to figure it out.

Riley - “We said that when we started highschool…”

Let’s consider everything before just researching then! See? Now there’s no responsibility to take!

Riley - “You’re so good at this.”

One of us has to be.

Riley - “Then, would you mind telling me where to look?”

Hmm…maybe there’s more research that needs to be done.

Riley - “Of course there is.”

I open my eyes, though I can still hear her chuckling at me.

Riley - “There always is.”

...

Walking on the sidewalk, I look down to avoid getting the sun in my eyes. I’ll be there any minute if I’m lucky.

Riley - “...damnit. Fuck summerrr…”

Well, really, fuck myself for my inability to go out without a hoodie on. It’s my own fault, I admit, but also, come on. This design is sick. Bloody screaming skull. Heh, hell yeah.

Fiddling with my phone in my hands, my thoughts slip from my clothes to the realization that none of my regular options for music listening sound appealing. Well, that sucks. I half heartedly hit a full library shuffle and try to lose myself in it. Maybe, maybe…

Nope, not feeling it. God damnit. I sigh. My eyes stay locked on the sidewalk until I’m certain I’m close, clued in by the smell of the close by pizza convenience shop and the still open dairy shop that doesn’t seem to have been touched since the 70’s. I raise my eyes.

Riley - “?”

Well, something very interesting comes into view.

Despite still being a summer month, the person in front of me wears a black cloak, their bag slung over their shoulder. Long black hair mixes in with the matching fabric, making it hard to differentiate the two from each other. Weird. Though, I guess I’d wear black too if I could stand the heat. So, maybe cool? Yeah no, definitely cool.

I feel my heart stop when they turn their head.

??? - “?”

She cocks her head at me. The light of the sun seems to mix with her gentle dark skin. Her amber eyes, her soft pink lips. I feel my heart stop.

She’s…she’s looking at me!

I force myself to return my gaze back to the sidewalk. I’m sorry for bothering you, please just stop! Nnnngh, maybe she’ll go away if I just become a statue. That should work, totally.

??? - “I like your hoodie.”

…huh?

Looking back up, I can see the girl standing right in front of me. Her dark red shirt and black skirt are a nice combo, making me even more uncomfortable with her closeness. I feel my gaze taking in every inch of her. Shit shit shit, this is bad. This is really fucking bad, I can’t-

Riley - “Yes.”

??? - “?”

Riley - “I mean thanks!”

With my face as turned away as possible, I give whatever response my mind can come up with, while pleading with my cheeks to remain free of any red.

??? - “You’re not very good at talking are you?”

Her words seem to halt my panic. Did…did she really just say that? Are you allowed to just do that? I turn my face back to her and see her staring at me with curiosity and earnestness.

Riley - “...do…is it normal to just say that?”

??? - “Hmm? I don’t mean it in a mean way. It just sort of seems like you have difficulty with talking.”

Is there a non-mean way to say that?

Riley - “It’s fine, it doesn’t bother me.”

??? - “Oh? Good!”

Riley - “Huh?”

??? - “I mean it’s never good to dwell on something just because it’s a weak point of yours. That’s an easy way to end up feeling miserable.”

Riley - “That’s…a nice thought, but I wouldn’t recommend just accepting being awful at something so base to being human.”

??? - “Oh? So, it’s bad that it doesn’t bother you?”

Riley - “I-maybe?”

??? - “Then it bothers you that it bothers you. That sounds even worse. Poor thing…”

Her gaze fills with pity. It has to be that. I feel my face draining.

Riley - “Are you fucking with me?”

??? - “What do you mean?”

Riley - “I get it, haha, it must be fun fucking with the girl who doesn’t talk to people, wow you’re so cool. Just as cool as everyone at this school. Go talk to your friends about it during lunch, but if this is the only trick you have up your sleeve then maybe you could just let me get to class already. I’m sure you have enough decency to not let me be late, or do you all actually just hate me that much?”

I feel my hands tightening up. I’d hoped I could get to my desk before someone started messing with me. It’s too early for this.

??? - “...huh?”

The confusion on her face causes something to swell up in my chest. Wait…was she being earnest?

No, that doesn’t make sense. None of them have ever acted like that before. Why would they now? Even-even though it couldn’t possibly be true, I still feel white hot embarrassment filling me up.

Riley - “Uhm…so, yeah, if you’re…messing with me…then, yeah, all that…but, now I’m not sure if you are and, uhm…”

??? - “...I’m not.”

Oh. Well, I’m the worst. What’s new?

Riley - “I’m sorry. I’m not used to someone talking to me for any reason besides being an ass. Uhm, I don’t really know…how to handle it…if that makes sense…no that doesn’t really matter, uhm-”

??? - “Apology accepted!”

Riley - “Huh?”

??? - “Oh, I think the bell’s ringing. I hope you stop worrying so much, I gotta get to class now. Bye bye!”

She turned and was getting ready to run off. W-wait, that’s it?!

Riley - “W-wait!”

??? - “Hmm?”

She stops, turning her head.

Riley - “My name is, uh, it’s Riley!”

My words seem to cause a smile to form on her face.

??? - “Cool! I’m Marianalotounge!”

Riley - “...huh?!”

W-is she fucking with me now?!

Marianalotounge - “Bye bye!”

She was off and out of earshot before I got the change to escape my own confusion, leaving me in silence. Slowly, more students began passing me by, forcing me out of my daze, though my mind is still caught in that exchange.

Riley - “Was that real?”

Stupid, it was definitely stupid. There’s no way she was being honest. I’m sure she’s gonna join up with her friends and laugh about getting one over on that loser.

Yeah, that’s definitely what will happen.

Riley - “...”

So, why am I still blushing?

Riley - “I’m stupid.”